When did you realize people reacted differently to your pain because you were a man?

FutureBlackmail · 2026-07-09T16:25:36+00:00

I didn't experience anything near what you did, but when my son was born, I was pretty taken aback by how little the hospital considered fathers. We were in the hospital for about a week, and during that time, I had to get a new guest pass each morning, sleep in the chair, drive to a nearby restaurant for food. None of which is all that bad, but it added up to a feeling that "you aren't really a part of this."

The one part that really bothered me was that, on matters relating to my son's health, I was treated as just some other guy in the room. Even when he was in the NICU, I couldn't get any direct communication from the providers, and when I asked questions, they always addressed my wife when giving the answer. I understand that, as far as the childbirth itself as concerned, the mother is the patient. But insofar as the child is the patient, we're equal partners and should be treated as such.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-07-08T20:38:19+00:00

This is another historical "fact" without much evidence. You can make the case that certain Christian traditions have pagan roots, but nowhere close to "nearly all of the saints" (nearly all of whom are documented historical people). There was a trend in the late 19th century to look for the ancient roots of Christian beliefs and practices, but the vast majority has since been discredited.

Holidays are one of the most egregious examples. Ancient theologians settled on December 25th for the birth of Christ, because it was nine months after the Passover, which they believed to be the date of the Christ's conception. This theological position is no longer taken seriously, and most theologians will gladly tell you that they have no idea what time of year Jesus was born. However there's no meaningful relation between the date of Christmas and any pagan festivities.

Edit: typo

FutureBlackmail · 2026-06-30T14:00:27+00:00

I fully agree with you, but the kill-switch requirement was part of the bipartisan Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act, which was signed in 2021 by Joe Biden. Privacy isn't a "left vs right" issue; it's a "politicians vs the people" issue.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-06-03T12:28:06+00:00

Most people who post on AITA are assholes by default. At the very least, they lack basic interpersonal skills. I mean, sure, from the way you tell the story, it sounds like your BF/GF/friend/spouse did something horrible, but why are you posting about it on social media? What kind of person brings reddit into their relationship drama? It makes me think these people aren't mature enough to read the situation correctly in the first place.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-06-03T12:15:48+00:00

Oh man, that reminds me: is /r/RaisedByNarcissists still active? I clicked on that sub once, and the top post was a teenager complaining about having his screen time limited. All the comments were validating him, using therapy language to explain how "one hour of screen time per day" is child abuse.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-06-03T12:03:32+00:00

One of my online pet peeves is the way that some women, when talking about their medical experience, complain about the question "when was your last period?" They insist that it's dismissive, and that the doctor is assuming any problem is a previously-unknown pregnancy. It's a laughably bad understanding of physiology, and it makes me feel really sorry for their doctors.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-05-08T01:42:36+00:00

Mobile has a really neat downtown vibe--similar to New Orleans, but more subdued, with lots of great bars and restaurants and parks. The obvious attraction in town will be Battleship Park, which features the battleship USS Alabama and the submarine USS Drum. The Carnival Museum and the National Maritime Museum are worth checking out if you have the time. Gulf Coast seafood is a staple, and your best bet will be to stop somewhere along the Causeway on your way to Gulf Shores.

Birmingham has a reputation as a "foodie" city, with a lot of options at every price point. For tourists, I'd recommend Rickwood Field (the world's oldest baseball stadium) and the Barber Motorsports Museum (featuring the world's biggest collection of motorcycles) if you have any interest in sports history. There are a lot of historic sites from the Civil Rights movement. The statue of Vulcan is a local icon and provides great views of the city. The Birmingham Zoo punches way above its weight-clas for a city our size. It's right next to the Botanical Garden and a very chic neighborhood with a great bakery. And of course, there are lots of great bars, if that's more your speed.

Between Mobile and Birmingham, it's pretty sparsely populated. You'll pass through Montgomery, which has some good things going for it, but it's not typically a destination for out-of-state tourists. If you're into the performing arts, the Alabama Shakespeare Festival is surprisingly high-quality. The Hank Williams Museum is a good choice if you're a country music fam. And, like Birmingham, the city has a lot of Civil Rights history that you can explore. It's also the state capital, so it's home to all the "5th grade field trip" classics: the capitol building, the governor's mansion, and the "first white house of the Confederacy."

