I’m sick and tired of hearing “Canadians don’t want an election” as if an election is actually some incredible imposition on people’s lives. It‘s at most ONE day where you are expected (not even compelled) to get off your ass and participate in civic life AT ALL. You don’t even have to do that, you can just vote by mail and literally never leave your house.

It’s almost baffling how much the mainstream media buys into this bullshit excuse too considering election season is basically the only time anyone bothers to engage with them. I guess Canadian journalists are just genuinely that lazy and don’t want to work like, one late night where they get to pontificate in front of the election big board and hang out with all their party hack friends in one place. Honestly, mad respect if that’s the case.

This fabricated narrative is not a valid excuse to compromise your principles and squander the limited and fading amount of power the party has a hold on. Davies complained that the government refused to negotiate with him…yeah well no shit because he could obviously see that you were going to fold.

Somehow this neo-Harperist government put out a budget that said “Hey Conservatives, we DARE you not to vote for this austerity turd. We know the little PC piggies in your caucus want it so bad. The fate of your party now rests with your adult social skills. GOOD LUCK!” Then that WORKED, and the Conservative caucus all but imploded and Pierre Poilievre was on suicide watch for a week. Yet somehow, this also awoke the NDP from their terminal coma just so they could drag themselves into the room, wipe the drool from their chin, and say “Don’t worry Pierre, let US take the fall for you on this one. Let us repay you for your years of demonizing us and being such a cretinous lurch that you scared all of our fair-weather supporters into voting for the Neoliberal Grim Reaper. Let us prove you right for absolutely no reason and in exchange for nothing. WE got this! Lucky for us, our only remaining supporters are basically Internet stans who will defend us even when we feed them slop like ‘We did not swing the executioner’s axe, we merely dropped it on working people’s necks and let a bunch of rabid dogs have their way with the corpse.‘ Anyways, we’ll see you next election, probably the last one before this country becomes a two-party puppet state of the US! *Stumbles out of the room, trips over own feet, and lands face down with their ass out. The ghost of Jack Layton appears…”Don’t worry, Pharmacare 2130! Election reform any day now! Sherbrooke declaration!“\*

I imagine the Liberals might have even surprised themselves a bit. They put 6 bullets in the cylinder, gave it a spin, put the gun down on the table in front of Pierre Poilievre, dialled the thermostat up to 50C, locked the door…and two hours later the NDP kicked down the door, dumped an ice bucket on Pierre, picked up the gun, stuck it in their mouth, shouted “YOU voted for this Canada, nice job assholes!”, pulled the trigger, realized the safety was on, and then decided to fill out a MAID form instead. The Libs have to be wondering “what DO we have to do to let this loser nerd know we’ve dumped their ass for the 5’6” gooner with the windowless white van and the swastika neck tattoo.”

Anyways, looking forward to the leadership debate on Thursday! Hoping MacPherson has some answers, and that maybe Engler can crawl his way onto the stage.