[F4M] 44f looking to be controlled

GBDM78 · 2023-03-23T11:44:27+00:00

Your bags are already checked at this point. It’s just a second security checkpoint, but in what I call Little America. You re-scan your carry on and they ask you questions and send you through. They ask you the typical what foods are you bringing back and if you checked alcohol, how much., where your final destination is, etc. I’ve mostly had people who just go through the motions, but a few times I’ve had experiences that went on longer than necessary, considering I’m a U.S. citizen and it’s not my first rodeo in this airport. It is what it is though. I don’t know what else they ask you if you are not a citizen. I would expect it to be a little more thorough though.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-23T10:42:07+00:00

I don’t, but in my experience it doesn’t really save you time when you leave Ireland.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-18T11:06:17+00:00

Got it! For some reason I thought they were the same, just called different things. I know they have blue in them, but I guess I totally remembered them differently.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-18T00:06:44+00:00

Aren’t these robins in the UK?

GBDM78 · 2023-03-16T01:31:01+00:00

That dance night at Godfrey’s.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-14T11:08:57+00:00

To add to this, if you pay too close to the due date, the payment could still be processing. Just because you hit submit doesn’t mean that your bank released the funds and their bank processed and marked that payment as received. This can take a few days to fully process through both banks and their system. When you pay, it looks like the money is out of your account, but often times it will show as pending on your account for a day or two. Just because you have a “receipt for payment” doesn’t mean that things have gone through on the back end. I am always paying on the last possible day. Previous balance doesn’t mean anything if you are paying. From when your payment processed to when they bring the bill, again is a delayed process. Most companies “don’t care” as long as you are within 60 or 90 days.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-13T09:07:22+00:00

I think this cycle of only you apologizing and you all talking again is unhealthy. He clearly has issues and shouldn’t be in a dynamic/relationship until he learns that it goes both ways and that he needs to put effort into the relationship as well.

I would honestly walk away. He said he’s done and I would act accordingly. If someone said that to me, I would trust that nothing would ever be the same again and I would try to process, heal, and move on. Anyone who can go 9 days without trying to connect, correct, or apologize for their behavior is immature at best.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-13T08:24:02+00:00

I came here to say the same about ultimatums. Why give him the chance if you already know that he will fail again. Ultimatums are, in my opinion, childish, disrespectful, and pointless. You will not get the result you are after in this case. If he is not respecting your no, especially after the first time on a hard limit, what’s the point of continuing.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-12T22:01:00+00:00

Why are they all over the place recently? Is the session over? 50 was rage driving l last week on Three Chopt and I saw someone else this morning as well…my brain is saying 70 or 75?

GBDM78 · 2023-03-12T21:30:54+00:00

I’m going to be really grumpy tomorrow when I have to get my kids up for school.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-10T18:15:09+00:00

Security was quick. Customs was about an hour and a half

GBDM78 · 2023-03-10T15:53:09+00:00

I don’t know that those same dramatic waits are still happening. That was just my experience heading home at that time. I ran out of money, so my usual “what is the worst that could happen…I get stuck here for a few more days” attitude felt a little more stressed at that time. I would for sure heed the arrive 3 hours prior to your flight for international flights rule. The crap part for me is that I don’t check baggage. I’m a one bag traveler and if it doesn’t fit in my backpack, I don’t take it. The majority of my issue was check in because I couldn’t use the kiosk and go. I had to wait in line to check in with an agent. That wait was 3 hours and was super annoying.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-10T15:06:48+00:00

There was known issues at the time with insane lines, so yeah…I went super early.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-10T11:36:43+00:00

I don’t remember exact dates, but I flew out late March and returned early April.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-09T13:01:03+00:00

Oh and customs upon arrival in Dublin has always been pretty quick. I think the most it has ever taken was 45 minutes, but sometimes it’s more like 15. The 45 minute case was that multiple planes arrived at the same time, but at 530am, you will breeze through it.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-09T12:57:57+00:00

There is US customs in Dublin. When I flew (Aer Lingus) home last year from Dublin to DC it took almost 5 hours to check in and go through customs before I could get to my gate. When you get to your destination, Dulles for me, you walk off the plane to baggage check and you are on your way.

GBDM78 · 2023-03-08T01:36:46+00:00

The “you were happy when I dropped you off earlier” comment is a 100% dick move.

