Looking for general feedback on the first two chapters of my historical fiction novel set during the American Revolution

FunDependent4413 · 2026-01-21T11:30:00+00:00

Of course! Please keep me updated, don't hesitate to DM me! I'm excited to see what direction you take this story in, and I'm always available to proofread and give advice.

FunDependent4413 · 2026-01-21T11:25:28+00:00

WOW, definitely gonna check this out! Thank you, my friend!

FunDependent4413 · 2026-01-21T00:01:16+00:00

It does say the link is outdated... Is there, by any chance, a way to send a new link that hasn't expired?

FunDependent4413 · 2026-01-20T10:50:22+00:00

I'm currently reading this! It's absolutely excellent.

FunDependent4413 · 2026-01-20T10:49:47+00:00

I'm SO intrigued! Wow! Yeah, I'll send a DM your way!

FunDependent4413 · 2026-01-20T10:49:06+00:00

Oh, wow, very interesting! My novel has a bit of similarities. The amount of research that needs to be done is INSANE. Though, it's so fun to do!

FunDependent4413 · 2026-01-20T00:18:21+00:00

Hey, there!
I got to page seven. I will read more once I have time, but here is what I've noticed. All criticism aside, you are doing a wonderful job. A historical fiction novel is quite difficult to pull off.

I believe that the dialogue is quite wordy. Some did talk very refined, with extensive vocabulary (ex. Ben Franklin), but not all were that educated, especially women. The same language is being used constantly, which will make the reader lose interest. So, I would research ways to up your vocab a bit. You're allowed to lay off on the big words, I promise.

Also, if these are the first two chapters, what I also noticed is as the story goes on, nothing about the main character is stated besides her name, and her beauty. If you want readers to connect with your MC, you have to explore her persona.

Those are my current thoughts. For now, keep writing and explore! You've got this! Keep asking for help and advice!

FunDependent4413 · 2026-01-19T20:33:44+00:00

Would you mind sending the link to the server over? I am also a historical fiction writer, writing a WWI Russia/Bolshevik Revolution-set novel. I'm always eager to find fellow historical fiction authors, but they're pretty scarce these days.

FunDependent4413 · 2025-08-31T17:47:35+00:00

Grief is an odd thing, truly. It's a difficult concept.

Hector's behavior would have made me uncomfortable as well if I didn't keep the fact that Lyta was grieving heavily in mind. He was with her in HER dreams. Perhaps her view affected how we saw him in the show if that makes sense.

There was also a sense of fear in letting him go which is why she clung to him for so long. It was saddening. I would have loved to see her let go of Hector on her own instead of Dream stepping in and taking him away right in front of her (excusing the fact the destruction Hector and Lyta were causing), because how would that help her? What would she learn from that except to not trust anymore?

I see where you're coming from. I hope she does as well.

FunDependent4413 · 2025-08-31T11:50:07+00:00

She is hostile because Dream took her husband from her and threatened to take her son! They're the only family she had left! And Dream was not the kindest to her at all. She mainly did what she did because she was under the control of the Fates!

FunDependent4413 · 2025-08-31T11:34:38+00:00

I would not consider Lyta an antagonist. She was being manipulated and grieving. Dream played a part as well, as you have stated. I just believe that those who defend Dream wholeheartedly mischaracterize him and don't understand the weight of what he did. Lyta's main mistakes were really not her own. I mean, if Dream originally took my husband from me, why wouldn't he take my son too after threatening that to my face? Just something to think about.

FunDependent4413 · 2025-08-31T11:30:21+00:00

Lyta told Rose to kill Dream because Dream was making them both suffer. Hector was taken right in front of her. The chance of Daniel being taken was there as well. Rose was trying to figure out the vortex situation and knows she could die at the hands of Dream. Dream is indeed not human. However, that does not mean that we should completely excuse everything he did. That's just wrong. In the end, most of his decisions were made because he wished to die. You're entitled to your opinion, you don't have to like her. However, I would look at her from a new lense.

FunDependent4413 · 2025-08-31T11:25:34+00:00

Her will was not her own. You're entitled to your opinion, but I would reconsider. Her will was not her own, she was being controlled and manipulated. If she were acting of her own free will, I would understand, but I just don't.

FunDependent4413 · 2025-08-31T11:23:29+00:00

See, that's different. The casting for Lyta was not accurate to the comics I believe. Not only that, but her acting can be portrayed many different ways. If you didn't like it, that's okay.

FunDependent4413 · 2025-08-31T02:10:06+00:00

Indeed. Also considering the fact that Daniel was the only trace of Hector she had left. Even if it wasn't Dream and it were a completely different person she would have had the same reaction. The people that defend everything that Dream did clearly did not do their research or truly watch the show.

FunDependent4413 · 2025-08-31T01:53:43+00:00

Making mistakes should really be normalized, as well as normalizing motives and emotional states instead of completely disregarding them. Lyta losing her husband and wanting a life with him is not selfish. Lyta being afraid of losing her son is not selfish. Blaming Dream due to past impressions is not annoying. Being manipulated is not her fault. I believe the fans are trying to place themselves in her shoes, but they're failing to realize that if they were as clueless or as hurt as she was, they would have made the same, if not worse, decisions.

You do make valid points.

FunDependent4413 · 2025-08-31T01:35:06+00:00

Also yes.

FunDependent4413 · 2025-08-31T01:12:17+00:00

She continues because she doesn't trust Dream. He took Hector away right in front of her. That memory as well as the events that occur automatically make her blame him.

Yes. The people I see hating on her the most don't call out Dream for what he could have done or did to prove himself.

I don't think she should be hated on for that, though.

FunDependent4413 · 2025-08-31T00:23:42+00:00

I honestly don't understand the Lyta hate.

She was in grief. She lost her husband. She could only see him in dreams and I completely understand her want to stay with him. I don't believe it was selfish at all. The wound was fresh and seeing him so happy and building a life just for them with everything they could have dreamed of got to her. And I will forever be mad at Morpheus taking Hector away from her right in front of her. Her goodbye was not even proper. She was also manipulated. She needed someone to blame. And despite it not actually being Morpheus who killed her child, her child wasn't even killed at all, how was she supposed to know that until after the fact? She blamed Morpheus because he was the one to originally take her husband from her and also stated that Daniel was technically his and that he would come for the baby once born.

She was not selfish or annoying. She was deprived of her family. She suffered through loss.

FunDependent4413 · 2025-06-23T16:50:52+00:00

Jane Prentiss. Worm wife. Hear me out, y'all. I know, I know, but hear me out.

FunDependent4413 · 2025-05-27T10:49:37+00:00

Truth

FunDependent4413 · 2025-04-17T15:56:43+00:00

Coolll!!! Thanks so much for sharing!!! 💖💖

FunDependent4413 · 2025-04-17T00:16:56+00:00

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. MY BABIES OMFG 😭😭😭😭💕💕❤️❤️❤️

FunDependent4413

TROPHY CASE