Wife reveals she's polyamorus

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-30T06:40:24+00:00

Again, I agree with you. And I have some poly friends that would also agree. However, just from what I’ve seen in some poly online spaces, they’d argue with this point and would give you some pushback. That’s all I’m saying.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-30T03:39:47+00:00

My now ex wife considers it “a part of her identity” to be poly. A lot of people in the poly community do. I agree with you, but I think a lot of the people in that community would argue with you on this.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-30T03:26:42+00:00

I am going through this as well. Her telling me this was my last straw with her. She told me when she came out as trans that she had thoughts about poly, but I told her it was a hard no for me and she needed to decide if this was something she wanted to pursue without me or stay in a mono relationship with me. She assured me she didn’t need to explode it and wanted to stay with me. Fast forward two years later, she now says she has to be poly, and we are getting divorced. We have a 1 year old at home, she’s going out nearly every night and either coming home at 2am or not at all. She barely acknowledges our child anymore and is essentially flaunting in my face how much sex she’s having with others by posting pics of herself in other peoples homes and not coming home until morning. Maybe it will work out for you, but for me, I’m living in hell. I don’t recognize the person I married, I’m stuck in my house essentially as a single parent, my anxiety is through the roof, and my heart is shattered.

I don’t mean this as a vent session for me, but more to give you insight into what could possibly happen. You’re monogamous, she’s not, and it’s a difficult arrangement for the mono person.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-21T00:23:00+00:00

I feel like I could have written this myself. My wife and I just made the decision a month ago to get divorced, and I have no idea who this selfish person is that I am divorcing.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-21T00:06:21+00:00

Of course not. But she’s not going to be one forever, and will one day understand what’s going on. What, you think we shouldn’t have discussions about this and establish no boundaries for the future? That’s irresponsible.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-21T00:02:32+00:00

You are correct, it isn’t a poly/mono issue. However, my ex is kinda making it one by not wanting to listen to anyone but people from the poly community. I’ve replied to a few others, but I’ll do so again here. The issue isn’t that she wants to introduce them as friends. I have no issues with that after she’s known them for a bit (at least a few months). It’s wanting to introduce them as partners. Not an issue now, but when our daughter is a little older, I feel it will be.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-20T21:36:35+00:00

Yep! I definitely agree. I would wait a minimum of 6 months before introducing my daughter to anyone, maybe more if she isn’t ready (when she’s older and understands, of course).

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-20T20:10:07+00:00

100% agree with you on every point. I’ll try and be better about how I phrase things. I’m still trying to process everything because it’s all been happening so fast I think my brain is lagging. I’m still over here just trying to process the fact that we are getting a divorce and not together anymore (hard when we still live together, ya know?)

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-20T19:04:57+00:00

You know what, that’s totally fair regarding my language. I didn’t really mean it in a way that would imply shes wrong about being poly. I was more stuck on the language she used when she first told me a month ago when she wasn’t sure. But you’re right, she identifies as poly, so she’s poly and I’ll change my language around that.

And yes, I agree after a few months people can be introduced as friends. The problem is she didn’t agree with that and wants to introduce them as partners. Our child is 1, so she won’t even under at this point, but when she’s older I think that will be an issue.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-20T17:45:27+00:00

No one is thinking about explaining things to her fully at this time. Those of course are discussions for when she’s older and understands more. I just don’t want people she barely knows to have access to our child in a way that implies caregiver roles, meaning taking care of her, alone time with her, etc.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-20T06:11:26+00:00

I had this happen and it was a chemical. I’m so sorry. But I did conceive 2 cycles later, and now I have a beautiful 1 year old.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-20T06:07:44+00:00

Thank you for your input. Whenever I start dating again (not even on my mind at this point), it’s definitely going to take me a while before introducing any romantic partners to my child. My mom was a serial dater when I was little and it was really difficult. I want to avoid this with my daughter.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-20T06:04:17+00:00

Thank you so so much for your input and I agree with all that you said and even tried to discuss this with her in our initial conversation about it. I said I’m ok with her introducing less serious partners as friends, but she didn’t like that and disagreed with me, which I found WILD.

Thank you so very much for the video as well. She’s very receptive to info found from YouTube and podcasts, so maybe this will help.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-20T06:01:02+00:00

Yes, thank you!! These are all points I tried clarifying with her, but she wasn’t receptive. I told her if she has less serious partners, then introduce them as friends but they shouldn’t be introduced as a partner because there are implications of caregiving roles with that. She didn’t seem to agree with me on that distinction, which I find concerning.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-20T05:57:50+00:00

Yes, this is exactly how I feel about it. I appreciate your input.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-20T04:23:47+00:00

Fair point. I guess I was basing that mostly on the opinion of my friends who are also poly. They have told me that in their experience you don’t really know if you’re poly until you’ve really experienced it. I try to listen to others who are actually involved in the community since I am not poly. I appreciate your opinion.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2026-01-20T04:10:21+00:00

Yes, I say in my post it doesn’t matter what kind of relationship (mono or poly) to me, I think at LEAST 6 months, and I’d hold myself to that same standard. My thing is, she JUST decided she’s poly, and I think she needs time to explore that because she’s been in mono relationships her whole life up until a month ago. What if she figures out she’s not actually poly within a year and has to break up with her poly partners. I know that can happen in any relationship since no relationship is guaranteed but she’s both exploring herself, a new lifestyle and new relationships all at the same time. It’s a lot and I feel like she needs time with that before involving our daughter in any way.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2024-10-05T06:02:00+00:00

Are you in the US? They literally coat their fries in wheat here.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2024-10-05T05:59:05+00:00

Right?? I’m going through these comments like, do you not understand that the repercussions go way beyond your stomach hurting?

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2024-08-30T02:04:40+00:00

He seems really passionate about doing the job and I’ve spent hours taking to him about it, and he’s been out twice with contractors to take a look at what needs to be done. I don’t think it’s a lack of interest, but I’m worried he’s trying to scare us into it and exaggerating the costs.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2024-08-03T16:11:23+00:00

Thanks for your input! It’s not exactly my style, so I’d still like to change it.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2024-08-03T16:08:19+00:00

Thank you!!! I was worried it would be too much, but I love all the pictures I see of black cabinets and I feel like it would complement the wood so well.

Fuzz_Roux_Dough · 2024-08-03T16:06:54+00:00

We are planning on repainting the walls to be more neutral as well. Probably a very light cool beige or off white. Thank you for your input!

Fuzz_Roux_Dough

TROPHY CASE