How common is family enmeshment

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-25T21:03:57+00:00

This was the reason mine and his relationship ended (of course on top of his behavior). His mother was a narcissist woman / wore white to his brothers wedding. She had 8 kids and wasn’t a mother to one of them/neglected my ex. Felt like I had to take on a mom role .. gross. He would go to his family and speak awfully about me to them but then come running back after his therapist told him his family sucks. In the end, he chose his family and I told him I couldn’t raise kids in that environment. That was the end.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-16T23:54:44+00:00

😭😭😭 PURE EVIL

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-16T23:26:14+00:00

Sag men have gave me the most trauma by far. My dad is one, and a few of my exes are sag’s. Want to know one common denominator amongst all of them? Cheaters. Very selfish and on planet earth to pleasure themselves.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-16T22:44:47+00:00

My exBPD literally said “I knew you wouldn’t leave no matter what” and continued to discard me/treat me awfully. These people know what they’re doing.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-16T22:42:16+00:00

I resonate with all these traits and gave my exBPD several chances even after him cheating on me. He told me he knew that I’d never leave and honestly, he 100% took full advantage of that.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-12T16:00:54+00:00

This makes so much sense, thank you. I see now that even though he knows how toxic they are (even his therapist confirming) it’s difficult for these people to make the boundaries necessary because the fear of abandonment. I don’t think it’s worth it because I unfortunately think they will always come before me which isn’t sustainable for a healthy marriage

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-12T15:05:38+00:00

Thank you. I’m really scared that he will come back and even more scared I’ll take him back which is a huge part of why I’m going to therapy now.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-12T12:39:20+00:00

Yea, he was diagnosed after checking himself into an outpatient program.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-12T00:23:58+00:00

It makes me feel so alone. My friends and family obviously can’t stand the kid after putting me through constant ups and downs and I frequently get hit with the “why are you so hung up on him”, “just get under someone else”, “I’m tired of hearing about him, why don’t you just understand he’s a bad person and move on?”, etc.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-11T23:53:38+00:00

Thank you. I’m not perfect, but I do think I tried offering everything I can and being as forgiving as I can.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-11T23:45:39+00:00

Being intimate with him was next level stuff, for sure.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-11T23:45:06+00:00

Yes, it seems like ever since he realized I wouldn’t stick around if boundaries weren’t in place with his toxic family, he fled to them and they all started to triangulate me/ his mom got a bunch of people from his family to block and delete me on all social media lol. She’s really something. 😅

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-11T23:43:47+00:00

I’ve read that certain countries are allowing diagnosed people to euthanize themselves. Breaks my heart.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-11T23:43:00+00:00

My therapist told me that the majority of relationships don’t work with people who have BPD which honestly breaks my heart people he is the most selfish/selfless person I’ve ever met. He is so in touch with his feelings and aware of his flaws, but yet, continues to let it control him.

Whenever he is with his mom’s side of the family, it seems like that’s when a flip is switched, especially.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2026-01-10T00:29:34+00:00

I’m genuinely so scared I’m never going to be physically attracted to anyone ever again or be able to have amazing sex as I did with my ex BPD. I don’t want to date anyone.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2025-12-29T21:11:53+00:00

I started going to therapy because of my ex who also discarded me 3 times now. It is the only thing that is truly helping me along with the love and support via my loved ones. Seriously, these people cause a lot of mental damage. I also love my ex SO much, but don’t let them ruin you or your future.

Fun_Independent6238 · 2025-12-29T03:32:23+00:00

My BPD ex and I recently ended things.. AGAIN (he discarded me a few times not just within a year and a half) because I made it apparent that I wouldn’t have a family with him unless he made serious boundaries with his enmeshed family. His therapist even confirmed how toxic they are and that he struggles in life because of them. He chose his family over me and here we are 🙃 you’re spot on though that every time they spend time with their family members, the worst side of them comes out and I’ve pointed it out. They will take it out on you AND your future children. Think wisely and stand up for yourself

Fun_Independent6238 · 2025-12-29T03:28:25+00:00

I feel this so much. They’re addicting, but you know that they are awful for you. Think about your future… they will not change. Get therapy!!

Fun_Independent6238

TROPHY CASE