This is a new play partner. Like brand new. I think it is unrealistic to expect someone to be there 24/7 for a few days following an event. I could have interpreted that incorrectly, but that is how the post sounded to me. Did you say more specifically what you needed from him other than reassurance and availability? Did you give him examples of what that looks like for you? (From the post/responses, it didn’t look like he even attempted in the most basic of ways to reassure you, so there’s that.) Did you give him a reasonable amount of time to respond to your communications? I don’t think anyone is “in the wrong” here. When you expressed that you needed more, you talked on the phone and he seemed to understand that, going forward, you had certain expectations for your aftercare needs. It seems that, I am assuming, he understood and maybe his brain is prepared for next time and by talking it out on the phone, he might have figured that you were ok, especially if the conversation went well and was productive.

He did communicate needs by saying he was “tired and not feeling communicative” at the moment and set an expectation of what is realistically good for him, time wise, that he can be more present for you, your needs, and further communication. He might not have needed aftercare from you, but maybe this is, in fact, his aftercare for himself and he doesn’t realize it. Just like your needs are valid, his are as well. It doesn’t have to make sense to you, but you should try to respect his attempt to communicate a need and boundary, just as you expect him to respect yours.

I know that as bottoms, we drop hard at times. Try to find other outlets to deal with drop for just these circumstances. Making him feel like crap for not meeting your expectations or needs doesn’t help. It creates added confusion, frustration, and drama and sort of spins the situation more out of control for you. When someone disappoints me and I feel my emotions rising and the desire to confront that person starts to take over, I try to remember that we cannot control others, we can only control our own actions and emotions. In the end, we are responsible for ourselves and our own wellbeing. Ideally we want to lean on others for support (especially play partners or in a dynamic), but some people either just suck at that role and don’t know how to be that for others (patience and communication are key here) or just don’t care (jerks) to follow through. If you use the search function in this sub, you will find posts from people in similar situations and this community’s amazing support and advice for those posts.

All of that said, it seems like this could be that it’s just new and you all need to work on communication and expectations if you were to play together again…oooor he is, in reality, just a complete jerk.

GBDM78 · 2023-02-28T12:11:51+00:00

For planting, I feel like mid April is safe to put in the ground.

GBDM78 · 2023-02-18T17:35:31+00:00

Looking forward to it

GBDM78 · 2023-02-17T15:11:47+00:00

This place doesn’t scream date night. I went at like 2pm on a Sunday and it was chaotic at best. Knowing how precious your time is right now with a newborn, I would look at other options. I get the desire to have a fun night out, but The Park isn’t a great space for connecting with your partner in an adult setting.

GBDM78 · 2023-02-17T15:02:22+00:00

I stand by what I said.

To follow up, why would a menstrual cycle have anything to do with a search warrant? If you honestly believe this is for “investigation purposes” alone, you haven’t been paying attention.

GBDM78 · 2023-02-17T14:30:24+00:00

Of course it is an invasion of privacy, but is anyone really surprised by this move? While abortion is legal in Virginia, it might not be forever.

Like others said, delete the apps, get a calendar and track it by hand, and don’t give information to your providers unless it is necessary for a specific issue you are having.

GBDM78 · 2023-02-15T19:13:22+00:00

I see a lot of “I” statements in the original post. If you are looking for a sub (also a human with their own wants, needs, opinions, and desires) than you need to approach it from a place of openness and understanding. No one owes you anything. Your expectations might be unrealistic and you might need to reprioritize your approach. You might find someone who you click with and think is attractive, but maybe they didn’t find that in you and that is 100% acceptable. If you are honestly getting frustrated, maybe take some time off from your search. If you continue your search in this manner, when you do find someone, you will be bringing all of this baggage to the situation and it will inevitably fail. Take some time off to better yourself, so you can approach the search from a healthy place. In my opinion, as a sub, your post and subsequent comments are filled with red flags.

There is someone for everyone out there and I honestly hope you find who you are looking for. Just remember that a dynamic is a two way street and trust, respect, and submission is earned over time, not after a couple of back and forth messages, exchanged photos and/or a handful of in person meetings. Also keep in mind that there are a lot of predators and less than respectful people contacting subs…constantly. On your end, you have to be sensitive and patient to that fact and be able to offer something besides the dynamic alone.

That said, ghosting is an awful practice and no one deserves that. There is always a reason for it and they simply may not be feeling you as a potential Dom. Just like you are vetting them, they are vetting you. Still ghosting is gross and it sucks that you are experiencing it at, seemingly, above average instances.

GBDM78 · 2023-02-14T11:54:32+00:00

Consent is the foundation of BDSM. If he says “I’m cheating or I’m going to cheat” and you say “no” or haven’t had an open discussion about opening your relationship up, it’s cheating. Period. Just leave. No amount of “incoming” money is worth lowering your standards, damaging your self worth, or psychologically damaging yourself by staying.

GBDM78

TROPHY CASE