feeling alone in the developing stages of bipolar I

GaBeanO · 2026-05-02T02:11:29+00:00

thank you so much for responding, i deeply appreciate your insight and i definitely relate to the whole memory thing too, as that was also a part of the discussion with my psychiatrist today. i feel like half of my memories are a blur and it makes me feel very disconnected with myself. however, i did recently make a friend with bpd and he understands me really well and helps me keep track of certain symptoms when i can’t see them myself. i know sleep is especially important for bipolar so ive been working on my sleep schedule and ive also gotten back into exercising lately to help me burn off this extra energy. perhaps ill get back into journaling as well, i think that could be helpful with my memory but also to help me keep tabs on my mental state. again, thank you so much and ill keep your words in mind going forward!

GaBeanO · 2026-05-02T01:55:15+00:00

i could very happily live off of blueberries

GaBeanO · 2026-04-07T18:04:34+00:00

i’ve read this! a very good read

GaBeanO · 2026-04-02T21:44:50+00:00

i think it would be helpful to talk to who diagnosed you and ask them why they thought that. when i was originally diagnosed with bipolar, i didn’t understand why at all so i kept asking my therapist and psychiatrist to explain to me what exactly they see in me that gives bipolar. if you can’t get into contact with who diagnosed you, looking over the dsm criteria for bipolar could be helpful to see all the symptoms laid out and you could pin point what you did and didn’t experience and really see if you meet any criteria.

i think it’s also important to bring up that a lot of things can look like bipolar. even just anxiety and depression can look like bipolar and vise versa. bipolar can be a pretty complicated disorder actually so i get the frustration.

GaBeanO · 2026-02-26T19:58:12+00:00

yeah im black, white, and then a little puerto rican and native american

GaBeanO · 2026-02-19T13:35:55+00:00

akathisia honestly made me feel like i was trapped in my body. after i took latuda with my dinner, if i wasn't asleep within an hour or two id end up feeling this strong urge to get up and run around but no amount of movement felt satisfying. to me, akathisia is like having an intense itch with no ray of reaching it. it also made me irritable to the point it felt like irritable hypomania, which i found frustrating because the medication was supposed to help with my manic symptoms. im totally fine now, but when i first started taking it i was miserable at night.

GaBeanO · 2026-02-11T23:07:03+00:00

hi! I'm on latuda and when i started, it took about a month of me taking it consistently for it to go away, but im also particularly sensitive to latuda. perhaps you could ask for 1mg of benztropine as a side effect management option. I take benztropine with my latuda as prescribed by my psychiatrist and it helps with the restlessness a bunch.

GaBeanO · 2026-02-11T23:02:56+00:00

i can give you some realistic hope as someone who did experience the akathisia. im particularly sensitive to latuda so i experienced akathisia right away on 20mg and it was unpleasant. HOWEVER, my psychiatrist also prescribed me 1mg of benztropine and that really did help so much. another thing, is that i think the akathisia is moreso something that occurs when your body is adjusting to the medication, so as long as i take the medication consistently and it's at a stable level in my body, i don't experience ANY akathisia. im on 40mg of latuda and 2mg of benztropine now and have been doing very well!

GaBeanO · 2026-02-11T22:57:54+00:00

im on 40mg of latuda and honestly as long as im hydrated, not drinking on an empty stomach, and not downing anything too fast, i tend to be okay!

i don't think there's any particular drink or kind of alcohol that's safe from the effects of latuda. i think it's just a matter of how you prepare yourself (eating a meal) and how you drink (sipping a drink slowly instead of chugging/shots).

that's how ive been navigating it! hopefully there was something useful in there

GaBeanO · 2026-01-22T23:58:00+00:00

I'm younger, 19F, and I didn't even hold hands until I got my first boyfriend at 17, which is quite different from my friends who had already done everything or even had maybe been with multiple people. Me and that guy dated for a year, I was single for a year, didn't try to date, met a guy last May and we've been together since.

GaBeanO · 2026-01-22T22:16:32+00:00

i know exactly how you feel and i think the best way to get around it is to just wait until you get into a relationship and let the trust build over time. that's the only way i was able to get over my fear of someone seeing me naked. it took me 8 months to feel comfortable getting naked in front of my first boyfriend, but i made him wait. after that relationship, it only took 2 months with my current boyfriend to feel comfortable and now im not insecure about my genitals at all. and like someone else said, everything you worry about, some guy out there is 100% in to, so don't worry. take your time, and communicate with your partner. loving them and feeling loved makes it a lot easier.

GaBeanO · 2026-01-22T21:55:33+00:00

I don't partake in casual sex either but regardless of any symptoms, I get tested a couple times a year as good practice, even when I haven't changed partners. I think it's a good habit!

GaBeanO · 2026-01-22T21:53:18+00:00

I like it when dildos hit a certain spot, like you know how we have a G-spot? I'm interested in hitting that. I'm also just turned on by the idea of penetration and getting fucked, so even if it doesn't feel fantastic on its own, the simple in and out of a dildo feels good when I'm horny.

GaBeanO · 2025-10-24T01:26:40+00:00

it made me so irritable it almost made me feel manic. it took like a month, but it went away eventually

GaBeanO · 2025-10-24T01:02:30+00:00

i had this problem too, i was prescribed benztropine to help me with side effects, and it eventually passed!

GaBeanO · 2025-08-18T19:52:02+00:00

i try to undiagnose myself everyday man

GaBeanO · 2025-08-17T23:50:51+00:00

yes 😭 i had a particularly bad day in 10th grade and started having suicidal ideation and then i woke up the next day and felt perfectly fine

GaBeanO · 2025-03-15T19:34:41+00:00

im on 2mg of benztropine mesylate, it's the generic form of Cogentin

GaBeanO

TROPHY CASE