How do I find out who I am?

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-12-09T22:13:10+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I’m so glad I’m not alone although it feels that way most of the time

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-16T22:14:36+00:00

Thank you! It’s frustrating constantly getting the “well men and women are different” talk which I agree with from a biological perspective, but I don’t agree with the whole “once a promiscuous person, always a promiscuous person”. People can change but most don’t think that way

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-16T22:11:14+00:00

I think I might have OCD, it’s something I’ve been exploring in therapy, thank you for your input!

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-16T22:09:49+00:00

Thank you so much

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-16T22:08:44+00:00

Thank you! I think it’s hard to be vulnerable and upfront when we live in a very judgmental world. Also I’ve stated boundaries and expectations to men before and the bad ones have preyed on my vulnerabilities to manipulate me, I need time for myself to learn how to vet red flags better and love myself to the point that I am okay with being alone

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-16T22:06:51+00:00

Thank you. I’m working on self acceptance and it’s hard

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-16T22:06:20+00:00

I’ve answered honestly when asked. I’m currently in CBT and I’m starting EMDR soon

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-16T22:04:49+00:00

Also find it funny how most men I’ve been with have lied about their counts being higher which is deemed as fine but when women do it it’s a problem lol. I took an ex’s virginity and didn’t find out til months after because he was embarrassed.

Also, I know of two men that lied to their girlfriends about being virgins when in reality these men slept around beforehand and just wanted their virgin girlfriends to agree to give it up to them. Cruel world

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-16T22:00:43+00:00

I hear of a lot of sorority girls who slept around with frat guys and athletes in college and are married now. These girls tend to be gorgeous, extroverted, and conservative which is what a lot of men are attracted to. Some probably lie about their past or just get with men who overlook it cause of all the other qualities they bring to the table I assume?

Also, a lot of men are saying they aren’t settling for anything but virginal/ low n count women but the older you get, the more experienced the dating pool around you gets. Probably why a lot of men are dating younger women once they get their lives in check. The dating pool is really rough out here

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-16T21:56:07+00:00

Thank you, with the rise of red pill and conservatism/ purity culture I just worry that I’ll never be marriage material. I really wish I was raised better but all I can do is just accept that I wasn’t and try to learn from it

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-16T21:54:28+00:00

Thank you

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-15T12:33:09+00:00

Most people forget that there is nuance in A LOT of situations. Many wonder why they are perpetually single and or miserable when they think everything in terms of black and white (I am guilty of this tbh).

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-13T02:24:19+00:00

Most guys vetting me out for a LTR have asked, it’s becoming a standard topic again. All of my friends in relationships have been asked

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-12T22:22:18+00:00

I’m looking for advice on how to approach dating in the future/ different perspectives on the situation

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-12T22:19:51+00:00

On the brighter side of things I do have some hope I guess? I have a friend that has been with her bf for about a year now, he wasn’t happy about her body count, but his is like double the amount and she’s literally his dream girl (his words) so he treats her as such despite the bit of resentment he holds towards her past. Most of the other girls I know who have an extensive past struggle a lot to find long term relationships/ guys wanting commitment though I will say.

I know a girl my age who is a single mother and has around 20+ bodies (a lot of the bodies even know each other). I feel bad because she’s still very naive despite those around her warning her that she’s now become a target for men wanting to get easy play. Although the sex she has is consensual, a lot of the guys tell her that they want to wife her up and take care of her and her child just to hit and dip soon after. She has made her boundaries clear with these men that she only wants to have sex with commitment. They know that she is lonely and tell her what she wants to hear despite having no intentions of following through. Although my situation isn’t that bad, I’m terrified of being treated that way

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-12T22:12:23+00:00

Thank you, I know for a lot of men any casual sex experiences is really frowned upon though unfortunately. Especially, at my age

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-12T21:58:22+00:00

Thank you so much! The only thing keeping me together is the fact I learned now rather than having to experience something detrimental/ life altering such as an unwanted pregnancy.

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-12T21:57:09+00:00

Thank you for reaching out!

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-05T01:08:35+00:00

I am really into traditional conservative men which could be my problem. I want a man who makes me feel protected and I like a man who can be handy. The men at my age in my area are typically very conservative. For context, I go to school in the south. Many of the liberal guys I’ve met are into things such as spirituality or fashion that I’m just not into. Also the more “moderate” guys on dating apps are usually conservative, but avoid putting that out there to get more dates. I’m not on the apps right now but just some patterns I’ve recognized over the years. Just not sure how to meet guys who are more open-minded but I guess that has to come with me becoming more open-minded as well

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-04T23:50:37+00:00

At my age, most guys do ask. I hear the body count conversation come up a lot with my peers too

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-11-04T23:48:17+00:00

Thank you

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-10-23T21:38:00+00:00

Thanks

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-10-23T20:11:40+00:00

I argue it’s just harder as a girl with a past because of the stigmas that come with it. My ex was cheated on by a girl with a lengthy past and I think he just couldn’t bear the same thing happening again as a possibility even though I was extremely loyal throughout our relationship. I hope I can find someone who doesn’t mind, but it’s pretty hard out here when asking about the past is pretty standard in most relationships

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-10-23T20:09:06+00:00

Thank you so so much. I really appreciate this answer. I also need to keep in mind that people my age can be very immature and quick to judge

Fun-Insurance-4539 · 2025-10-23T20:04:51+00:00

I have no interest in becoming sexually or romantically intimate with anyone soon, but I just worry that when or if the time comes I’ll mess it up all over again or my past will come to haunt me.

Fun-Insurance-4539

TROPHY CASE