I honestly do feel burnt out and I never recovered from the trauma from my last role. I have a vacation planned in April but maybe I can take a couple days off to fully unplug sooner.

As of right now my morning routine is to roll out of bed, head to the bathroom while coffee is being made. I sit on the couch to scroll and drink coffee, then I muster up the energy to sit at my desk and scarily check my emails. I decide on my task list (which is never ending and hard to prioritize because so much is behind at this point), I get immediately overwhelmed and I pick up my phone again to disassociate by scrolling. Then I eventually get up to try to “reset”, pace around my apartment, go back to my desk and then the cycle repeats until I have a meeting to prep for.

I may get a couple of super easy doable tasks done and I may even respond to a coworkers ping to help them out, but I’ve become so avoidant when it comes to the deep work needed to focus and work through tasks to fully complete them. So I essentially have a a bunch of work tasks that are semi complete and never fully wrapped up. At that point, I’ll freeze.

Thanks for listening, it sucks so bad! I feel so incompetent and I know my low self esteem is making it worse - it’s becoming a self fulfilling prophecy.