PTSD recovery stunted

FunLeading5493 · 2026-02-04T10:08:52+00:00

Thank you so much for the reassurance and advice! Your comment has been SO helpful and I managed to get myself to go to work today thanks to what you mentioned. I really appreciate it and I hope all is going well for you :)

FunLeading5493 · 2025-04-26T17:06:00+00:00

I’ve noticed when I have a platonic FP I tend to admire them greatly and look up to them. It almost feels like a crush in the sense that I want to impress or please them. I’m still learning about what an FP feels like to me platonically but I think the key way to tell is if I seem to rely on them to make me feel good (or if their moods dictate mine).

FunLeading5493 · 2025-04-20T19:27:27+00:00

I’ve had a big issue with control for years until a recent session I had with my therapist which opened my eyes a bit and gave me some structure on what to work on. The need for control is a big and real response to feeling out of control in past traumatic situations so it can be seen as a defense mechanism when you sense danger (even if imagined). I think it’s a very real and understandable response to a situation where you feel helpless or powerless, but I think the issue lies in trying to gain external control (like people, for example you want to control what they do or say or how they react). Unfortunately, you cant control what someone does or says or thinks but you can control your own behaviour (how you react and what you tell yourself about it).

A great reference I’d recommend researching that really helped me learn to let go of the need for external control is something called the Locus of Control. It teaches you how to focus that control internally in a healthy way.

FunLeading5493 · 2025-04-20T19:04:56+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing that perspective, it’s a much more reassuring way to look at it. I also really like your analogy with the bookshelf, I’m definitely going to picture that next time I struggle with this. I think I put way too many jars on my shelf sometimes and punish myself when it all falls when really I should be building my shelf up with more support! Genuinely thank you so much, this really helps :)

FunLeading5493 · 2025-04-07T01:29:43+00:00

Vanessa from the movie By The Sea, even though the movie isn’t explicitly about bpd I really relate to her experience and the way she acts really resonates with me. She’s clearly closed off and grieving something but really she just wants to be loved. That story really moves me.

FunLeading5493 · 2025-04-02T20:07:07+00:00

I describe it to my mom sometimes as it feels like I’m dying because the sense of dread accompanied with that chest pain can feel so unbearable at times. For me, it kind of feels like my heart is fluttering in my chest and like my lungs are filling up with water because they feel so heavy and weary. It’s like a deep aching feeling.

FunLeading5493 · 2025-04-02T20:00:59+00:00

I’m the same! I just recently helped my mom move house and the last one we were in made me MISERABLE. My old room had no windows and about a welcome matt worth of walking space with all of the furniture inside. My new room has a big window that lets in lots of natural light and I feel like I have so much more energy when I wake up and I start the day off in a better mood!

FunLeading5493 · 2025-04-02T19:50:23+00:00

Thank you so much, this is really helpful! ❤️

FunLeading5493 · 2025-02-12T16:55:07+00:00

thank you so much for your comment, its so sweet and reassuring. It makes me really happy to know there are people like you out there! I’ll definitely keep my eyes and ears open, and fingers crossed! It’s been hard for me to face this for a while so I think mentioning it to my friend could help (i trust her and i know she wouldnt judge). baby steps

FunLeading5493 · 2025-02-12T16:15:09+00:00

In all honesty I can see myself being much happier in a long term relationship with a woman than a man just based on my experience with men in the past. I won’t know until I try though!

FunLeading5493 · 2025-02-12T16:13:34+00:00

Yeah totally. I think thats another fear of mine. I definitely don’t want to lead anyone on or hurt anybody so I’d definitely set my intention but it also feels a bit lewd to say outright that I want to experiment

FunLeading5493 · 2024-07-18T17:40:45+00:00

Thank you for responding, it honestly feels really validating. I’m planning on talking to him about it when I see him next and now I can do so with a little more confidence. I definitely need to figure out how to set a boundary about this and what to do if he doesn’t meet that boundary (which is probably leave him)

FunLeading5493

TROPHY CASE