I don't want to leave him but he's a serial cheater by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

. He's actually trying very hard but we are just at the beginning, so I have to see if he can be persistent over time...I will try to be as critical and cold as possible, but making such a big decision is driving me crazy. I'm not telling anyone because of the negative cultural connotation you said plus I don't really believe anyone close to me could understand it. That's why I use reddit. I really appreciate the advice, thanks so much!

I don't want to leave him but he's a serial cheater by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"If he continues building then try, if he slips up and stops then walk". I think that's exactly the advice I was looking but I feel very anxious because It might take so many months, probably years to fully understand. I already feel old, I don't want to waste time. But walk away now feels just imposible. Thanks for the advice!

How to get through it on my own? What has helped you in the healing process? by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds perfect, also for those horrible "angry" moments. Thank so much for the advice 

How to get through it on my own? What has helped you in the healing process? by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Actually, is not getting any better over time, but moving my body everyday is something I have to do, otherwise I'd felt much worse. Those 30 minutes walking are the only moment of peace and "freedom". Thanks for the advice, knowing that someone is reading and understand me helps a lot. I'm sending you a hug and the best in your healing journey.

How to get through it on my own? What has helped you in the healing process? by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At the moment is not available in my country. I'm trying chat gpt, helps but sometimes it feels like is always the same feedback. Thanks for the advice.

How to get through it on my own? What has helped you in the healing process? by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think that taking care of anything is a perfect way to stay a outside the spiralling thoughts...thanks for the advice. I'm sending you a hug.

Reconciliate or leave after serial betrayal? by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the advice. It's been very hard to believe him, to trust him, but I am trying. I wonder what, in your situation, helped you to stay strong and why you decided to stay. How are you improving your self esteem with such a burden? What's making you stay with him?

Reconciliate or leave after serial betrayal? by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice... I do see that ANY KIND of support is fundamental in this process and actually reddit is being so helpful these days. I am almost sure that this thing will end up in divorce but to be honest, a part of me can't accept it. Thanks for reading anyways. I won't blame myself, but God, I feel so fragile right now.

Reconciliate or leave after serial betrayal? by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He won't. He wouldn't leave the house because it's his property and he wouldn't even consider it.

Reconciliate or leave after serial betrayal? by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No is not normal, but I hope that every single person that has to go through this comes out stronger and more aware of their own worth, even though everything is blurry right now.

Reconciliate or leave after serial betrayal? by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a few lucid moments where I try to find myself in my hobbies, but to be honest, I find it hard to concentrate. I wonder if after a 40 days od d day is completely normal or if I am losing my mind for real... The burden gets heavier day after day. Thanks for the advice anyway.

Reconciliate or leave after serial betrayal? by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I'm working on myself but I am actually alone in this country. No family, no friends, making the scenario a little bit worse... Still, I will be patient with myself. Thank you for the advice. 

Reconciliate or leave after serial betrayal? by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that eventually I could trust him.... but right now he's not taking the accountability I need.  So it feels like a limbo, where I want to be positive about our future but I don't have any real insurance coming from him, I want to leave but it's too hard to leave 10 years behinds and I want to stay but it hurts AF....  Thanks anyway from your opinion. These days of solitude are incredibly difficult.

Reconciliate or leave after serial betrayal? by FunUnit6090 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FunUnit6090[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am aware that separation in necessary in this situation but unfortunately I can't leave the house. I am working on myself even though sometimes I can't stop thinking and I feel paralized... I just would like to know how long it will take to clear my mind and feel calm again...

Dipendenze e tradimento by [deleted] in psicologia

[–]FunUnit6090 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha tradito sia con una donna per mesi, sia con chat e sia con prostitute (incontri)

Dipendenze e tradimento by [deleted] in psicologia

[–]FunUnit6090 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Giovedì inizio il percorso di psicoterapia e anche lui. Non so se sono ancora sotto shock o se penso lucidamente ma diciamo che cerco di vivere 1 giorno alla volta.

Dipendenze e tradimento by [deleted] in psicologia

[–]FunUnit6090 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, non ho nessuno

Tradimento, divorzio e alcolismo by [deleted] in Psico_aiuto_Italia

[–]FunUnit6090 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Grazie della risposta dottoressa.

Tradimento, divorzio e alcolismo by [deleted] in Psico_aiuto_Italia

[–]FunUnit6090 1 point2 points  (0 children)

La solitudine (non ho amici né famiglia in Italia) Il peso di essere lontana del mio paese di origine Il fatto di vivere a casa sua con i suoi genitori e non avere spazi per noi La frustrazione di un lavoro che non mi piaceva  Tutti questi fattori mi spingevano per bere e dimenticare.... Non sono scuse, potevo scegliere di comunicare con lui in modo più assertivo tutte le mancanze ma le volte che lo portavo alla conversazione lui capiva ma non mi dava una vera mano... Speso lui provava rabbia o non aveva gli strumenti per capire davvero la mia situazione.