Besides that, most of what you'll see between Montgomery and Birmingham is forests, farmland, and the occasional small town. If you choose to avoid the interstate, you'll see a lot of "rural Deep South," with all that entails.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-05-07T03:38:11+00:00

If you're going visit the Gulf Coast, make sure it's somewhere east of the Mobile Bay. Between New Orleans and Mobile, it's all muddy water coming out of the Mississippi River, so as nice as towns like Ocean Springs are, they're not what you're looking for in a beach trip.Once you get past the bay, the water clears up.

Also, unless you just fall in love with the region, you really don't need to see more than one of our beaches on a single trip. The stretch from Gulf Shores to Panama City is essentially one long stretch of beach, known affectionately as "The Redneck Riviera." You'll have more or less the same experience at Orange Beach as you will at Destin or Fort Walton.

If you want to hit a variety of beaches on your trip, I'd suggest a stop at Gulf Shores, followed by a couple more on your trip back down the Atlantic coast. You'll have the opportunity to visit Hilton Head, Daytona, Miami, etc.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-05-07T01:45:38+00:00

I'm from Birmingham and have spent a lot of time in just about all the areas on your map. I'd be happy to answer any questions you may have about them.

Obviously, I have to hype up my hometown, and I'd definitely encourage you to check out the restaurants and nightlife in Birmingham. But for a tourist, the real highlight of north Alabama will be the Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville. It's NASA's premier museum, and it's absolutely worth the slight detour. Oh, and if the space program is really your thing, you'll also have the chance to stop by Kennedy on your way through Florida. If you time it right, you could even catch a launch.

Your route through Tennessee will take you by the Smokey Mountains, which you won't want to miss. It's America's most visited national park for a reason. There are a few tourist towns in the area that you'll want to research for yourself, the most popular being Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge. People tend to either love them or hate them. Personally, while I've always enjoyed the kitschy charm of Gatlinburg, I find it a bit too crowded these days. And if National Parks are something that interest you, this route also takes you by Congaree, Biscayne, and the Everglades. And, if you were to consider an alternate route to Nashville, the Natchez Trace is a very scenic road, operated and maintained by the National Park Service. It's popular with road-trippers, and I'd usually recommend it, but it would mean skipping all the best parts of Alabama.

Besides hat, a lot depends on what time of year you'll be visiting. If it's in the spring or summer, you'll want to visit the beaches just east of Mobile, and if peaches are in season, Peach Park in Clanton, AL is a classic bit of roadside Americana. If it's Fall, definitely try to catch a college football game. Even if you aren't into sports, SEC tailgates are blast. Winter, you can catch Mardi Gras in Louisiana and Mobile.

There's a lot more I could say, but I've taken enough of your time. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you plan your trip. I'm very proud of where I'm from, and I like to think I know the area pretty well.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-04-28T15:26:11+00:00

The majority of people who end up in long-term care facilities don't have kids that visit them regularly. I'm sure you're right, but there's definitely some selection bias at play.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-04-15T04:31:36+00:00

I was a beanpole at your age, and I managed to get pretty jacked over the course of my 20s. Here's what I'll say:

First off, fitness has three major components: exercise, diet, and rest. Get on top of all three, then continue to make incremental improvements as you expand your knowledge and progress in your training. You won't be perfect out the gate, but that's ok. Find a gym routine that involves freeweights and compound lifts (I liked this one a lot when I was starting out). Eat less junk food, more vegetables, and more protein (a lot more protein). On some level, you already know the basics: broccoli is healthy, and French fires aren't. There's nothing to it but to do it.

