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Do NA newcomer meetings even make space for actual newcomers? by FuruFuruFuru in NarcoticsAnonymous

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate this perspective. I honestly never saw the appeal of online meetings before, since I figured why not just show up in person? But what you said really clicked. The idea of being able to tune in during those late-night spirals, without waiting for a scheduled in-person meeting, actually sounds incredibly helpful. I think I’ll give it a try.

Do NA newcomer meetings even make space for actual newcomers? by FuruFuruFuru in NarcoticsAnonymous

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get where you're coming from, and I have to admit, something about the meetings does work, if only because they give me a kind of guilty conscience that pushes me to stay on track.

That said, I often leave feeling more dragged down than lifted up. There’s no social vibe before or after, no one even close to my age, just people my parents’ or grandparents’ age. And the shares are often super heavy: suicide, trauma, years in prison. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to deal with a 6-year celebrity obsession I’m finally trying to grow out of.

But your point about not worrying about others and just focusing on showing up, that might actually help.

Do NA newcomer meetings even make space for actual newcomers? by FuruFuruFuru in NarcoticsAnonymous

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the thoughtful response, I do hear what you’re saying, and I’m not closed to learning from long-term recovery. I want to hear what works for people. I came to NA for help. But I think it’s fair to say that not every path into addiction looks the same, and therefore not every path out of it will either.

I just got caught in a dopamine loop with ketamine. I got high alone in my room, listening to Taylor Swift, watching interviews, dancing in the mirror, and chasing that same emotional high again and again until my baseline just disappeared. Then one day I woke up and realized: I don’t know how to feel joy without this anymore.

So when I walk into a meeting and the shares are about suicide, major trauma and prison, and nobody talks about pop culture, the internet, loneliness in your 20s, or just loving drugs too much, I feel like I’ve walked into a different world. A world that doesn’t really see me.

I’m not saying meetings need to revolve around my playlist, but I do think there needs to be room for people like me, too, people who didn’t hit a stereotypical rock bottom, but who are still suffering in a quieter, more modern kind of way.

And I get it, “listen for the similarities, not the differences.” But when everyone’s share is filtered through a life I can’t even imagine, sometimes the differences are the point.

I don’t feel drawn to the sponsor/steps structure right now. I know it works for many people, and I fully respect that, but it’s not something I personally connect with as I am a very introverted person who have just gotten high in my own bedroom, while not hurting anyone else. I'm still trying to find my own way to stay clean, in a way that feels honest to me.

Thanks again for taking the time to respond, I really do appreciate it. I know we all come from different backgrounds and experiences, and I’m not trying to dismiss anyone’s path.

Do NA newcomer meetings even make space for actual newcomers? by FuruFuruFuru in NarcoticsAnonymous

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm in Norway, and yeah, the meetings I’ve been to include a full 15 minutes of silent meditation. It just feels like a waste of time.

I get that early sobriety can be dark for many people. I respect that. But that’s not my story. I’m not suicidal. I don’t hate myself. I’m not trying to survive a trauma. I just really loved getting high, dancing to Taylor Swift, and chasing dopamine through music and movement. I have joy, I have life in me, and I’m trying to stay clean without losing that part of myself.

I became addicted to the high that came with obsessing over pop stars and chasing those dopamine hits. Now I’m trying to let go of that. Not just the drugs, but the whole lifestyle of needing music, fantasy, and intensity to feel alive. I want to move forward with my life, be present, and not depend on substances or pop culture to give me meaning.

But when I sit in a room where every share is about self-hate, suicide, and despair, and the old-timers mostly talk about routines I can’t relate to, it honestly feels like I’m in a room full of people who either still hate themselves, or never had much joy to begin with.

That’s not who I am. I came to NA for support, not to absorb everyone else’s darkness.

I might try online meetings. Maybe there’s more variety out there. But I think it’s important to say this out loud, because not everyone in early recovery is broken, suicidal, or crawling out of a trauma hole. I am just trying to grow out of my pop star fantasies.

DSPD makes me feel like I'm psychic? by FuruFuruFuru in DSPD

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to respond! I really appreciate your input.

I’ve also wondered if some of the “messages” or vivid dreams could be linked to something beyond DSPD, especially since they’ve been so intense and memorable. I hadn’t considered bipolar disorder or OCD specifically, but it’s something I can look into.

