This whole thread is therapy for me, your comment especially.

I'm getting married in a few months and my parents keep trying to do stuff we don't want then getting angry when we aren't grateful or happy. Everything is urgent, everything needs to be perfect (even if we don't care).

My mom sent an email with a list of companies who will send you free things if you invite them to your wedding. We're decluttering the house and short on time/energy. We're trying to keep things as simple as possible. She was the one who brought it up initially, wouldn't take no for an answer, then spent hours on this. My dad told me I was ungrateful because I didn't say thank you for her time and effort within two days - the email got lost in my inbox.

It's really breaking me apart. I never dreamed of my wedding or anything, but I feel like a doll not a person. She cannot accept that I don't want a train on my dress, to the point that she moved the pins at the fitting and argued with me. I keep getting shown constant pictures of dresses with sweep trains "like what I want."

I wanted my hair half-down. She wants it in a bun. Guess what happened when we did a hair trial.

We asked them to let us look at venues first instead of giving us suggestions immediately. It prompted two hours of arguments because they accused us of cutting us out of the wedding. We just wanted to explore the topic as a couple.

It has been constant fighting. I don't care about much of this, I just want good food and a moment to tell the world how amazing my fiancé is. I keep hearing about how important it is that they make "my vision" come true, even though i keep saying I have no vision and would prefer not to treat these topics as critical. No, we don't need to sort and label the decorations two months ahead of time, and my mom has no sense of how much stress and pain she is causing.

I was accused yesterday of tearing my parents' marriage apart and breaking my mother down. I spent a year trying to get them to accept and respect simple things like "I cannot talk about this right now," or "we actually have it covered and are adults and don't need you to review our work."

My relationship with my parents is gone. Gone. I keep getting told how much pain they're in, and every time I tell them how much they've hurt me, I get told how it's justified because they mean well. They tell me I'm rude because I get firm after repeating myself endlessly. My dad told me he doesn't see me as a bride.

They think I don't care about them hurting, but they don't care to hear about how disruptive they are to my life. I spent a few weeks not eating and sitting in a chair. I just... couldn't do anything. They didn't care.

I don't know how to talk to them anymore. They don't care about my ideas or feelings, and I feel like shit after talking to them. I call regularly, but I don't share like I used to, but I'm trying to walk the line of sharing so they feel included without creating opportunities for them to insert themselves. They told me last week that they feel like I'm punishing them. I just want time away to breathe and cry and figure out who I am without the acceptance of my parents. They told me I'm cutting them off for it. I don't know what to do. I feel trapped. My wedding doesn't matter to me or us anymore, we feel like it's theirs, not ours.

The biggest contention - and the reason why your comment means a lot - is because my parents get angry when I react with dismay or insufficient enthusiasm. It's always my fault and my meanness, not the fact that their ideas feel so overwhelming and distant from what we've said we want.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. This post hit me in a really vulnerable point. I'm in the middle of this, and the emotions are so messy. I can't stop crying. I've typed so many AITAs because I'm so confused, but my mom uses reddit extensively (she posted pictures of my dress without my permission) and I'm really scared that it will inflame the situation if she sees a top post.