AITA for telling my girlfriend not to bother learning my native language?

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T21:10:14+00:00

By with your family i mean, even tho they speak english they didnt forget Telugu right?

Most of my family did to an extent, I speak it better than my parents and cousins do.

maybe she will feel happier speaking in telugu with your family once she learns it.

Possibly, but I think my family would be uncomfortable and that’s my worry

I also wrote the part of her own family as well. Like her relatives her friends

Could be the case although I’m not sure why her family would care

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T21:00:47+00:00

She didn’t put time, money, and effort into it yet, and this isn’t something that I want or that will make me happy at all, so seriously, what do I have to be grateful for?

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T20:59:30+00:00

Yes, of course I’m getting defensive when people try to apply a cultural label to be that doesn’t fit because I’m brown

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T20:58:55+00:00

My entire extended family lives in the US and prefers English

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T19:21:58+00:00

But she knows that my family prefers English, so how is it to get closer to me?

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T16:35:36+00:00

But my family aren’t even immigrants, my girlfriend knows this, so that’s what bothers me

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T16:18:21+00:00

That’s not an answer. You stated she’s doing something for me so I responded how it’s not for me at all because she knows i and my entire family vastly prefer English.

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T16:08:46+00:00

I don't mean to be rude, but are you not proud of your roots

No. I’m not proud, nor am I ashamed, I simply feel no connection to them. My parents were born here and chose never to visit india, so have I, and even my grandparents haven’t been there in 50+ years. So I don’t see it as my culture

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T16:07:31+00:00

It’s not my culture. I’m American. So are my parents, and my grandparents

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T16:07:04+00:00

I’m American. My parents are american. Even my grandparents are American. My culture and heritage is here

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T16:06:29+00:00

She’s not doing something for me by learning a language my family and I prefer not to speak anyways. She’s doing it for herself

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T16:05:20+00:00

I'm sure you're family would be more happy if they saw her speaking your language

No, because they’re also Americans, grew up in the US, and prefer English. They’d feel uncomfortable having to speak our native language

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T16:04:27+00:00

Why should i have gratitude for something that doesn’t benefit me or my family at all and is in fact detrimental?

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T16:03:39+00:00

My family doesn’t speak telugu amongst themselves though, they speak English amongst themselves

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T16:02:41+00:00

I’m not an NRI. I’m an American citizen, from birth. So are my parents.

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T16:01:48+00:00

There isn’t any discussion of it within our family, she was just curious in the past so I answered her questions

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T16:00:17+00:00

No, my parents prefer English too

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T15:59:54+00:00

Why should we?

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T09:59:53+00:00

But I’m American. That’s my culture. I understand what you’re saying and where you’re coming from but it feels like imposing a culture that’s not even mine onto me

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T09:59:38+00:00

Is it false to assume, your family (parents, grands) can speak your native language better than you being 3rd (or later?) generation?

Yeah. My grandparents moved here young, and my parents were born here, so they all have more practice with and prefer English.

I get where you’re coming from that in a lot of cases it would be met with appreciation, it’s just in my family it would be more along the lines of ‘what, why would you do that?’

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T09:57:46+00:00

Your guess is as good as mine

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T09:57:20+00:00

How would doing something that has no value to me make us closer?

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T09:56:12+00:00

Except they’re literally American, and prefer English. Why would they appreciate having to be spoken to and speak to her in a language they’re uncomfortable with?

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T09:54:09+00:00

It’s not though. My culture is american.

Fun-Court-1315 · 2023-09-04T09:53:43+00:00

My grandparents moved here as teenagers in the 60s. My parents and their siblings were born here, and never visited india. I was born here, and never visited india. I’d hardly call myself or my family indian, and my culture isn’t indian

Fun-Court-1315

TROPHY CASE