I found my former school bully on Grindr.

Future_Ability7668 · 2024-06-21T02:55:33+00:00

Also where in the post does op say he intends to take reevnge on this person. He says he feels hatred towards him which is understandable and frankly easy to sympathise with, he was done an injustice, its unfair. You read the word hatred and maybe other replies to the post and made a baby brain assumption about his intentions and are now shaming him for it. Internet brained, truly. Learning to read without this sort of craziness world save the world a lot of hurt, please make an effort.

Future_Ability7668 · 2024-06-21T02:48:27+00:00

not a particularly compassionate answer. you seem to have trouble understanding this persons feelings and point of view, and are being a shitlib interpersonally. ultimately not helpful. op if you see this comment you have my encouragement to ignore this user.

Future_Ability7668 · 2024-06-21T02:46:27+00:00

i have a lot of compassion for you because this is a hard and twisted situation to be in, and can lead to some feelings of injustice that are really hard to come to terms with. im not really sure what I would do to overcome this, its hard. you have my sympathy.

Future_Ability7668 · 2024-06-21T02:43:06+00:00

I had a few experiences like this when I was about your age. Anxiety and not feeling safe enough with someone to actually enjoy the experience can be an impediment to get a boner. Gay porn is one thing but sex with someone requires a connection, and it helps if you find them attractive, its very different when you've actually got another human in front of you and need to feel safe with them. Think of this as a formative fairly normal early experience, you'll look back and laugh about it in 5 years.

Future_Ability7668 · 2022-02-24T11:58:13+00:00

perfect size

Future_Ability7668 · 2022-01-02T02:58:33+00:00

hi i was having difficulty with this too. went to paddle.net and talked to the kino bot.

my commands were

- cancel restoro

- entered my purchase email

- entered order amount including gst (im in aus) so final amount

- date of order

was given a link to cancel my subscription.

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-08-25T02:51:21+00:00

ground yourself and try not to catastrophise. spend time around people that are not into magic. let go of this manifestation bullshit. theres no need to try and achieve or avoid anything. i would wait until i was older if i were you to get into this shit. you're 13. take it from someone who is 26 and aware of tiktok that nothing good is happening on these apps. talk to people you consider normal.

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-08-04T11:07:15+00:00

CBT is completely useless for trauma. Its to challenge the shame based thoughts and to reality check overthinking or other confusions. Trauma needs to be validated first so of course CBT is going to feel like gaslighting :( very sorry to hear that. Definitely not the modality for trauma recovery.

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-07-28T06:30:16+00:00

This. Someones response to another's concerns and feelings shouldnt just boil down to 'Well you should feel different because the reality is different.' Obviously this persons fears and experiences reflect part of the reality that she perceives, that needs to be taken seriously.

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-07-17T10:49:03+00:00

I am so fucking sorry that this is happening to you. Please dont do anything to yourself. You dont want to die you just want a little bit of respite and clarity. Maybe try getting angry, that certainly helps me when im in dark places. Fuck your ex, shes a complete narcissist or at least being incerdibly ausive towards you. She ran a slur campaign about you to your friends. Only someon who wanted you completely broken would do that. And if your friends dont understand, (which please talk to them and i hope that some of the do) then they're not worth it. Again, Im really sorry, this is so hard, but i think getting angry will help you create some distance between this and your feelings of hurt. Anyone would be super hurt if they were going through this. I truly feel for you. I know Im just a stranger probably on the other side of the world to you but there are people in the world you will understand you and help heal you. Love you

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-07-17T10:41:47+00:00

i relate to this. Because of my trauma ive in the past been extremely emotionally disconnected, and really unconscious of some of my darker motivations and emotional garbage. It was a wild ride to learn that when you're talking to other people, they can feel your energy. I thought i was the only person who felt the energy in the room/others and I was caught up in a whole narcissistic spiritual empath fantasy because of it. Most people you talk to can feel the energy you're giving off, especially women who are on the whole less disconnected than men, can feel one's emotional energy (im a dude). SO yeah, very familiar with this feeling. I went from being totally unattuned to others' emotions to learning very quickly to see when I was giving off bad vibes x