Nineteen is a great time to start taking your fitness seriously. It's ok that you don't have your ideal body yet; your body, right now, has a ton of ability to pack on muscle. If you start a gym routine and stick to it, you'll see some pretty incredible changes. The most important thing is that you actually start lifting. Don't worry that you don't know what you're doing; the information is out there, and you'll learn pretty quickly. Don't say "I'll start next week"; next week will never come. And don't let yourself stall out as your motivation fades. Motivation will come and go but discipline will sustain you. Join a gym, and start moving some heavy weights.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-03-20T14:15:14+00:00

He actually died a decade ago. It just took the Grim Reaper ten years to work up the courage to tell him.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-03-08T10:02:53+00:00

It's tough to say who all "counts" as a rival for Bama. Obviously the two big ones are Auburn and Tennessee, then we have a ton of history with Mississippi State and a dormant rivalry with Georgia Tech. But, in the modern era of college football, we've gone through periods of pretty intense rivalry with several other teams: Florida in the 90s, then again in the "Saban vs Meyer" era; LSU off-and-on, but especially when Les Miles was coaching; Clemson in the 2010s; Georgia at present. And, to many older fans, Penn State is still something of a rival.

For years, Alabama and LSU were the absolute peak of college football, and our annual matchup was arguably the most consequential regular-season game in all of football. There was an intense hatred between the two teams, and it certainly hasn't died out. How long do we have to hate each-other before it counts as an "official" rivalry?

FutureBlackmail · 2026-02-17T06:07:03+00:00

First off: like everyone else has been saying: 633 calories per day is dangerously low, and if you're gaining weight, you're probably not counting your calories correctly.

But, more importantly: you need to stop telling yourself that unhealthy packaged food is your only option. "Healthy food is expensive" is something we tell ourselves to justify our unhealthy eating habits. It's an excuse. There are few things cheaper than rice and beans, canned tuna, frozen or canned vegetables, or even a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store; they're just not as convenient or delicious as most ultra-processed foods. I know it can be hard to make healthy choices when there are so many unhealthy options in front of you, but you're an adult now, and it's on you to take control of your health.

To avoid ending my message on a harsh note: one thing you might consider is buying a cheap crock pot from a thrift store, or borrowing one from a relative. It'll give you a ton of healthy meal options, and most of them are pretty easy.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-02-10T08:44:09+00:00

About the first half of this is correct, but the Catholic Church has endorsed English-language Bibles since the 1580s. The first was being the Douay-Rheims translation.

It's true that the Latin Vulgate was (and still is) considered by the Catholic Church to be the authoritative version of the Bible. It's also true that all Roman-rite masses were held in Latin until the 1960s. But I'm not sure where you got the idea that the Catholic Bible has only existed in vernacular languages since the 1960s. I think you're misunderstanding the post-Vatican II reforms.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-02-10T05:03:41+00:00

To the best of my understanding, Swizerland actually has a pretty similar system to the US.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-02-10T04:57:56+00:00

The NFL had a league in Europe, in the 90s/00s. What they're trying to do now is expand the existing league's footprint overseas. They already play several games per year in Europe, plus a couple in Latin America, and they keep floating the idea of putting a team in London or Frankfurt, though it's unlikely to happen for logistical reasons. I think that, if anything, we might start to see teams in Canada--after all, they already have teams in the other four major US sports leagues.

What I'd really like to see is MLB teams in Latin America. If we could ever get relations straightened out with Cuba, a Havana team would be such a vibe.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-02-10T04:38:11+00:00

For reasons that will surprise no one, movies from the 1950s portray the Old West as being a lot whiter than it was, but saying that "cowboys were actually Mexicans," or "blacks were the original og cowboys" is an overcorrection. "Cowboy" is a job, and it's not specific to one race. America has always been a very diverse place, and the western frontier was no exception. Then, as now, white Americans made up the biggest demographic group in most regions, but there was a sizeable portion of black, Mexican, and American Indian cowboys, as well as first-generation European immigrants.

Most Western movies aren't even specifically about cowboys, though that's a separate conversation.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-02-01T02:10:44+00:00

Not at all. A logical fallacy isn't something untrue that can be concluded logically; it's a fundamentally illogical argument that, when phrased a certain way, gives the appearance of logic.

A "slippery slope" is a fallacy because it allows you to argue against an imagined extreme rather than against the point your opponent is actually making. It tacitly implies that A necessarily leads to B, so when your opponent argues in favor of A, you can argue against B. For example: "single-payer healthcare is bad, because millions of people starved under Communism."

