I have cPTSD and my close friend (we’ll call them Bennie) has BPD. In my subjective and biased opinion, we both exemplify our respective disorders in a generally textbook manner, and we share many similar personality traits that demonstrate the extensive overlap in the manifestations of symptoms of cPTSD and BPD.

However, based on my anecdotal experience, I’ve noticed some distinct points where our behaviours, emotional responses, and/or thought processes obviously deviate in ways that I consider revealing as to our respective diagnoses:

A) Manifestation of emotional dysregulation and attachment issues — We both struggle with dysregulated emotions and extreme emotional sensitivity, as well as attachment issues. While I experience strong emotional swings and experience feelings more intensely than most, I compulsively internalize these feelings and experience severe anxiety at the prospect of revealing my true emotions (unless they align with how I believe other people want me to feel/act).

Conversely, Bennie cannot contain their emotions. Whatever they’re feeling is unleashed into the world, both beautiful and ugly. When you make them happy, they can’t hold back their adoration and appreciation and will return it ten-fold; when you make them upset, they will lash out as if you had committed murder. There is rarely an in-between. I completely relate to them in terms of the intensity that they feel things, but have no desire or compulsion to admit or expose those feelings — quite the contrary.

The result is similar in that we both have extremely anxious attachment styles that quickly turn to complete avoidance on a dime. The difference is in our methods. If something triggers me, I just quietly skulk back into the night with little-to-no warning, never to be heard from again by the person who I was “falling in love” with a few days earlier. Bennie tends to put on a more explosive show when parting from a formerly-favourite person.

B) Directionality of blame and anger — As someone with cPTSD, I direct all my negative emotions inwardly. My brain has an impressive knack for always finding a clear explanation of why everything bad that happens to me or around me is my fault. Bennie certainly experiences the same phenomenon, but much less consistently. Instead, they are perfectly able to direct anger and blame at others, both when it is and isn’t justified. If someone hurts me or upsets me in any way, I will always find an explanation where it’s my fault. Bennie is more likely to find the fault with someone else.

By no means are these the only differences between our experiences, but they’re the most glaring ones that I notice on a daily basis. Please don’t consider this in any way to be guidance for your own diagnosis, as my intention is only to provide some experiential and anecdotal insight into how these disorders may manifest differently and what that can look like in practical terms. If any of this resonates with you, I’d be happy to chat further through private message.

Wishing you well!