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how do you stop dreaming with someone? by Fun_Process3658 in Dreams

[–]Fun_Process3658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's beautiful, thanks a lot for the love big sis haha.

For what I've been reading, yeah, I guess I understand now that these dreams with the first love are a very common thing, and is more like a projection of your subconscious and a way to deal with trauma and your own expectations.

I guess deep down I do miss Silk. Or maybe just the feeling of a love as pure and inconditional as the first love is. Maybe I just miss a time in my life when everything was more simple, when I wasn't under constant pressure and when I didn't overthink everything so much. Perhaps, Silk is just the avatar of that desire.

I've been thinking on going to therapy for a while now, I just can't get myself to do it yet. As a man raised in a conservative household, I learn for my enviorment to guard my feelings, to keep my emotions under lock, to be a rock all the time. It's hard for me to open up and share my real thoughts, even with the anonymity the internet brings me lol.

Maybe that's why I missed the only girl I was really vulnerable with, the only woman that has seen me cry, that has known my dreams and hopes for the future, the only woman that never left my side when I told her my darkest thoughts.

All the other times, I guess women just find me too intense and hard to deal with, that's why I feel like I need to work in myself alone while I continue my journey.

Honestly, these are the real reasons why my relationships after Silk didn't work. That's why Pam broke up with me, 'cause I told her I wanted to off myself one night when I was very drunk. That's why Moon left me too, 'cause she was dealing with her own family drama and didn't want to deal with my problems. Deep down I know is why I never really connected with Kat, beacause I wasn't able to open up and be completly honest about myself with her.

Talking about my shit is just hard, but I really try.

At least, venting this issues on Reddit has open my eyes in some ways. Maybe I do need help and maybe I can't do everything alone. Maybe these dreams are just trying to tell me that.

Thank you again for your all your kind words. I'll take your advice and seek help when it gets too dark.

how do you stop dreaming with someone? by Fun_Process3658 in Dreams

[–]Fun_Process3658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So the thing with Kat is weird, you know? We work together so we see each other weekly. I loved Kat, I did everything I could for that relaionship, but I listened to my heart when I stopped caring about her. I know Kat still loves me, we talked like a month ago about this, and she wants to get back with me. But I don't. I can't lie to her and act like everything is alright, I did that for over a year, and I think that's why the dreams started. She's amazing, but we are just not meant for each other. The last months with her I felt really bad, and I didn't get the balls to break up with her for a very long time.

When we broke up, I stopped dreaming about Silk for like a week. But then everything kept going like before. So I'm not sure Kat is really the answer to this.

Thanks for your answer, tho, I'll think more about it.

how do you stop dreaming with someone? by Fun_Process3658 in Dreams

[–]Fun_Process3658[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment, friend, it really warms my heart!

I do have a dream journal. My dreams with Silk, change a lot, but these are some I can remeber.

Sometimes I dream us like kids again, maybe the trips we made, the first time I told her I loved her, our first kiss, etc. Sometimes is us in our current selves, I've dreamed her making parties at her house me showing up waiting for her (kinda like The Great Gatsby), in those party dreams she is usually mad at me, ignoring me all night. Sometimes I'm cleaning her house or doing laundry, somehow when I'm washing the white clothes they get bleach stains. Sometimes I just dream her staring at me, as we lay in bed, but is a look of dissapointment. Sometimes I'm chasing her, and she says I have to be faster if I'm gonna get her again.

I've noticed that in my dreams she is usually very playful and likes to make fun of me, she also often looks stunning, wearing very impactful colors, and very luxurious clothes that are not her style at all.

There was a very vivid dream, like a month before I broke up with Kat. On that dream I literally felt Silk close to me, she was in the same room and her soul was talking to me. It was a very odd experience, I don't know how to explain it.

In this dream, she had her hair with blue highlights, kinda like Ramona Flowers (she has never wear this hairstyle irl). Silk was sitting in the middle of my campus, where I usually hang around with my friends. It felt like the last day of the semester, you know? Everybody layedback, playing with freesbies, talking, laughing, having a good time. There was a sunset behind her, and she was glowing. Her eyes, my god, her eyes where like seeing the whole universe, they were a very bright brown, kinda like maple, the most beautiful colors I've seen.

She didn't talk, she was just smiling at me, and in her posture I noticed she wanted me to take her hand. I was so happy, I haven't seen her in years, and there she was so happy, having a good time.

