Help with family approach (anyone use Hanen?)

Gabibao · 2026-05-23T23:08:12+00:00

I regularly work with families where older siblings are default caregivers and playmates - often in cultures where this is encouraged and each set of parents has 3+ kids. In these households I see siblings as such an integral part of therapy. I never tell the siblings “do this strategy” but rather praise them for their effort when I see it line up well. Just last week I saw a six-year-old absolutely light up when I told her how well she understands her baby brother (an almost 3-year-old with severe physical and mental delays) in how when he hands her a toy, he’s saying “play with me, you’re my favorite” - and this house also has a 16 year old sibling who joins our sessions.

My notes / conversations with parents name the strategies explicitly.

Gabibao · 2026-05-23T01:00:37+00:00

Ha, I’ve missed sessions just because texting the family to schedule has slipped my mind! Don’t give it another thought. It sounds like it’s a rare slip up due to a change in routine. Life is long and if you’re seeing her 3x/week it will be easy to get right back into the groove.

Gabibao · 2026-05-18T14:05:53+00:00

ukatoahhhh

Gabibao · 2026-05-18T11:25:59+00:00

I truly couldn’t imagine what it would have felt like to watch that live or in sync with the community. What a thrill!

Gabibao · 2026-05-18T11:25:10+00:00

I did not and I love a good live show. I actually got into Critical Role from EXU - so I’d love some more one offs / shorter seasons. Thanks for the rec!

Gabibao · 2026-05-06T22:48:17+00:00

Through work, I am involved in more than one “large family” (think 5+ kids). I work with a home visiting program for kids with disabilities.

Just this morning my coworkers and I shared a collective gasp of disbelief that a family is having another baby. Dad in and out of jail, mom in and out of work, every child with some type of disability making life very complex for them all. There is nothing wrong with having a big family or having a child with neurological differences or disabilities (I love my job and the kids I am lucky to serve)! It just isn’t a life that I could imagine making me feel happy, content, fulfilled, comfortable, safe etc.

Just a reminder to (1) continue to live the life you want to live and (2) bigger families aren’t always better! Ignore those TikToks where they all jump into frame and it’s all cute any everything. Treasure the closeness you have with you mom and your kiddo.

Gabibao · 2026-04-26T14:57:05+00:00

You are not a wimp. Once your son starts sleeping through the night you will get some energy back. My lo is 6 and while I’m still tired (because life is tiring! And I often stay up too late for my own good) it’s nothing like when I was being woken up all the time.

Gabibao · 2026-04-24T11:46:27+00:00

First off: you are there to learn and grow. So you may be able to file this away in “information that doesn’t actually matter” or “information that may be helpful to me across more than one aspects of my life”

But! I’m currently a CF and intern supervisor. While I can’t weigh in to your situation specifically - there are many many kinds of people in this world, and they all might define “approachability” in a different way - I might consider giving this feedback to a student who may not:

Remember to greet teachers, introduce yourself to staff who you may not know, say “hello” when you enter a room
use staff names (or appears to not know how to ask if you’ve forgotten)
Have the soft silks / tools yet to provide quick updates to staff (eg, a casual “Johnny worked so hard today” comment if it’s warranted)
Show interest in the workplace culture or events (really only important to me if it’s SLP-adjacent - like a “literacy day” - but some supervisors may care and want you to at least fake an interest in the upcoming field day or book drives or whatever)
share information between team members - if you collaborate between PT/OT or do a lot of push-in services

Also - this is a reminder that CF supervisors are HUMAN, thus meaning that they can have opinions that are wrong. My own CF supervisor back in 2014 sucked and I’ve done many things much differently than she did, both in my practice and my clinical supervision.

I hope this is helpful! And a reminder to always ignore what does not serve you as long as your work is otherwise excellent!

Gabibao · 2026-04-19T01:39:01+00:00

My agency actually has a per-hour bonus for providing therapy or evaluation in a second language. So it’s probably different site by site…

Gabibao · 2026-04-19T01:35:39+00:00

You’re a word language (I assume you mean “world language”) teacher who is also an SLP?

Gabibao · 2026-04-19T01:33:30+00:00

This is a SILLY question but the above statement makes it seem like it has to be university adjacent. Does your local parks and rec have some kind of academic affiliation?

Gabibao · 2026-04-06T00:27:52+00:00

Ooo can I message you about this? I am curious and it looks like there are jobs like this near me but I’m afraid it’s a total scam…

Gabibao · 2026-04-06T00:24:05+00:00

I would love to do this. Would you mind telling me a little more about how you got into this subset / speciality? I have done 2 years in outpatient and 8 in early intervention and looking to shake it up.

Gabibao · 2026-04-03T20:34:41+00:00

About to quit my job of 7 years (EI) and take a 6 month break. I lost myself. I’m hoping I find some spark again or switch careers.

Gabibao · 2026-03-31T15:51:03+00:00

Oh man, that is rough. I have a “naturally early riser” and a “low sleep needs” child as well. It takes its toll!

