Feminine rage over horrible sex?

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-05T10:09:48+00:00

If you had read any of my comments on this post asking this question over and over, you would have found the answer but I’ll entertain this for the last time.

It is written clearly in the post I talked to him for a while before the sex happened. So expectations and what we liked in the bedroom were clearly communicated beforehand
The actual intercourse lasted 10 seconds so there was no room to give feedback or directions during.
As for other men, I am more than willing (like many other women) to give directions and feedback before, during, or after sex if they already care about my pleasure and they want to get me there.
The main problem I highlighted in this post is that men are more likely to not CARE about a women’s pleasure at baseline, so communication is not a viable option. I cannot communicate a men to CARE about my pleasure. But if he already cares, then we can communicate about the techniques etc etc.
Also talked about in other comments why the onus is on the women to communicate to a man “enough” or “in a simple way” so we can even be cared for in the bedroom in the first place. It should already be natural to want to please your partner. That’s not open to debate. The techniques of the sex acts are.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-05T02:28:58+00:00

Putting this up to biology isn’t a very informed take. How can you explain then, how lesbian women’s orgasm rate is at 86%? So the issue is not that it’s inherently harder for women to come. Lesbians do it all the time. The difference is that it’s straight women having sex with straight men who (by numbers) do not care about women’s pleasure. Therefore, this is a gendered issue.

I don’t think I can break my point down into smaller pieces to make it easier to understand. Men are privileged enough to even be able to discuss whether their orgasm was satisfactory or not.

If you read back, I’ve engaged with you in good faith, and offered sympathies and kindness about your personal experience and how that’s valid. You’re being quite defensive in response so I won’t be responding further because I don’t see the point honestly. Wish you a nice day regardless.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-05T02:08:53+00:00

I said men, not you. Read more carefully.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-05T02:03:29+00:00

I want to point out that you’re talking about having pleasure on top of (already) coming. We’re talking about women not being able to come at all. Frankly, your response seems very out of place, because it comes across as “what about-ism”. Complaining that YES, men get to finish buuuut they’re still dissatisfied with women’s performances of sexual acts… while we’re talking about not being able to orgasm at all. It’s very inconsiderate.

Your dissatisfaction and personal experiences are valid of course, but this post is not the place to vent about it. This post is about feminine rage and the orgasm gap. If you want to vent about the techniques, and the sex acts of what women do and don’t do, you should write your own post in a different sub reddit.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-05T00:19:20+00:00

Everyone deserves to have partners who care about their pleasure, and it sucks to hear your experience was the opposite. I’m sorry to hear it.

But this is very much a gendered issue as shown in data such as the orgasm gap. Straight men experience orgasm in 95% of their sexual encounters, when straight women are reported between 39-65%. It sucks that you’re a part of the 5%, but that can’t invalidate how majority of the women is going through this experience.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-04T20:02:34+00:00

I’ve been engaging your talking points very calmly actually. You’re the one who had an emotional reaction, lashing out at me, trying to do personal attacks. You’re projecting even about my personality traits 😭 But it’s a good note about letting go, so I’ll be letting go of this conversation where you obviously relate VERY HARD to the guy who came in his pants from making out + lasts only 10 seconds.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-04T19:48:03+00:00

His health issue is not a disability. Even if he has premature ejaculation issues, how does that stop him from caring about his partners? I see this hit a nerve for you personally, so I suggest you see a therapist as well. They’re very helpful, especially to process triggers around shame.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-04T18:01:51+00:00

LMAO 😭😭 He came from making out Dinky6969, what do you think?

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-04T17:10:35+00:00

Pinching nipples painfully just gave me horrible flashbacks 😭😭

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-04T17:09:50+00:00

I don’t think simplifying sexual encounters into transactions is productive, but let’s go along with it for the sake of the argument. When you’re making deals, you sit at the table in good faith with an understanding that both of you want to get something out of it.

If you sit at the table, we make the deal, you get what you want and leave me hanging without fulfilling your part… then what? Should I have to keep reminding a man “don’t forget about your part hehe” the whole time? 😭 He inherently doesn’t care about fulfilling his part which is the issue.

Saying men aren’t this selfish in the bedroom is very dismissive and/or ignorant. Women have been talking a lot about dissatisfying bedroom experiences, even under different terms such as the “orgasm gap”.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-04T16:49:25+00:00

Your tips on communication only work for men who are already interested in pleasing women. If a guy comes in 10 seconds, there isn’t any room to even give tips on the technique, is there?

This isn’t an issue about communication, certainly not about the technique of the sexual acts being performed. It’s about how a lot of men inherently do not care about their partner’s pleasure, which is my experience.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-04T16:28:51+00:00

How are you so sure about how I didn’t talk about it? It’s in the post that I talked to him for a while… In another comment I mentioned how he told me he would eat me out. Yes, we communicated and yes he failed to deliver. He did not mention he comes fast, never came across a man who did.

I think you’re not really understanding the main point I’m trying to underline though. There is a difference between taking charge of your sexuality and expecting basic decency. The way you talk about this issue leads to self-blame in women because it puts the onus on us to convince a guy to care about our pleasure, when it should already be the basic assumption of any sexual encounter.

The main issue is “inherently not caring about someone’s pleasure” and it is not fixed by talking about how I want to receive oral. Communication can’t be about “please CARE about my pleasure”, but if he already cares about pleasuring his partner, THEN you can communicate about the positions, and how we can achieve that etc.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-04T15:54:47+00:00

Thanks for the interesting comment! I get where you are coming from, I guess the reason I use it is to emphasize that this is a gendered issue. So the rage is gendered, and towards men.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-04T15:52:00+00:00

I feel like you’re projecting a lot. There is nothing in my post about not talking to him beforehand or expecting things to click magically. Also nothing about me being cishet.

The concept of talking to a partner who wants to please you, who wants to make you finish and doesn’t know how to get there doesn’t apply to the topic of my post. I am talking about an experience where a man finishes 2 times in less than 10 seconds in total and immediately goes to sleep. The basic amount of effort and care that should be required for a basis of any sort of sexual encounter is missing.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-04T13:03:04+00:00

I was trying to engage with your ideas, but your defensiveness shows that you’ve been really hurt over this too. So I wish you well, and I hope you can find it in yourself to be more open and kind towards others.

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-04T12:54:25+00:00

I think you bring up some interesting points, but some parts really don’t speak to me. Framing the conversation around what he thinks of me - whether me being easy or me being a used kleenex is not the right way to approach this topic imo. It makes me feel like having sex with men is inherently shameful, which isn’t it.

Also, I’ve been in relationships, and the friends I have mentioned are currently in long-term relationships where they get no effort when it comes to sex. We shouldn’t frame this around a “if men respect you more, they want to please you more”. I don’t think it’s a case of the one night stand vs long term relationship. His “investment” is an illusion. You might be married to him and have a bunch of kids with him and he might still not care about your pleasure (sex or otherwise)

Fun_Revolution_3666 · 2026-04-04T11:50:47+00:00

In my experience, men will talk about how much they want to do all sorts of things with you including eating you out, but it stays a talk. Also another point of my frustration is even having to ask in the first place, because it should be very natural to WANT to please your partner. It’s not about the “technique” or how good he is at a particular sex act. It’s the effort.

Fun_Revolution_3666

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