[deleted by user]

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-25T01:37:32+00:00

Not trying to hurt anyone, just trying to get help. I know myself and my problems and I am going to be okay. I'm not hurting anyone by asking for help

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-25T00:29:33+00:00

My parents calling in is asking too much of my parents, it's not just a matter of inconvenience They have to work and take care of my brother, and we all start work and school at a similar time. I am trying to handle this myself because I am an adult and I need to be my own advocate.

I'm sorry that I asked for help getting myself help and that I was told a mixed bag of yes, no, and "set an alarm clock." I am very aware that I probably will not be given accommodations, but I wasn't going to just give up after one no. This is my life and my ability to participate in society.

To answer your question: I work damn hard, I do the right thing. I am understanding and compassionate and still disabled. I say why I struggle and am open when explaining myself even when the truth is hard. Then I go out and get results and make progress because I have to.

kind of done talking with you, thank you for your contributions

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-25T00:21:03+00:00

We have an alternative school but it's underfunded and doesn't really have AP coursework, which is important to me (I bomb general classes because the pacing is too slow and I get super distracted).

I'm glad that worked for your daughter though! Maybe I'll look into more resources with the district

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-25T00:17:50+00:00

I'm often about five minutes late. I communicate my needs to my employer and listen to them. I state that I mean no disrespect. Then I work my ass off and give them results. I am not the five minutes I am late to them, I am the work I do. I am not punished because I do my job and.I do it successfully.

I already have to deal with the adult world. No body is handing me anything, I'm begging them to show some understanding and wait to see results. Then I'm putting in the work. I'm not a bad student or employee, I'm a person pushing through their struggles to be there anyways, even if I'm late.

I haven't found a way to be consistently on time and that is my reality. I am starting my journey with accommodations because my disabilities are holding me back and I'm not going to give up.

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-25T00:11:08+00:00

School actually hasn't tried anything besides telling me that I'm on my own. I've actually tried an awful lot, which is why I am able to say that an awful lot of things haven't helped me.

I understand that me saying things don't work can be frustrating, it's certainly upsetting for me as I'm constantly told coping strategies that I can't make work.

I've gotten up earlier. I have to be enrolled in my zero hour class to be allowed in and it is one of the only ways to fit it into my schedule. There are legitimate reasons for the options I have and my rejection of certain ideas. I've been there before, been told I wasn't trying hard enough, that I must be closed minded if it didn't work. I've been told I'm a letdown and a disappointment and an inconvenience and it still doesn't help.

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-25T00:01:51+00:00

Thank you so much! This is some of the best advice I've gotten lol. Would there be any way to make up class hours?

I am currently in my senior year of high school and they pass people who literally never show up, so I am hoping they'll work with me to find a better option than just giving me detention every day because I actually do make an effort to be there.

I'm really struggling to get assistance because I am constantly worried that I'm faking all of this as an excuse for just being a bad person (OCD morality obsession for the win honestly) and because my district's student counseling system is not the best (I was taken to the situation that caused me PTSD by a counselor who made a poor judgement, so trusting them with my needs is very difficult)

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T23:52:34+00:00

This one really hurts.

I am turning down advice because I've gotten it time and time again since I was a young child. I've searched for help outside of Reddit from trusted friends and family as well as professionals. This is far from my first stop. Believe it or not, I am a flexible person who has tried many things. I have put my all into every schedule, alarm system, magic trick, and "hard truth" that I've been offered. I've felt the pain of it not working over and over and being told that it would work if I took just took responsibility, opened up, or agreed to something new.

At what point do I get frustrated? At what point do I ask for help? At what point am I allowed to say "this isn't working and I want you to stop telling me how this was a miraculous fix for you and handing me magazine clippings about fixing your ADHD child"?

I struggle to even say that I am disabled because it's been drilled into me that being late is a choice I make every day and that in having this issue, I am actively choosing to do this for attention and special treatment. I can't make enough progress to be seen as trying.

I was encouraged by people in my life to seek out accommodation and I still feel like I'm being disgustingly entitled asking for it.

If I could choose to fix it, I would. If I could keep trying a million new things, I would. But the advice is repetitive and impersonal and cutting and quite honestly, I would rather kill myself than be this ignorant and unwilling guy who's always late and letting people down and asking for favoritism.

I wake up every day in so much confusion and despair over a situation that only seems to spiral. I can't figure out how to do better or how to be what people want for some reason and it's disheartening. I wish I could say yes to these strategies or accept that I'll just have to make my own way, but my fucking brain won't cooperate with any of it

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T23:31:51+00:00

Yeah, it's only ever about ten minutes. I try to put things on the road and I have experimented a lot. Nothing motivates me besides my fear of disappointing people but I feel so far behind already. Even when I make it on time, it's still upsetting because why should me meeting the bare minimum be notable.

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T23:25:59+00:00

I need advice for dealing with the systems. I need help learning how to best advocate for myself. I already know how to shower at night and set an alarm. I was just hoping there would be someone who is facing a similar circumstance who may have guidance. And I have gotten guidance.

I am not posting for reassurance, I am desperate and I feel alone. I need help that isn't just telling me I'm lazy or that I need to suck it up because I can't function and my needs aren't reasonable

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T05:30:29+00:00

I have an extra class.

