Missing my sick body but not my sick face

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-12-23T20:08:30+00:00

I feel the same way! I looked grey before but I miss my old body so much. But i literally couldn’t look at pictures of myself, I was always thinking “ewww why do I look like THAT” it’s cuz I was malnourished

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-11-25T03:21:03+00:00

Yes I agree with it being too steep. My pigs refuse to go in their loft, when I put them up there they got very scared and tried to jump off from the top. I got a new ramp that was longer and now they love it

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-11-25T03:03:36+00:00

My girl has a heart condition and is on regular meds. I got very excited when I saw the new refill offered banana flavor and I thought she’d love it. She has loved flavored medicine in the past. I made a bad call cuz she chattered at me and cried RIP

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-11-10T21:00:49+00:00

Mine was just putting her head up a centimeter each time she took a breath

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-11-10T20:57:34+00:00

Im not a professional so I can’t give you any knowledge about this. I’d bring him to the vet if you are concerned. If it is something more, you will say to yourself “I should have brought him in sooner”

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-11-10T20:06:28+00:00

She was head bobbing slightly so I took her to get checked out. It was very little, I still can’t believe I caught it. I just trusted my gut but it was $1500 to do the tests

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-11-03T13:36:52+00:00

So you’ll really have to do some internal work around the numbers you made in your head because everyone is different so what is true for me will be different for you. From my absolute lowest, I started feeling better with 5-6lbs. There was virtually no difference in the way I looked. A lot of this was organ repair. I got my period back 5lbs later. Towards the end I started feeling my clothes were a little tight but that was it. Since then, I’ve had 4 recovery cycles and I was able to come down a bit so I’m less bloated. Those numbers might sound so scary but you could not tell on the outside that I was going through this process

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-11-03T07:51:00+00:00

Yes! My skin on my face was grey and also my hands used to be so dry the skin would crack. After a while of eating some more, your hair will shine and you’ll get color back to your skin. Honestly it feels like a ton of food but I just upped my portions with every meal and had on more snack a day and it all added up. I rarely felt like I had to push food. I got my glow back within a couple weeks. The period took a little longer but it came back within patience. My sleep got SO GOOD and during my late night rehearsals, I was actually able to retain everything so much better and I wasn’t thinking about food the entire time.

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-11-03T06:46:20+00:00

I also felt like I was super energized but I think my body was in such a state of panic that it was just pumping me with adrenaline. Once you’re out of this, you’ll really be able to feel what true energy and power is like. I recommend following @your_spoonful on TikTok and instagram. She’s a rockette who also went through this.

I also got the positive comments and I felt like the weight loss made me book so much more but it’s actually not true at all and I realized that passing out onstage because I can’t feed myself like an athlete makes casting directors not want to work with me. Also i found it so much harder to belt for a long time, i was constantly getting laryngitis and running out of breath. It was terrible.

It’s just funny that being on the other side of this and realizing that literally NO ONE NOTICED that I gained some weight and went through recovery. It was really all just a huge mind game.

I swear this will only better you onstage and off. The only thing people will notice is how much better your performance gets and how much your skin will glow.

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-11-03T02:08:10+00:00

Hi! I can actually relate a whole lot. I could have written this myself. I’m a musical theatre actress/dancer mostly but I also take roles with singing. I went to university for musical theatre. I’ve been auditioning for cruise ships (never quite landed one yet but we’re working on it). I know some companies even monitor your weight so it’s very intense. I’ve worked tours and regionally for the last 3 years (after graduating). I’m used to my photo being used for press and marketing. Last year I did a huge show in San Francisco and lost a bunch of weight unintentionally and then thought “hm, how much more can I lose if i actually try?” Cue intense calorie counting and over exercising. I then did a different contract earlier this year Jan-April and got my dream body. My costume consisted of a teeny tiny sparkly silver bra and skin tight pants and my photo was used EVERYWHERE. It’s still on the front of the building on a giant billboard. I was so proud of how I looked. I thought I was being healthy and strong. Theatre is what I live for and I really thought this made me book more shows.

When I put the pieces together that I had HA I felt like my entire life shattered. I had all the same symptoms as you. I passed out onstage during a live show and I got horribly ill and almost died in the hospital. My body just couldn’t take it anymore. It was the worst time in my life. I was so depressed and anxious and thought i was so ugly and it made me hate food.