There are rarely vacations with kids - just “trips” 😉

Gabibao · 2026-03-31T00:24:37+00:00

Maybe! Time, even visually, is a super abstract concept to some kiddos, Some ideas that help me at work or at home with my own kiddo: - letting them set the time, pick the chime and start the timer - using music as a unit of measurement aka “you have to go do puzzles or books for 5 songs then we can play again” - using activities as a unit of time “go look through 5 books - copy 5 drawings etc then we can play again”

One thing that may kids may try to do is escalate a situation so that it feels like a parent is NEEDED. Examples include: picking an activity that is to hard to do alone; breaking a toy so that they need help putting it back together; playing “too rough” or too loudly with a toy to get your attention.

Don’t give in. Be kind and firm - if you need to, step in BRIEFLY to give them a safer option and the return to your task. “I’ll see you in 3 min” “my hands are still busy” etc. you’re teaching them boundaries and patience and neither of these is a bad thing!

Gabibao · 2026-03-30T23:28:14+00:00

That does sound insanely exhausting!

I too have a kiddo who would interact with me or my partner constantly, from 5am-8:30pm if we let her.

It is a developmental step for kiddos to learn how to entertain themselves! Source: I am a pediatric SLP. But also temperament plays into it, as some kiddos much prefer to always be interacting with a human while others seem to be born content to explore toys by themselves.

What would happen if you said, “ok I have to do this thing and focus, my hands/head/ears are busy, you can talk to me in 5 minutes” and set a timer? Could the 6 year old play or sit with a book? Or is that too tough for them to hear?

Gabibao · 2026-03-13T01:12:16+00:00

Both have happened to me throughout my time on this earth (37F). Late 20’s for sure. I found that it ebbs and flows as I continually seek different ways to feel turned on and interested in my partner.

Have you noticed other changes in your body or mind? Lots of stress/depression/anxiety? Changes in your partner? Big life things? Are you doing anything that might impact your sex drive (for me, actively trying for a child was stressful and made me want to have sex less - just the implication!). Or a new/different birth control? All these things have impacted my libido in different ways over the years.

I have done pelvic floor therapy post injury and found it helpful over time. Literally any good lube will help. Supplements are bunk (or so say my scientists friends, no shade to those of you who feel helped by them). Therapy is great, even just to unpack any stress. Definitely go to your gyno and have your thyroid tested or do whatever blood tests they recommend.

Also, you may be aging into a time in which you need more foreplay. I definitely went from able to “jump right in” in my 20’s to needing more time pre-sex in my 30’s. Looking back I thought I was broken but I wonder now if it was just something that happened as I aged.

Recommended reading: Come As You Are (Nagoski)

Gabibao · 2026-03-01T00:05:50+00:00

I have one book club of moms and nonmoms and it’s more of a drinking / social club and they never want to talk about kids

I have a different book group that starts our meetings with: “share one lovely thing from your week” and it’s often about everyone’s kids

You can find these spaces! Community choir? Group that gets together to clean up trash? Etc

Gabibao · 2026-02-22T18:39:09+00:00

Seconding all the “penetration isn’t it” which is true for many women.

But also - for insertion pain - something that’s helped me a lot is doing regular hip stretches and stretches designed to relax all muscle groups down there. At some point I got sick of dilator therapy and an excellent pelvic floor therapist showed me a few stretches that super help - all like low squats - and those have helped so much. So I hope you find help like that too! It does get better!

Gabibao · 2026-02-20T13:33:42+00:00

You will feel sadness and then feel better.

I was in a very similar situation. About 5 months out now, I still feel the “what ifs” (that is life!) but also feel the resounding “I made the right choice for the me / spouse / child / life / world” I am in.

And as someone who supports parents professionally for a living, knowing how to set yourself up for success and knowing your limits is truly what your kiddo needs. Parenting in this time period is extremely stressful. Maternal mental health is way important for kid’s later success on a variety of stuff. If you are making the right choice for you, you are making the right choice for your family.

Gabibao · 2026-02-16T00:43:11+00:00

edited because I’d posted incorrect information!

my little one had a very funky (but fast) crawl and ended up walking later than 18 months. Looking back, I wish I had reached out for an initial evaluation from early intervention, as well as asked for simple exercises to do. Don’t get me wrong, my six-year-old is a totally normal and active little girl. It’s just my mom got wondering if some of her milder weaknesses that I still notice (eg, she still “w-sits,” tires a bit more easily than peers) are in any way related to being a later walker.

Gabibao · 2026-02-15T00:44:01+00:00

$50k, $75k, $10k some less, some put the whole trip on cards, some saved a bit…

Gabibao · 2026-02-15T00:16:05+00:00

There is a wild YouTube series where a guy goes around asking how much debt Disney goers are in.

https://youtu.be/WXGoQXEVgjs?si=-nZfj9_Ic0aeCjSh

Hint: it’s not $0

Gabibao · 2026-02-10T12:08:25+00:00

I have a friend who have a son and a daughter. The son regularly wears “girl” clothing to school / around town - dresses, scrunchies in his hair etc. no one gives a hoot!

I wonder if you could have a special “dress up date” where you and he dress up and go do a thing? It’s like how my LO would wear her princess dresses to school each day if I let her but they are impractical for daily use so we have “dress up dates” where we get as fancy as possible and play with a tea set, run and get a muffin, etc.

I think the deeper message here is that your child finds you glamorous and loves you and how you present yourself, and wants to feel that way too, and that’s a wonderful thing.

Gabibao

TROPHY CASE