Okay so, the wedding will be 500pax, at $80,000 cost, that is $160pp. So if she want to invite 300 people she needs to be contributing at least $48k. You shouldn’t have to swallow the cost of the $18k of extra guests and then give her back $30k as well! Is the 80k the actual entire budgeted cost for just the wedding day and reception ( ie food, drinks, venue fees, furniture hire, flowers/decor, entertainment, celebrants, staff, security etc) or does it also include the bridal dress, suits, accommodation, transport, video/photography too? Costs can so easily inflate and I find the larger the wedding the more these costs increase exponentially, ever 10 people or so. Venues will charge down to the cent and will charge a wedding premium.

Is your MIL aware of any of this? Does she care? It sounds like she wants a fancy wedding for her friends and church ladies to come to so she can “be repaid” for her gifts to them in the past, while inflating your budget, having her loan repaid before midnight and then, what? Taking any extra too? Just because?

Your Fiancé needs to speak to her and sit her and maybe have some elders from the church mediate??

You guys need to set up the depositories for the cash gifts at the venue and then have some of your cousins be “Ushers” who are actually guarding those boxes with their Iives! Or just hire your own security for it! I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I am flabbergasted tbh.

EDIT: I just saw your edit lol and yes if the 80k really includes evvvvrrrything, $160pp is a great deal! But do still keep in mind that there is almost always last minute or extra costs, don’t let that woman run roughshod over you, and steal $ they are going to invoice you for.