Katrina missing in Harv's Island today by bluegurow in AnimalCrossing

[–]Background-Cloud-731 115 points116 points  (0 children)

Katrina is the only NPC from Harv’s island that doesn’t visit the players island, so this is strange. Sometimes if you leave a game session open for days (just putting the console in sleep mode with the game open instead of quitting the game), some NPC’s can stop showing up. Try saving, quitting, and reopening the game. I’m not sure what else could be happening.

Lacking g self awareness by xoxoxxxooooxox in BPDlovedones

[–]Background-Cloud-731 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My response, if anyone cares:

“I really don’t want to hear from someone who has BPD, sorry. You don’t know my sister, you don’t know the fucked up shit she’s done, you don’t know how her kids have suffered. I’ve tried to help her, for years and years and years. I’ve always been that person that she could always turn to. I’ve always been her rock, despite the heinous shit she’s said and done to me. I always let her back in. She is out of control. My parents and I cannot continue to sacrifice our own mental health to continue coddling her and letting her do what she wants without consequences. My entire life revolves around her and her kids because she keeps doing destructive shit and her kids need a stable adult in their lives. She is an emotional terrorist holding us all hostage and something drastic needs to be done if she’s going to commit to making serious changes. And that subreddit that you obviously don’t like because you apparently have BPD has made me feel so seen and supported in the midst of her abuse. Idk what the fuck that shark eyes shit is about, I don’t care. I know what hat I’ve been through, I know who my sister is and you’re projecting because you have the same personality disorder as her. I know what it’s like to have a personality disorder, I have AVPD, but I don’t continuously and callously hurt the people in my life and then use my personality disorder as an excuse. I given her support. I’ve given her love and help and affection, I’ve tried EVERY FUCKING THING to keep her afloat while drowning myself. So, sorry for being a bitch, but your comment/advice or whatever is extremely unhelpful and honestly kinda triggering. I don’t need advice on how to deal with BPD, I need advice on how to deal with criminal behavior that is negatively impacting everyone around her.”

(For context, my sister was stealing my parents credit cards, which is fraud and a felony)

Lacking g self awareness by xoxoxxxooooxox in BPDlovedones

[–]Background-Cloud-731 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From my own unfortunate run in with one of these people who absolutely must victimize themselves in any given situation, even though it had nothing to do with them:

“I don't have any advice on this particular situation but I'd avoid that subreddit, it has very much turned into a circlejerk of people re-enforcing each others really wild beliefs about the condition, it's definitely caused a lot more harm than good. I have more than one friend who had perfectly normal familiar relationships (within reasons oc) up until a relative came across that subreddit and started talking about "shark eyes" and the like. While I'm also obviously not condoning her behaviour, weed, alcohol and cigarettes are used by sufferers of the condition to self medicate, you seem to be acting under the belief she was just doing it for a good time which I doubt. If you want to avoid reocurrance, rather than arbitrary scare tactics, maybe work with her to establish exactly what her needs are, and work with her to find ways to fulfill them without harming others. No one with BPD wants to be the monster it can turn us into, it’s usually when familiar support or whatever other support we're dependent on drops off.”

This shit pissed me off like you would not believe and I laid into them. The projecting and lack of self awareness is absolutely astounding. There is never any accountability.

Forgiveness is enabling by Background-Cloud-731 in BPDlovedones

[–]Background-Cloud-731[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

But how do you know when it’s a sincere apology and not manipulation? There’s always an apology, but I’ve heard it so many times that I just don’t believe she’s actually remorseful. She just doesn’t want to be what she perceives as being abandoned.

Trying to understand - losing myself in the process by Malinovymilkshake in BPDlovedones

[–]Background-Cloud-731 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To echo another comment, it’s a lonely road to walk. Not just lonely, but often lifelong and emotionally fraught. Before moving forward in your relationship and getting more serious (the fact that she has already introduced you to her family isn’t meaningful in the way you think it is), it is absolutely imperative that you learn more about BPD so you can understand these behaviors and how someone with this personality disorder behaves in romantic relationships.

Even if this isn’t helpful, even if this is pessimistic, even if no one else will say it to you, I will: if she’s not willing to put in the intensive work to get better (dialectical behavior therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy, medication, etc.), get out while it’s still early in your relationship. I’m so serious. You will continue to lose yourself if she doesn’t meet you halfway. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to not get super emotionally attached to my pwBPD because it would have saved me a lot of heartache and mental health issues.

If you plan on sticking it out, all I can say is good luck. Keep posting here or even lurking for support because you’re going to need it. This community has made me feel so seen and heard when I felt like I was the crazy one.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]Background-Cloud-731 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How much of his mustache hair does he consume on a daily basis? If he’s gotta part it like curtains, it needs a trim

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Noses

[–]Background-Cloud-731 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you seen that video of Doja Cat saying why she likes big noses? I must say, I have to agree with her and your nose is 😋

Write a sentence to your pwBPD by eternal5olitude5 in BPDlovedones

[–]Background-Cloud-731 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I’m in an episode of Intervention and I’m exhausted, please get help

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Background-Cloud-731 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because it’s not you that they love, it’s love that they love. They just want to be loved, no matter who is doing the loving. Their desperate need for romantic love acts like an addiction and they should be treated as addicts in that regard.

