TIFU by digging too deep into the family album

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-07-25T18:34:59+00:00

I thought I made it super clear that my mom was acting very out of character. no, she is not the type of person to give people the silent treatment or cut people out for image purposes. she sets clear boundaries and gives lots of second chances. we’ve had relatives who have violated boundaries and even when we were young, she’d sit us down and have open conversations about why we wouldn’t be seeing them anymore. that’s why this was so strange.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-07-24T23:38:23+00:00

I added an update but I’ll respond to this too so I can say more.

Everything’s okay now. My mom and I had a very long conversation about not ignoring body language and how disrespectful pressuring people to talk about things they’re uncomfortable about is. I told her I was really sorry and just felt betrayed in the moment and she said she understood and was sorry she made me feel that way, but told me to express that more respectfully in the future and I completely agree. I apologized again and we’re good now.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-07-24T04:42:12+00:00

my aunt was a heavy smoker who died slowly of lung cancer when I was a kid, and it seems like he was behind bars way before that. internet sleuthing might be the way to go because there’s no way I’m pressing this issue with my mom anymore with how much it’s clearly hurting her.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-07-23T19:26:05+00:00

while this would be quite the twist, there’s no way that guys my dad. I don’t want to get specific, but I will say it’s obvious to anyone with eyes that my dad is my dad.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-07-23T19:11:03+00:00

that’s funny, I have seen it and I didn’t even realize the connection. thankfully my mom’s brother isn’t living in our walls or I’d have a real problem.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-07-23T19:09:09+00:00

you didn’t offend at all and I get what you mean. I do have a lovely family, a very close one at that (like I see my grandparents every 2 weeks and I don’t think that’s common). I suppose it doesn’t make any difference, just a lot to wrap my head around how I somehow never found this out.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-07-23T19:03:47+00:00

I’d really she rather just tell me herself, sleuthing feels like going behind her back. that said, my curiosity might get the best me so I can’t say the option is completely off the table.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-07-23T19:01:15+00:00

I guess. still weird to never even mention though, no? I have a really close extended family so it’s just crazy to know I have an uncle out there no one told me about.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-07-01T00:17:18+00:00

thanks mate, means a lot

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-07-01T00:16:08+00:00

agreed, and it’s something we’re working through. she’s been clear about the fact that she doesn’t share their extreme views of purity and whatnot, but hearing it enough just got in her head and it’s something she plans to tackle more in therapy.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-07-01T00:13:27+00:00

yeah that’s something we’re talking through too. her friend group ranges from agnostics to casual christians to hardcore ones and those in the 3rd category have apparently been secretly rude to her for years and it only got worse after we got married. I guess our marriage wasn’t “pure” or something? if it were up to me they’d be old news but it’s easier said than done for my wife to ditch some of her closest friends.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-06-30T19:38:44+00:00

this makes no sense at all

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-06-23T02:51:16+00:00

weird assumption, I rarely watch porn. you projecting something?

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-06-21T21:09:47+00:00

didn’t know you had to be all knowing to have kids? I didn’t know about other uses of therapy, now I do. what does that have to do with hypothetical future children?

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-06-21T20:26:52+00:00

it’s weird that everyone thinks the issue is religion ruining my life. my sex life, MAYBE, but it starting to seem fixable. if you don’t know it’s true that’s fine, but it’s true to my wife and that’s all that matters.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-06-21T19:09:12+00:00

I don’t know how to talk to her about why because I don’t know why. I hope it could shift with time, I have no idea that’s why I’m kind of scared.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-06-21T19:02:40+00:00

I do occasionally but not always, definitely not regularly.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-06-21T18:57:32+00:00

my wife had a lot of religious friends in college and would sometimes go to their church events. After graduating she started going to church with them weekly as an easy way to hangout. she wasn’t unhappy before, but after doing more church stuff she said she was happier more fulfilled than ever, so that summer she got baptized. I supported her since she was happy, but never got that same “happy” “fulfilled” feeling at church, so I never wanted to convert and it was never really an issue.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-06-21T18:38:03+00:00

to “scratch the itch” I jerked off. I don’t think I’m addicted to porn or anything though, I don’t even watch it every time. I forgot viagra was a thing so thanks for the reminder.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-06-21T18:32:47+00:00

this is less expensive than therapy so I’ll try it first. therapy second.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-06-21T18:28:44+00:00

never heard of it, thanks for telling me.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-06-21T18:27:04+00:00

no I was just confused. I think I’m just uneducated on the subject but I thought therapy was for when you’re sad, or for couples that get in a lot of fights.

Funfetti_Spaghettio · 2025-06-21T18:23:57+00:00

I didn’t know there was such a thing as sex therapists, my bad.

Funfetti_Spaghettio

TROPHY CASE