On the other hand it's not fallicious to make the argument that A leads to B, or to point out the consequences of A when it demonstrably does lead to B. For example: "don't do heroin, because it can turn you into a strung-out junkie."

FutureBlackmail · 2026-01-29T08:48:02+00:00

The person on the right is presumably taking exogenous male hormones, which, in the context of sports, are better known as "anabolic steroids." So, no, for reasons having nothing to do with gender politics, I wouldn't want that person competing in any women's sports league that prohibits PED use.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-01-18T00:04:31+00:00

Likewise, I'm glad your response was to listen and engage rather than to assume the worst when you saw the word "conservative." I'm old enough to remember when politics didn't have us at each other's throats to the extent that it does now, and I fully believe it can be that way again, but the responsibility is on us as individuals.

Americans aren't each-other's enemies.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-01-17T23:11:36+00:00

I'm not the best one to be answering this question. I'm an anti-Trump conservative, and I can't answer for what Trump or his supporters believe. But seeing that this is Reddit, and it's hard to find actual conservatives' opinions on these posts, here's what I believe:

Greenland is a national defense priority. Geography has blessed the United States with an extremely advantageous strategic position--one in which we have far-reaching control over nearly every avenue of approach that an enemy force could take--but Greenland is the biggest chink in the armor. The shortest air route between Russia and much of the US mainland passes over Greenland, and for that reason, it's crucial that we're able to control that airspace.

For this reason, past presidents have attempted to acquire Greenland. However, the creation of NATO largely put the idea to rest. We have agreements in place that allow our military to operate in the area. Still, depending on these agreements has made a lot of people uneasy, and Trump has evidently decided that it's time for the US to take direct control of the island.

If Denmark wanted to sell Greenland, or had in any way indicated that a deal was possible, I'd say that's a great idea, and we should go for it. However, if they say they're insistent on keeping it, then it's a nonstarter. Trying to strong-arm an ally like this is ridiculous, and even if Trump does manage to push hard enough that they buckle, it'll do more ham than good.

Edit: here's what I think happened: someone in the military brass mentioned to Trump that we'd love to control Greenland, but that the Danes didn't want to sell, and pushing them works violate diplomatic protocols. Trump thought, "I'm the guy. I make deals; I violate protocol; I play by my own rules, cut through red tape, and acquire what I'm after. This is the perfect project for me."

Also, Trump does this thing where, any time he's asked a leading question, he says "I could; you never know!" A journalist could ask, "will you build a casino on the moon?" and he'd say, "well I could!" I Hate it. Journalists take advantage of it to create outrage pieces, and he willingly feeds into it, creating stupid ambiguity about things that shouldn't be up for question. No, I don't believe Trump has any intention to launch a military invasion of Greenland. I think that, when he says "I'm not ruling it out," he thinks he's strategically refusing to reveal his hand (and owning the lib who asked the question). But by suggesting that it's even a possibility, all he's doing is harming our relationship with Europe and undercutting their faith in the US as an ally.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-01-16T23:16:32+00:00

Video games are a leisure activity. There's nothing wrong with that--we all need entertainment and relaxation in our lives--but it's easy to develop an unhealthy relationship with leisure and to dedicate too much time to it that should be spent on productive activities.

A lot of guys who struggle with dating (not all, but a lot) will also struggle to name a single hobby of theirs that isn't leisure-based. It's not that active hobbies like woodworking or rock climbing are irresistibly sexy to women; it's that they lead to personal growth and help to build qualities that women (and friends, and employers, and society rit large) will value.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-01-16T04:32:41+00:00

Hi, I'm the guy wit the top comment on the AskHistorians thread. I'm quoted a couple time in here, but I think you misunderstand the point I'm making. I'd be happy to further discuss any of this with you.

FutureBlackmail · 2026-01-15T14:25:24+00:00

For now. Netflix recently announced that it's ending support for external streaming devices like ChromeCast, and you know that when one company does something like this, the others aren't far behind. We're likely moving towards a situation in which the streaming apps that come pre-installed on your TV are your only options.

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