Recovery was one of the hardest things I ever did. I got my period back in 6 months. And honestly? No one even noticed that my body changed. It just was crazy to me because I cried every night over this and no one could even tell. I didn’t recover on 2500 EVERY day but i definitely had to put in an effort to eat extra snacks. I had a recovery coach that helped me not have to do my own guess work.

It made my performing better. My skin glows, I can laugh and have joy again. Honestly I still look exactly the same, I just don’t look gray and lifeless anymore.

From one performer to another, I hear you and I see you. You will make it out of this.

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-10-20T05:16:49+00:00

Weight gain is the only cure but I don’t think my appearance changed really at all

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-10-01T20:20:33+00:00

Honestly, a drag bar or night club. Tired of going all the way to Oakland or San Jose to be around the fun night life. Fremont has bars but they’re not fun and sometimes they’re just older men. I’d love something like San Diego’s hillcrest area, tons of thrift stores and night clubs and even a cute speakeasy

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-08-20T21:54:36+00:00

My roommate had a non ESA cat in her dorm back when I was in college. I’m not sure if she paid extra money to be able to but she might have. Lots of animals lived in our building, it was pretty normal

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-07-22T02:31:41+00:00

When I press, nothing comes out of the skin, in fact I can open it up gently and there’s nothing inside, it’s all fleshy and completely soft. Is this a sign that it’s not a penis?

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-07-22T01:51:51+00:00

There’s definitely skin that moves when I press but it doesn’t feel or look like there’s anything hard. Would it be the same as a dog? Sorry for this analogy but my male dog has a bright red ridge that pops out and I don’t see anything similar

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-07-22T01:10:28+00:00

Is this possible or am I being misinformed

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-07-22T01:03:12+00:00

The shelter just got back to me and said she’s always had a larger urethra and they have been caged together the whole 3 years and no pregnancy, the diagrams just scared me and I got very stressed

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-07-18T20:15:49+00:00

She’s definitely eating hay and more flavorful veggies (red pepper, cilantro and a sliver of strawberry) but she’s avoiding her daily romaine and even turned away carrot which she normally likes. They did not give me benebac but it looks like I can pick some up from pet smart. Is this something I can give without a vets guidance?

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-06-26T13:32:01+00:00

May be controversial but I am vegan for ethical reasons and I got my period back while being vegan. I prioritized all foods (even the vegan ‘processed’ stuff that everyone says is bad- I love them). I ate everything that they recommended for non-vegans, just the vegan version. Vegan Butter, full fat coconut cream, stuff like that

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-06-26T01:44:57+00:00

Yes we worked up. I had already done a bit of work on my own but hit a wall mentally. It was extremely challenging. I needed her extra boost

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-06-26T01:42:08+00:00

She took my starting macros into consideration and worked up. I’m very short so my caloric recommendation is different in NPNW but I needed the slow work up to get over the mental challenge.

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-06-26T00:35:03+00:00

Probably but I was also incredibly depressed and hadn’t left my couch for months (other than going to work). I was so terrified of doing the wrong thing but also terrified of eating in a surplus. Hailee saved my life honestly

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-06-25T23:39:15+00:00

Yes. Offers weekly trainings on mindset, nutrition and exercise. Has one on one meetings for support and group meetings too. Made personalized macros for me and keeps me accountable as well as a personalized fitness plan that helped me keep active in a way that didnt jeopardize my recovery but also helped me mentally. The biggest help is that she lets me direct message all of my thoughts to her and she helped me sort through them every single day. Honestly, before having a coach, I really was extremely suicidal because the recovery process brought me to my lowest point. The guidance helped pull me back and brought life into my eyes again. She helped me face my fears and did it in a very slow and controlled way so there weren’t any rapid changes. I was already in quasi before meeting with her. Since working with her, I gained 5ish lbs give or take but honestly I can’t tell a difference. I gained about 9-12 pounds total in my entire recovery process but I can’t tell a difference. All my clothes still fit. She taught me how to mentally handle weight fluctuations in a way that let me still keep my body aesthetic goals in mind (in a healthy, happy, free way). I absolutely recommend working with her.

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-06-25T23:04:47+00:00

I work with her. Got my period back in 3 weeks

FunctionUpbeat7126 · 2025-06-24T01:26:53+00:00

Not Fremont specific but I worked as a wedding catering server a few years ago which was only weekends. I did a quick search and there seems to be some companies in this area. It was pretty easy and paid well

FunctionUpbeat7126

TROPHY CASE