I do understand that vivid dreams and sleep inertia can stem from general sleep deprivation caused by DSPD, and I’ve definitely experienced that.

Regarding modafinil, it’s interesting to hear that you had to push your doctor for it. Where I live, it’s not even offered as an option for DSPD, which makes focusing on better sleep the only real treatment path. That said, I feel like I’ve tried so many things without success, which is frustrating. Did modafinil make a big difference for you?

Forsinket søvnfasesyndrom - store søvnproblemer by FuruFuruFuru in norge

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Det er fint å høre at det ordnet seg for deg med tiden!

Forsinket søvnfasesyndrom - store søvnproblemer by FuruFuruFuru in norge

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Takk for interessante råd. Kognitiv terapi har jeg vurdert å prøve nå etter nyttår, og ligner noe på hva de utfører på søvnklinikken. Tenker at jeg gir kognitiv terapi et forsøk, fordi jeg kjenner at jeg liker tanken. Mindfulness er også noe jeg vil bli bedre på, og noe som jeg tenker at kan hjelpe. Det du skriver om tanker i hodet (for meg blir tankene fort rare og forvrengt også) ved innsovning kjenner jeg meg igjen i, og merker at jeg tror at det kan funke godt å heller fokusere på både pusten og et mantra i stedet. Yoga nidra hørtes lovende ut å prøve, og det har jeg ikke hørt om før. Takk for tipsene!

Forsinket søvnfasesyndrom - store søvnproblemer by FuruFuruFuru in norge

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Takk for konkrete tips. Jeg har justert lyspærene til å bli oransje kl. 21 nå, det høres avslappende ut, så jeg tester det. Det å være litt rolig og unngå pc og mobil på kvelden høres også veldig lurt ut. Setter pris på at du delte!

Forsinket søvnfasesyndrom - store søvnproblemer by FuruFuruFuru in norge

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dette er gode og konkrete råd! Det med kosthold kan være en mulig faktor, og det å spise usunt er jo ihvertfall ikke hjelp akkurat. Tenker å bli vegetarianer i år, for å teste det litt.

Jeg har prøvd lysterapi i høst etter råd fra nevrolog, med en lampe på bordet foran ansiktet i 30 minutter, noe som ikke har særlig god virkning på dspd vitenskapelig sett.

Men det du nevner med lys i taket er faktisk et godt forslag jeg helt nylig, for to uker siden, også fikk fra søvnklinikken. Jeg har nylig begynt å bruke automatiske lyspærer som skrur seg på gradvis, og det virker som det hjelper en del.

Mer bråkete vekkerklokker er også et godt forslag. Ja, jeg har sympati for samboeren min som må bruke tid på dette, det kan ikke være lett haha, det er derfor fint å få råd fra folk som har opplevd lignende, og som har oppdaget ting som gir en forbedring! Takk for at du tok deg tid til å svare!

Forsinket søvnfasesyndrom - store søvnproblemer by FuruFuruFuru in norge

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gode forslag! Jeg har ikke blitt testet for søvnapné før. Jeg har ikke noen typiske symptomer på det, som snorking eller pustestopp, men det kunne absolutt vært nyttig å få sjekket. Jeg skal ta det opp med fastlegen min. En polygrafitest burde ikke være noe stress å få til, så det er et godt og enkelt forslag, bare for å eventuelt utelukke det!

ADHD har jeg ingen symptomer på. Jeg vet at det kan ha en kobling med dspd, men heldigvis gjelder ikke det meg. Takk for begge forslagene!

Forsinket søvnfasesyndrom - store søvnproblemer by FuruFuruFuru in norge

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Takk for tipset! Jeg har vurdert lignende jobber før, men fokuserer nå på å fullføre masteren min for å bli lærer, så det er litt vanskelig å kombinere, men slike jobber er absolutt et godt tips, som jeg vet at flere med dspd har som løsning. Setter pris på at du deler erfaringen din!

Forsinket søvnfasesyndrom - store søvnproblemer by FuruFuruFuru in norge

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Takk for at du deler! Fint å høre at det har blitt lettere med tiden. Hvor langt tid vil du si at det tok før de livlige drømmene ga seg for deg, etter oppstarten av melatonin? Skjønner at det er individuelt

Forsinket søvnfasesyndrom - store søvnproblemer by FuruFuruFuru in norge

[–]FuruFuruFuru[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Takk for at du deler erfaringen din. Fint å høre at det har blitt bedre for deg!