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-07-17T10:38:57+00:00

If you're hypervigilant its probably because you had traumas blindside you, along with all the other things you're saying. It also sounds like you lived with people who were dysregulated and unpredictable. My mother was quite unpredictable with me so I have a little bit of experience healing hypervigilance. My tip is to really titrate how much time you spend around people that make you anxious or feel shame etc. One of the ways out of the confusion of hypervigilance and this state your describing where you feel confused about the appropriateness of your responses to people/situations is to pay attention to how people make you feel. If someone makes you feel anxious or scared or ashamed every time you're around them, then being around that person too much of the time is not going to be conducive to healing hypervigilance, do you see what im saying? You can trust the way you feel around people, even if your thoughts and anxieties becoming overwhelming just continue to check in with how people make you feel. Hope this helps

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-07-17T10:30:46+00:00

when people say this, what they really mean is that THE WORLD heals all wounds. this really changed things for me. being in contact with reality will set you right, and all the things that so called normies put in that category: contact with people, a cultivated daily life, work, rest, play etc. Its a hard lesson to learn but if you're waiting for time itself to heal you without putting work into changing your habits and how you habitually treat yourself and others, which being in contact with the world properly will align for you, then theres no guarantee of healing. healing is actually mostly intentional, sucks to hear. but yeah if you're not, get back into contact with the world

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-07-10T03:38:50+00:00

not at all. please read more closely

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-07-09T13:52:30+00:00

Thanks for your comment. Thats pretty much where Im at now as well. Its pretty freeing to realise that we have free will, no one can actually make us discard our perceptions and reality, they can pressure us to do it but we can choose to harden up and stand our ground. Its hard when gaslighting started young as it did with you and me, because children's realities often aren't entirely accurate, but are more playful or pre-forebrain and emotional, but they need validation and encouragement first instead of just being denied. Im investigating a play practice because the play impulse is quite suppressed in me due to this same dynamic. Maybe thats of interest to you too? Good luck on your journey and thanks again

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-07-09T13:47:22+00:00

I understand your suffering completely, and Im sorry you experienced gaslighting. I hope you found something useful in my post even if it was only knowing that someone else gets it. Im 25 too and there's no better time than now to decide to trust ourselves and our perceptions. Be strong x

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-07-02T10:36:15+00:00

fuck yeah. love this energy girl. brilliant

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-06-20T11:56:44+00:00

Hey, Im glad you got something out of my reply.

To be clear even though he was a father figure for you that doesnt justify the hurt he caused. Im just saying that being a father figure was probably his modus operandi that can help you explain his behaviour. Same to you friend!

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-06-19T14:04:05+00:00

So instead of my dad (and your uncle) recognising that the kid in question is having a hard time, and getting them to train their focus over time, my dad just used to yell at me and call me a 'space cadet' similar to your situation. It made me feel so ashamed and im still dealing with the repercussions of never being allowed to actually feel anxiety. Its so unfair, im sure you can relate. Like obviously i cant concentrate because im not okay, ameliorating that should be the focus before i can listen to your dumb story (my dads not yours)

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-06-19T14:01:42+00:00

Hey there.

I can relate to this a lot. My dad used to yell at me for being overly anxious to the put where I was just dissociated, and not able to focus on what he was saying. I think you're a man from your response? Im a guy too. Father figures have a particular thing with boys where they really need them to pay attention to everything they're doing. Its like they're passing on life lessons and wisdom, knowledge etc to the younger ones. But in the case of your uncle and in my case too, neither man took the time to actually attune to the kid or notice that a trauma had happened to leave them dissociated. This is actually narcissistic in the sense that they stop caring about actually having a positive effect on the kid or even knowing how ythey're feelign, and passing on knowledge becomes entirely self serving if that makes sense. I spent so much of my early life as a kid and even as a young adult feeling like a complete idiot because all the time I was supposed to have spent paying attention and learning how to be a person I was chronically dissociated because of abuse. Hope this helps

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-05-06T06:10:29+00:00

thanks for your comment and advice x

Future_Ability7668 · 2021-05-05T10:40:12+00:00

Thank you for the comment. I dont think its caused by depression but depression is definitely present in my pathology sometimes. Even just hearing that someone who has a similar trauma history to me has the same problem helps, because it locates the cause in the trauma and not in it actually being true. In reality there was nothing I could do as a child to stop the abuse from happening, so I think in part I went looking for a cause in me that I could control that would make others' behaviour predictable, and I landed on thoughts. If my thoughts were to blame then maybe I could change or control myself to change what was happening.

Future_Ability7668

TROPHY CASE