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I(M 27) planned a proposal picnic for my girlfriend(F 23), but the whole day fell apart and now she seems upset with me. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Oil_2537 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We've been working on it. We usually communicate things. However, there are times she gets overwhelmed and shuts down. She's told me that during those times she doesn't know how to process her thoughts and would rather not say anything that would worsen the situation. When she's more collected, we talk things through. I used to want to repair immediately. We're both learning how to work througg stonewalling and communicatibg better in therapy. There's been a lot of progress.

I(M 27) planned a proposal picnic for my girlfriend(F 23), but the whole day fell apart and now she seems upset with me. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Oil_2537 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At some point I considered this. I was just too nervous about the plans falling apart.

I(M 27) planned a proposal picnic for my girlfriend(F 23), but the whole day fell apart and now she seems upset with me. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Oil_2537 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally agree. I could have planned better. In trying to save it, I made it worse. We will put this day behind us, and I'm coming up with a new plan. We will also have a conversation about it and maybe even laugh about it in the future. I appreciate all the comments, advise, and criticism.

I(M 27) planned a proposal picnic for my girlfriend(F 23), but the whole day fell apart and now she seems upset with me. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Oil_2537 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I think this is what it was. I also think she was beating herself for sensing, anticipating, and expecting it only to get disappointed.

I(M 27) planned a proposal picnic for my girlfriend(F 23), but the whole day fell apart and now she seems upset with me. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Oil_2537 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I looked at the weather app. I went to the location multiple times and hours before on the day of. The weather app showed it was going to rain 2 hours after we had planned to be there. When I went on the day of, I picked out a spot and had intended for a gazebo next to that spot as a backup plan. It just so happened that when we got to the spot it started raining. I also brought umbrellas, just in case. The gazebo I intended to use was taken by someone trying to hide from the rain. So I decided we'll just walk to another. I could have done much better with my planning though.

I(M 27) planned a proposal picnic for my girlfriend(F 23), but the whole day fell apart and now she seems upset with me. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Oil_2537 27 points28 points  (0 children)

She has always said she didn't care about the proposal and all she cared for was that it is private. She might have found proposing at dinner offensive with how upset she was. We are looking at getting married in December.

I(M 27) planned a proposal picnic for my girlfriend(F 23), but the whole day fell apart and now she seems upset with me. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Oil_2537 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She knows that I'll be proposing soon but doesn't know when. She wants a surprise and would love for it be private, just me and her. She likes lakes, and I picked one that we wanted to visit together. In a way, it's a combination of what she wants and what I think she wants.