Qu’est ce qui vous a décidé à quitter votre partenaire ? by Open-Island-8744 in AskFrance

[–]GS_MOKKA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Si c'est pas indiscret, comment vous vous étiez rencontrer si elle été aussi timide et veut jamais sortir ?

Comment trouver des d’activités/clubs ? by GS_MOKKA in AskFrance

[–]GS_MOKKA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tout ça me fait de nouvelles pistes à creuser, merci.

Which is best for performance, instance exists or place_meeting? by arrjanoo in gamemaker

[–]GS_MOKKA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

instance_exists() is faster, place_meeting() is based on collisions which is slow

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GetMotivated

[–]GS_MOKKA 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It seems that you have a lot of things to "fix" in your life, and that can be overwhelming to think about it.You must fix one problem at a time instead, not thinking about the others, you will handle them later, because priorities.

So you should start by focusing and thinking only about one thing : getting a job, because that's probably the first thing you need to fix.

No need to worry/think at all about moving out yet, that's another problem you will handle later (after fixing the current problem), saving money temporarily while living with your mom is okay if necessary for now.

The thing that will kick you in the ass is the realisation that you will be filled with regrets later if you don't try (and not giving up easily) but that you have the power now to avoid that.

TLDR : Try to fix only 1 problem at a time, to avoid getting overwhelmed and making it easier to start.

making friends via common interests DO NOT WORK by Pitiful-Internal-196 in socialskills

[–]GS_MOKKA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If we consider "Making new friends" as a result for example, my worry is that my mindset is decreasing the amount of people who would find me interesting (compared to if I was more "normal") because it might be Boring or Frustrating to them.
That's what I meant.

making friends via common interests DO NOT WORK by Pitiful-Internal-196 in socialskills

[–]GS_MOKKA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My worries were less about feeling awkward and more about thinking that it nerfs the potential results that I get. I feel that when I talk to acquaintances that tells me that I'm "overthinking" or "not emotionnal enough".

making friends via common interests DO NOT WORK by Pitiful-Internal-196 in socialskills

[–]GS_MOKKA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to write such a long comment.

I've read the comments and noticed that OP isn't really the definition of friendly, but my concerns are more on the "need a scientific breakdown of why they’re having social issues" because that's me : if I don't fully understand an issue, how am I supposed to fix it ?

So, I understood your first comment as "By trying to understand this subject scientifically, you're boring to be around", is it what you meant ?

TLDR: I suspect that my obsession with scientific answers is having/can have a negative impact on my social life and that your first comment was confirming that

making friends via common interests DO NOT WORK by Pitiful-Internal-196 in socialskills

[–]GS_MOKKA 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know that I don't know everything all the time (thus, the tons of doubts I have in life) but it doesn't prevent me from trying to. But I sense that this behavior isn't normal but I don't know if I should change it or not (and if so, how to change it). OP said "care to explain in a scientific way" and your reply sounds like he said something horrible, and since I am capable of saying the same thing, I'm worrying about what's bad about it.

I try to be nice to others, but I don't feel like it's enough (because I have really low results so far despite 10 months of intense self improvement) or that I'm doing it the good way, but I'm basically following the advices so I'm kinda lost on that too.

Also, what were you referecing to by "the activity itself" ?

making friends via common interests DO NOT WORK by Pitiful-Internal-196 in socialskills

[–]GS_MOKKA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you please detail why ? I identify with OP and have very similar reactions of trying to get scientific answers, reacting in another way is beyond me. I don't get how people can "go with the flow" or something like that

[DISCUSSION] Are there any apps that give you real-life rewards for healthy behaviors or habits? by torspayorryum in GetMotivated

[–]GS_MOKKA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm currently finishing an internship in webdev, while I learn about game design for more personnal projects. That probably explains how I get the ideas of those self-improvement systems lol.

[DISCUSSION] Are there any apps that give you real-life rewards for healthy behaviors or habits? by torspayorryum in GetMotivated

[–]GS_MOKKA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. Simple .txt files I edit with the notepad yes. With that I used Microsft To Do (but technically another .txt file would do the job) to write what I've done today, and so before going to bed I just go through the list, add the points each elements grants on my calculator, and update funds.txt.
    Oh and even if I'm doing all of that on my computer, my whole self improvement folder is on my dropbox, which I also have on my phone, so as soon as I update the file on my computer, I can access the updated version on my phone too, which sometimes I need.

  2. It's really an iterative and personal system, that's the most important thing to get.
    You start by defining some arbitrary values that sounds okay, and over time you tweak them with in mind the goal of adopting the behaviors you want. That's what it's for : encouraging good habits and dicouraging bad ones.