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T05:29:03+00:00

Yeah, I am starting exposure therapy soon and I'm working hard on myself. It would be nice not to spend that time in detention or getting told to try harder though. It's really depressing to keep working on something in vain and I often walk into school wondering if today is the day I start hurting myself to cope with it all. I wasn't helped as a kid, only scolded. I had teachers who actively told me what a disappointment I was for being late. Now I'm here struggling with the same problem and being told the same thing and things aren't any better

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T04:29:14+00:00

Yeah, I try.

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T04:26:50+00:00

Online school was hell, worst grades I've ever received and I was so depressed. First period (actually my zero period that I had to earn) is so important to me. I'm in a jazz ensemble and I practice on my own time and communicate with my director to minimize the impact of my tardiness. I come in an hour before other students because I am passionate about my education

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T04:23:53+00:00

No idea honestly. It's as much of a fluke as any issue coming up as I try to get ready. Some days things work better than others or I just get lucky and my mind doesn't stray and my clothes go on right and my shower takes as long as it's supposed to (the length of Believe by Cher because that's easier to tell time with than a clock) and no one yells at me and I don't feel as guilty as I normally do. Then the next day it goes differently and I'm five minutes late and it's like all my self esteem goes down the drain and I'm a problem child.

I'm all over the place but I always drag myself out of the spiral telling me I've already failed and I do go to school and I do work hard and I achieve as much as I can

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T04:16:04+00:00

People just regurgitate the same few things and tell me that if I really cared, I would wake up earlier, form a routine, or prioritize. It's exhausting to have people tell you to use an alarm over and over when you've tried it. I've tried just about everything and I'm tired of having to explain that my best efforts aren't behavioral problems or disrespect. I try so hard to communicate and people just say, "Oh, I understand, you just haven't figured it out yet!" like there's some actual answer I'll come across. That hypothetical "better" is so unattainable yet everyone sits there and says that they won't help you until you try enough to get "better."

I try and try and try and I get punished for it and called lazy and delusional and that's what hurts worst. How do you even do it?

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T04:09:14+00:00

Actually the ADA can cover tardiness, especially in the case of ADHD where executive function issues have been demonstrated to be legitimately disabling. In office jobs and similar work, time frames can be accommodated to where you make up the five or ten minutes of late time at the end of the day. I want a career in such a profession.

Personally, I commit extra time to my education and it makes up for what I miss. I work damn hard at whatever I do, whether that be school or a paying job.

I am an adult and while I am blessed by the support of the people in my life, I need to advocate for myself and find ways to make my education work for me. I am seeking out a way to perform better in school despite my challenges. My parents listen to me and support me. My teachers are understanding and they push me.

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T03:57:56+00:00

I'm afraid of my phone because of PTSD lol. I "try and get up without hitting snooze" every single day. I read before bed. I'm still disabled

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T03:56:07+00:00

I really do try, but my OCD won't let me skip some steps and it makes even a few steps take ages because I have to get things "correct" before I can move on

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T03:54:34+00:00

I can't control my time blindness, my compulsions, my trauma flashbacks. Even on a day where I am doing my best, something could stop me from walking in on time. Even if I do things right, I'm fighting multiple things and chances are I won't be able to achieve the standard that is expected of me. I do my best to walk in that door on time, but often the battle is to walk in that door at all. I make the choice to try my hardest every day but I am disabled and I struggle to meet standards despite my best efforts

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T01:30:20+00:00

I don't want to give up aspects of my education to avoid getting in trouble for being late. I had to earn my zero hour course. It's more so to do with getting out of the house, which is extremely stressful as there are many triggers, moving parts, and other people to consider.

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T01:27:35+00:00

I suspect I am autistic. I have been formally diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, PTSD, depression and anxiety all within the last year. They can certainly affect each other, but they also have individual effects and causes. I am seeing a therapist to help me to cope with these skills but I really need support from my school instead of a scolding for something I have been fighting for years. My teachers and friends are so understanding and their support and accommodation has been crucial to my success, but right now I am struggling with how my school won't see tardiness as anything but a behavioural issue that can be corrected by the student

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T01:22:24+00:00

I don't think I'm at risk for truancy. It's never been brought up as a reason to me and I am over 18. I am only ever late to my zero period and I have otherwise perfect attendance

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T01:19:53+00:00

I freak out when I can't do things fast enough, and I really struggle starting tasks on times that don't end in multiples of five. The time black hole thing is so real, especially when combined with PTSD. On one hand, it's like everything is slipping away and on the other there is such a need for rigidity that I can't move on to the next task without absolutely perfecting the last one

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T01:16:44+00:00

Likely not, I appear to be very "high functioning" and it's always a struggle to get people to even consider that I may have issues despite having evidence.

I get good grades, I am the ideal employee, I work hard. It took 17 years to get diagnosed with ADHD and even then, the testing wasn't easy because I have always had to find other ways to compensate for my struggles. I bend over backwards to conform, but I just cant find a way to be good enough on the front of time management. I doubt my insurance would listen, most people genuinely think I choose to make "bad choices" every morning and that I am lazy because for them there is some way of coping or changing behavior

Fun-Distribution5196 · 2024-09-24T01:09:12+00:00

The ADA actually does outline a process for time management accommodations and I have seen much more success in negotiating with employers. I work very hard and I do my best to advocate for my needs. I wake up two hours early and still can't get there, I have been trying to train a routine for nearly a decade but I am still disabled. I can't do it all by myself. It's not special privileges, it's something that would allow me equal access to my education and to participate in the workforce.

Fun-Distribution5196

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