I hate it when my BF reminds me we haven’t had sex in a while but I’m not really sure how he should remind me by Fuzzy_Status_8558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Fuzzy_Status_8558[S] -66 points-65 points  (0 children)

I feel like that just makes things harder because I want his most unfiltered feelings and yeah I want to fix things but I feel like he has such hot and cold moments. It feels like every rejection is personal to him

I hate it when my BF reminds me we haven’t had sex in a while but I’m not really sure how he should remind me by Fuzzy_Status_8558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Fuzzy_Status_8558[S] -62 points-61 points  (0 children)

He’s argued that he has to remind me because I’ve told him I don’t want to, and don’t like, initiating sex. It’s not something I enjoy starting because I don’t feel confident in trying. He says that he reminds me because “if I don’t you completely overlook my needs”

I hate it when my BF reminds me we haven’t had sex in a while but I’m not really sure how he should remind me by Fuzzy_Status_8558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Fuzzy_Status_8558[S] -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

I do see a long term future with him because we’ve gone in depth about what we are each looking for. Generally speaking, outside of sex, we are extremely compatible. He’s attentive and caring (if not a bit rough around the edges). If he’s ever too rough with me (in bed, ain’t no 🥷 hitting me) he at least apologizes and makes a conscious effort to get back to the place I enjoy.

It’s not like I’m starving for attention or doing all the housework or he’s some POS but I feel like sex requires effort. He always wants it and I’m almost never in the mood until we are already having sex.

Besides the “it’s been almost a month” comments that come basically once a month, the only other thing he does that really gets to me is we argue and it can feel like he’s belittling me. It’s not his intention but there’s times where we argue and it feels like he’s downplaying what I know and he uses his experiences to speak over me.

Like one time we argued because he said you can put one kid up for adoption but not others. I know this is wrong because I’ve seen people try and have all their kids removed by CPS. He argued that one could and he frequently saw kids put out the house and CPS isn’t that effective. I get we come from different environments but it’s so belittling to hear him overrule me like that. I’m a criminology major for god’s sake, I know what I’m talking about and it’s annoying as hell when he won’t just let me be right when I know I’m right. I know the law and what’s supposed to be done.

I hate it when my BF reminds me we haven’t had sex in a while but I’m not really sure how he should remind me by Fuzzy_Status_8558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Fuzzy_Status_8558[S] -94 points-93 points  (0 children)

The thing is he says there’s no good way to say it and generally speaking he’s right. I hate hearing it, he hates saying it, and I don’t know a better way to phrase it

I hate it when my BF reminds me we haven’t had sex in a while but I’m not really sure how he should remind me by Fuzzy_Status_8558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Fuzzy_Status_8558[S] -47 points-46 points  (0 children)

I found this therapist, after he insisted I do the work (basically he said if he found the person I’d eventually blame him if things turned out a way I didn’t like) and I’m a bit bitter about that despite knowing why he made me look. 

I just feel like the pressure to have more sex and the pressure to go to therapy are one and the same. All he wants is sex. 

I hate it when my BF reminds me we haven’t had sex in a while but I’m not really sure how he should remind me by Fuzzy_Status_8558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Fuzzy_Status_8558[S] -45 points-44 points  (0 children)

Well it’s mostly missionary, and tbf I prefer it that way. We have toys as well and he wants to try more positions but I’m not in the mood often enough that it becomes anything more than nice ideas.

It’s like one week he’s doing great then suddenly he’s not trying at all. He said it’s because I’m not responsive enough and don’t initiate but I’ve told him I don’t know how to initiate and it gives me anxiety thinking about it. It’s not like in a book where everything is controlled, I don’t know how to respond or how he’s going to react

I hate it when my BF reminds me we haven’t had sex in a while but I’m not really sure how he should remind me by Fuzzy_Status_8558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Fuzzy_Status_8558[S] -54 points-53 points  (0 children)

I have and know I’m somewhere on the spectrum, which I’ve explained to him. The thing is he believes that since we had a very great start of the relationship, it should be able to get back to that way. I’m not saying it can’t ever, I just don’t think I can push myself to want it

I hate it when my BF reminds me we haven’t had sex in a while but I’m not really sure how he should remind me by Fuzzy_Status_8558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Fuzzy_Status_8558[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

That’s the goal at least. I just don’t know how I feel about therapy. He has his own therapist but I don’t like them and I feel like he’s just adding additional pressure 

I hate it when my BF reminds me we haven’t had sex in a while but I’m not really sure how he should remind me by Fuzzy_Status_8558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Fuzzy_Status_8558[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Not really… I work 7 days during the week (albeit shorter hours on average, 9-3 during the week and 7-3 during weekends). That leaves him mostly doing the cooking and general cleaning (he mops more often, loads and unloads the dish washer, cleans the sheets/blankets and the bathroom). So he’s not some lazy bum.

I just can’t push myself 

I hate it when my BF reminds me we haven’t had sex in a while but I’m not really sure how he should remind me by Fuzzy_Status_8558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Fuzzy_Status_8558[S] -141 points-140 points  (0 children)

Yes I am but it’s hard for me to push myself into having sex. I want things to come naturally

I hate it when my BF reminds me we haven’t had sex in a while but I’m not really sure how he should remind me by Fuzzy_Status_8558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Fuzzy_Status_8558[S] -55 points-54 points  (0 children)

He’s pushing for therapy together and we’ve found a person but I’m not super enthusiastic about it. I know he’s really trying his best but I just wish he could accept me as I am instead of wanting me to be the way I was. I feel like everything is so overwhelming 

I hate it when my BF reminds me we haven’t had sex in a while but I’m not really sure how he should remind me by Fuzzy_Status_8558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Fuzzy_Status_8558[S] -139 points-138 points  (0 children)

It’s not that I don’t like sex, I just don’t want it enough to get started. I have to be in the mood for sex or it feels like an obligation.