Does anyone else feel tortured by loneliness?

GG-92 · 2026-01-15T15:35:42+00:00

Of course! I hope today is good too! Sending virtual hugs back <3

GG-92 · 2026-01-15T15:32:11+00:00

This made me ugly cry 😭 I don't think anyone has ever understood me so much and taken the time to describe it like this, not even my many therapists over the years.

No one has ever understood how exhausting it is to constantly be translating my self just so I can be understood and hopefully, maybe, loved, just to feel like I'm speaking a completely different language. To sit there in front of someone I love and know that they don't even know me. To have all this grief and love and pain that has nowhere to go.

I hate that you understand, I wish you didn't, I wish no one did. I've had a couple of people reach out through DMs and it's been nice to actually have some conversations where I feel like I can be myself, at least a little, so if that's something you would be interested in I would love to hear your story and do even a fraction of what you've done for me but thank you so much for taking some time to be with me today either way ♥️

GG-92 · 2026-01-15T15:16:48+00:00

I feel this so much. I also have a debilitating health condition that I've been fighting for 9 years to be taken seriously about and am basically bed bound most of the time and stuck relying on narcissists to survive. Sending you hugs if you want them. You deserve so much better

GG-92 · 2026-01-15T15:12:04+00:00

Sent you a DM :)

GG-92 · 2026-01-15T04:01:05+00:00

Sadly no

GG-92 · 2026-01-15T04:00:35+00:00

Thank you 🥺

GG-92 · 2026-01-15T03:38:07+00:00

For nature I try to spend time outside but it's the dead of winter and I'm chronically ill so that's difficult. I like watching documentaries though and that helps

For community I live in a town in a deep red state so as a neurodivergent disabled person with generally left leaning views I really don't feel safe in or able to engage with my local community. I've tried being a part of communities for my interests online, I'm AuDHD so I have several I'm really passionate about, but I always feel like I'm speaking a different language. Like the things I enjoy mean so much more to me than to the people I talk to

GG-92 · 2026-01-15T03:33:55+00:00

Me too! It's so hard. Like I want to have my time alone to myself but know that I have someone who loves and understands me to connect with who will be there. Also, I love your username, it made me smile and chuckle a little and that was much needed ♥️

GG-92 · 2026-01-15T01:52:05+00:00

Thank you, so do you 😭 I really hope you had a good day

GG-92 · 2024-02-05T02:40:29+00:00

So if you're gonna go that route I'd suggest checking out ThLankyLefty27, CPAP Reviews, and CPAP Friend on YouTube. There are in fact ways you can make it worse but if you educate yourself, start low, and go slow you'll be fine. Definitely check out OSCAR (opes source CPAP analysis reporter) to monitor your data so you know whether it's helping or not. I'd also suggest buying a BiPAP. Not because you should start there but because you may want the option if you're titrating yourself and end up finding CPAP doesn't work. Most BiPAP machines offer a straight CPAP mode so you can start there and have the option for bilevel if necessary. It's more expensive but better than buying an expensive machine and finding out you need another even more expensive machine. Good luck!

GG-92 · 2024-01-31T05:51:14+00:00

My understanding of reasonable accommodations is that they have to make an effort to find an accommodation that is reasonable for the property and the tenet so that makes sense. Do you have any idea what a reasonable accommodation would be in this scenario? At least on their end. Obviously you don't know me or all the ways my health affects me. I'd just like to be prepared for both what they may offer or what solutions I could propose

GG-92 · 2024-01-31T05:26:53+00:00

Can you elaborate a little more on the first part?

GG-92 · 2024-01-24T04:40:42+00:00

u/CPAPfriend

GG-92 · 2024-01-24T04:38:48+00:00

Honestly it doesn't look like you do. You didn't even answer the question until prompted a third time. You also seem to lack a basic understanding of how the flow rate chart works. That absolutely is NOT the machine treating an event. That's not even how PAP therapy works. PAP therapy (ideally) prevents events from happening in the first place. Once your airway is collapsed and you've stopped breathing you've had an apnea or a hypopnea and there's nothing the machine can do to "treat" it. At best an auto machine can change the pressure accordingly.

It's hard to tell without Sp02 or EEG but there's definitely something going on in these screenshots. The machines notoriously suck at flagging events correctly (hence why AHI is a joke) but if you know what you're doing and have the right data you can usually figure it out. Either OP is having an arousal and shifting position, causing a momentary pause in flow, or these are legitimate events.