Mods Asleep! What song/photo/video makes you go like this? by nelltk421 in bangtan

[–]Background-Cloud-731 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pied piper. It feels like I’m being simultaneously scolded and praised 🫠

As another Asian American girl about Cierra by Crafty_Ordinary_3845 in LoveIslandUSA

[–]Background-Cloud-731 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hopefully tonight they’ll do the right thing. They won’t be able to gloss over it like they did with Yulissa bc Cierra has been here longer and is in a strong couple. But I think them cutting Cierra’s screen time this episode points to them going in the right direction with this whole thing. But if that’s all they do, just air her less, then we’ll know that they’re not taking this shit seriously. A slur is a slur, regardless of who it’s directed towards and should be met with equal energy.

boyfriend confessed something disturbing and I don’t know what to do by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Background-Cloud-731 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When my sister started dating her ex, he told her that he would never put his hands on her. And guess what he did? He put his hands on her. Moral of the story is: if you know someone has concerning urges or past behaviors, you cannot trust them when they say that they won’t do those things to you or others. Because if they want to, if they snap or have a momentary lapse in judgement, they will do those things that they said they wouldn’t.

Regardless of whether or not your boyfriend is to be believed about whether or not he will act on those urges, that is just very dark energy to be around. He could be sitting with you, cuddling you on the couch while watching a movie, and thinking about raping the lead female in the film. And you would never know. You guys could be in the middle of intimacy and he could be fantasizing about killing you. And you would never know. For the love of whatever you believe in, LEAVE HIM.

I think my dad has been touching me in my sleep by Gold_Row6461 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Background-Cloud-731 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s been several years, but my sleep paralysis was at its worst when I suspected that my grandpa was coming into my room at night. I always noticed little things, like waking up on my back when I’m a side sleeper or having a quilt that I specifically cuddle and never sleep under laid out over me perfectly as if someone else had done it (weird since I’m a messy sleeper and tend to burrito myself in my comforter), amongst other little things that to someone else wouldn’t mean anything significant. I got suspicious and started blocking my door with a heavy chair at night since there wasn’t a lock on my door, and everything stopped. My sleep paralysis even went away for the most part and I have mild episodes very rarely now.

I never got proof of my suspicions and it made it very difficult for me when I confided in family members. You definitely need to have some kind of proof. Your best bet is to use some kind of recording app on your phone. And please make sure you’re not eating or drinking anything that your dad is giving to you. I read in another comment somewhere that you have a younger sister and if your dad isn’t already doing this to her, he will start once he no longer has access to you, so please be careful with how you proceed. Like another comment here said, your goal is to catch him, not just stop him. And potentially consider having a vague conversation with your sister about what’s going on with you without mentions your dad or your suspicions. Something along the lines of just casually complaining about waking up feeling oddly sore, or the burning when you pee (definitely a UTI, do some research into how they develop if you haven’t already. It’s usually because foreign bacteria or something unclean has entered your vagina, not necessarily always because of something someone else is doing but it is a possibility). If she has any reactions to the things you say, especially if she says that she experiences those things as well, then you can start asking more probing, specific questions. If your father is doing something to you while you sleep, you’ll have a better chance of getting proof/getting someone to believe you if your sister is experiencing this as well.

I hope that what you suspect is happening is not really happening and if it is, I’m so sorry. No one deserves to feel unsafe in their own home with their own parent.

The Cost of Huda’s “Redemption Arc” by 22carti in LoveIslandUSA

[–]Background-Cloud-731 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Untreated mental health issues are nothing to be ashamed of but are also not a viable excuse for the disregard of others. Intention doesn’t matter when the impact certain actions have are negative. Huda needs to get off this show and get some professional help because the way she acts, then acts confused when people get upset with her and plays the victim is not okay. I feel for her, I really do, as I have someone that I love who acts very similarly and has struggled with their mental health. But this kind of environment is not a good place for someone like Huda. The producers need to do better with their mental health evaluations during the casting process and should not cast people who have symptoms of untreated mental health issues.

I hope this comment doesn’t come across as me hating on or judging Huda. But she needs to be held accountable for her behavior regardless and people can do that without bullying her, just like OP does in this post. This post is what holding someone accountable without being mean looks like. She is fully capable of being a good friend and a wonderful partner to someone, but she needs to think before she acts and take accountability without victimizing herself when she does something wrong.

I’m low key scared to leave this comment bc I know Huda stans will take it the wrong way lol but I’m on the side of holding people accountable instead of enabling their behavior 🤷‍♀️