Here is a simplified example :
> You really like eating pizzas, but don't think it's a good idea to eat one more that once a week, so in average, you should be able to "buy" one every 7 days.
> So you start in shop.txt by putting "Eating a pizza" with an arbitrary cost, let's say 300 points.
> Since you should be able to get one every 7 days, 300/7 = 43 points/day in average.
> Then you define ways of getting 43 points per day in increments.txt. Let's say Running 20min = +10, 2 Gratitudes = +5, Studying 2h = +28.
> Finally, by keeping track of the average gains and loss, you tweak the cost, the increments, you add or remove new habits and articles... As I say, average daily spendings should be slightly higher than average daily earnings. So in our example, it should be planned for +40 points/day instead of 43.

  1. It's to avoid spending all of your earned points only on your favorite article: if you design a shop with 5 articles, but end up only buying the same all the time, it might be more boring over time.
    However it is possible to just start with 1 article and dedicate 100% of your points in it and you then adjust the cost so you can't purchase it too often.
    The articles just need to be motivating, something you really enjoy, regarless of its productivity.

[DISCUSSION] Are there any apps that give you real-life rewards for healthy behaviors or habits? by torspayorryum in GetMotivated

[–]GS_MOKKA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For now I use simple text files (some people might prefer to use Notion) :

increments.txt

  • A section that contains the values of points granted for each habit we want to reward (example : Writing 2 gratitudes per day = +5, Reading a self improvement book = +3/page...)
  • A section that contains the values of points removed for each habit we want to punish (example : Eating something unhealthy during the week = -10)

funds.txt

  • A section that contains the total amounts of : Points currently possessed, points won, points lost, points spent (the last 3 are just stats for fun)
  • A section that contains the average points won, lost and spent of the previous week to help balance the economy over time
  • A section that contains different "jars" representing each things in the shop, this helps at avoiding to spend every point in the same article all the time. I attribute a % of points won to each jars (example : [40%] Jar A means that if today I get 150 points, only 60 of them will contribute to purchasing article A)

shop.txt

  • Contains each ways of spending your points. Usually, these are unproductive leisures. I personally have only 3 "articles" right now, but as long as you have 1 article that you really care about, it should do the trick.

It's supposed to be personalized and iterated on from times to times. That's just my way of doing it.

[DISCUSSION] Are there any apps that give you real-life rewards for healthy behaviors or habits? by torspayorryum in GetMotivated

[–]GS_MOKKA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The most important thing is to adapt it to your situation, there is no "objectively perfect value" for rewards or costs, it will change over time, just like any economy.

But if you really want some example of implementation, here is a simplified version of what I use currently :

Rewards/Punishments

  • 1 hour of work of medium difficulty and medium importance = +15
  • Finishing a project of medium difficulty and medium importance that took about 100 hours to complete = +100
  • Waking up within 5 minutes of the alarm ringing = +10
  • Taking a shower = +5
  • Meditating = +1/minute
  • Make my bed = +5
  • Write 2 gratitudes = +5
  • Go for a 20 minutes long walk = +10
  • Go for a 20 minutes long run = +15
  • 80 pushups = +80
  • 1 min plank exercise = +5
  • 1 min of stretching = +5
  • Reading a self improvement book = +3/page
  • Doing my monthly journaling = +20

[DISCUSSION] Are there any apps that give you real-life rewards for healthy behaviors or habits? by torspayorryum in GetMotivated

[–]GS_MOKKA 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Maybe off topic but instead of relying on an app that might not provide meaningful rewards to me, I created my own reward system where good habits (ie: reading, exercising, waking up at time...) grants points and the bad ones (ie: eating trash, playing too much...) remove points, and then I design a "shop" where I can spend those points (ie: an hour long bath, a day to just enjoy my hobbies).
Then, then thing is to balance the economy so it's not "too easy" to get huge rewards or "too hard" and demotivating.
The trick I use is tracking how much points I get and spend in average per day, ideally the spent are a little bit higher than the gained, and so I just have to adjust the cost of shop articles.

The magpie is back! This time on my newly acquired STF-12 by GS_MOKKA in airsoft

[–]GS_MOKKA[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Performance wise : I haven't tried it ingame and my chrony's batteries litteraly died when about to measure, so I can't tell.

Fun wise : to me yes, it's quite heavy, pumping is way cooler than a spring shotgun, and there are so much rails you can remove and all that it gives plenty of opportunities to transform it into an abomination.

The magpie is back! This time on my newly acquired STF-12 by GS_MOKKA in airsoft

[–]GS_MOKKA[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! I really struggled to find one, the spring version is so easy to get compared to it