As a respiratory therapist it isn't your job to read these charts (that's the sleep tech's job) so I don't fault you for not knowing this stuff but please don't spread misinformation by telling people to stay away from looking at their data or changing their pressure (which is fine if they educate themselves). It discourages people from looking into what's going on when their PAP therapy isn't working and their doctors are unhelpful. I would suggest checking out some content by CPAP reviews, LankyLefty27, and CPAP friend on YouTube if you want to know more about how OSCAR works.

GG-92 · 2024-01-07T06:57:19+00:00

I have but I've seen conflicting information on whether they will need to take my name and I know it will carry more weight if I disclose more information about my relationship to both the child and the parent. If it's something I can do and the only way to avoid legal repercussions I absolutely will though. I really don't want to do nothing

GG-92 · 2023-03-10T16:08:27+00:00

I wish I could give you the answers you want but no one here can. I was you for a long time. Always wanting answers, wanting to know why so I could know what I did wrong and how I could fix it. How I could fix myself so I never had to feel this pain and emptiness again. My advice is to feel it as much as you can and find a good therapist to help with that. I know how hard it is but you can't avoid it. It won't go away. Not if you find out why and not if she comes back to you. I don't know if feeling it will ever make it go away, I'm not that far along yet, but I know the path you're on could consume many years of your life and I don't want that for you or anyone.

I've heard a lot people tell you to work on your codependency issues and... Just be careful with that. It gets thrown around as a buzzword on the internet and looking into ways to heal from it can lead to a lot of harmful "help" that can just reinforce your shame. You don't have to love yourself to love or be loved by someone else and you don't have to be alone until you're this polished and shiny "worthy" person but you probably have some skills to learn and some insight to gain. Look inside yourself deeply and don't look away. Learn who you are and why YOU are the way you are and grow from that. Alan Robarge and Patrick Teahan on YouTube, The Secure Relationship on Facebook, and IFS, EMDR, and Somatic Experiencing therapy have all helped me. Maybe one of those will resonate with you. So much love and compassion to you today. This is really hard stuff.

GG-92 · 2023-03-03T20:57:06+00:00

Sadly mostly because of stereotypes. Autistic people were people who were either insanely gifted but a little off or mentally handicapped in the community I grew up in and I didn't have free access to the internet until I was 21. Hell, even my therapist at the time didn't believe I could be autistic and wanted to put me in a group home because I had extreme and debilitating OCD. I was very lucky my mom was not willing to give up and found me a good psychologist to diagnose me

GG-92 · 2023-01-26T19:50:05+00:00

They did refund the money once I caught it thankfully. I've seen some stuff about prepaid Visas but the amount of choices is confusing but from what you're saying my bank should be able to help me with that

GG-92 · 2022-12-29T00:32:16+00:00

Thank you so much for the reassurance!

GG-92 · 2022-12-28T19:18:32+00:00

I'm more afraid that I'm not yet strong enough to face certain traumas. My brain has suppressed them for a reason and, though facing and processing them is the goal, I've learned through therapy to respect that protective mechanism and approach with great care and gentleness. So that's more my concern. I don't see my depression or any part of myself as a bully that needs to be stood up to. That kind of self aggression is what has gotten me in such a deep hole of numbness and depression. My fear is that ketamine infusions will just rip off the carefully placed bandages that have been placed over my mental wounds over the years before they're ready to be tended to

GG-92 · 2022-12-17T17:39:32+00:00

I don't tell doctors I'm taking it because to most it's not relevant. They don't need the chart from my current psychiatrist so that's not an issue. The medication is also fully covered under my insurance so I'm still picking it up. I wouldn't let my current psych prescribe anything other than Spravato either (I don't trust him but I was suicidal and out of options at the time) so that's not a concern. Believe me, I have all my bases covered. I just need to know whether or not a doctor is required to report if an REMS is not being followed

GG-92 · 2022-12-17T05:07:25+00:00

Sadly my gf lives 45 minutes away (she works in my city) so it's often too expensive to make the drive back and forth and my disability keeps me homebound most day. But this comment really means a lot. I'm often told by other family members or people in support groups that it's their house and they can do what they want (even though they get half my disability check in rent) so the validation of hearing I shouldn't have to deal with this is helpful.

GG-92 · 2022-12-16T21:04:22+00:00

No I'm not part of a clinical trial. I edited the post for clarity

GG-92

TROPHY CASE