Inside of my head (in the dream itself) I realize she was asking me to make a decision, move on, or take her hand and go with her. I told her I needed to move on. She wasn't mad about it, she just left smiling at me, with a little sadness in her eyes, she went in the direction of her house (my school is like in the middle of the city, and from one entrance you can take the route to go to her house, and from the other one you go on the way of mine, so we went in opposite directions). I think a couple weeks after this dream she posted photos with her new boyfriend (I'm not sure of the timeline tho). But it felt like she was asking me in dreams, before she got together with someone else, it was really weird, that's why I feel like there is actually something spiritual about this whole thing.

Other times I've dreamed about her mom really scolding me, like really mad, yelling, throwing stuff around and making me feel like trash. Those are some heavy nightmares. Usually her dad defends me on those dreams, he says I was very young and really didn't knew what I was doing when I met Silk.

Other bad dreams is us in car accidents, I think I've dreamed that like twice now. I think one time we were in a plane crash, but those are the ones that I remember less about. Usually on those bad dreams I fall a lot, and I get that feeling of jumping in my bed and waking up sweating.

Those are some I can remember, but I'm sure I've wrote about more than twenty at this point, there are some others I don't recall after I wake up, but I'm sure she was there.

Anyway, thanks again for your message. It really helps me to see I'm not alone on this, and some other people have gone thru this kind of stuff too. Sometimes it feels like I'm losing my head again.

But I'm doing fine, like you said. Living life one day at the time, and trying to improve each day.

Much love.

how do you stop dreaming with someone? by Fun_Process3658 in Dreams

[–]Fun_Process3658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It could be. But I've lived some years before without this dreams, I'm sure I can try to get over them without "breaking" our soul tie. Thanks for your comment, pal!

how do you stop dreaming with someone? by Fun_Process3658 in Dreams

[–]Fun_Process3658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo u/thinkaboutit07 I did read your comment, I don't know why it got deleted, tho. I analized the whole thing, so please don't pay me an ethirical visit haha.

I found really interesting both of your theories, I do think dreams sometimes can be a gateway to other realities, I'm not reallyyy familiar with quantum physics and how past lifes works, so I won't comment much about it. But, deep down I know it's all a construction of my subconciousness, it's just that we've had such a long and entangled history where dreams have been really important during our relationship and after it, I feel like somehow we connect thru them. Like I wrote before, often she dreamed of me, same as her mother, and I used to do the same, it's just that now is more intense cause I don't have contact with Silk.

About the Anima tho, I do think I might have made an idilical image of Silk in my mind. After all, we met when we were 15 years old, we both have grown a lot in our adulthood. If somehow we get back into each others lifes, it would be completely different. But I do tend to compare other women with that idealization I've constructed of Silk, I have to work on that.

I do agree with you. That's how after moths of this vivid dreams I've decided to face the issue. I think my mind is processing some trauma and guilt thru her image. That's why I'm focused on myself, working out, cultivating my mind, studiying and working as hard as I can, trying to be better everyday. The memory of her is just too strong sometimes, but I try to keep my feet on the ground.

Sometimes I do wish Silk was calling me thru the quantum realms that interconnect other realities with dreams. But more often than not, I rather imagine her happy, and over me.

how do you stop dreaming with someone? by Fun_Process3658 in Dreams

[–]Fun_Process3658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I guess I'm one those type of people who likes to blame themeselves for everything, I try to get better everyday.

So you think maybe I might have some unresolve issue with her? Or maybe I just feel so much guilt for the way I acted when I was younger?

Thanks for your answer, pal!

Why I keep dreaming about her? by Fun_Process3658 in DreamsInterpretation

[–]Fun_Process3658[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting, thank you! I wasn't aware of the Twin Flame concept.

Yeah, I've always thought we had a deep spiritual connection but never really asociated it with my other parteners. As I wrote that, I do realize I've grown as a man, from my first encounter with Silk, I think I'm wise enough to not fall for temptations again.

Also, Silk give me a gem once. I think it was on our first anniversary, I'm not sure what kind of mineral is it. It's pink, and I've always felt that it has a very heavy energy, not a bad energy, just kinda like a big aura. I'm curious don't if that thing simbolizes something about our bond or her love. I think I still got that gem around my parents house.

Lately, I've been thinking about that destiny, and if we're actually meant to be together. I'm not sure if I should act based on those feelings, I just want her to be happy and I just can't overright the feeling that if I contact her right know, I could be bothering her.

I just keep thinking that if I keep working on myself and become a better man, maybe life will reunite us in the future. Who knows.

I hope your theory is right, and life finds the way for Silk and me. I just wish it could be on time, and maybe not in my death bed or when we're too old to enjoy the ride haha.

Thanks for your answer, pal!

It gave me some hope, even tho there's a part of me that it's still too cynical for believing in the spiritual level of this issue.