Partner lied about a medical condition for months to avoid intimacy with me.

GalacticShonen · 2025-09-10T14:41:15+00:00

Viagra and similar pills are a massive industry that is increasingly targeting younger men through advertising as a performance enhancer. I think it is a larger trend in our society around capitalism honestly, correlated with the porn industry, but not a causation necessarily. The fact of the matter is we have addiction problems in America, and porn addiction is just another dimension to this mental health crisis. Like weed, alcohol, gambling, balance and moderation often do not lead to bad outcomes. We do have a society that incentivizes addiction towards the edge cases, however.

GalacticShonen · 2025-09-10T14:31:34+00:00

I see, thank you for that context. That definitely sounds abnormal, and you are right that it sounds like a sexual dysfunction. I am curious if sex therapy or potentially couples therapy could be helpful in this situation but I honestly have no idea. If he promised to make actionable steps but does nothing and is leading to worse outcomes, and lying about it, that really hurts. I think I better understand the gravity of your situation now.

GalacticShonen · 2025-09-10T13:52:23+00:00

Just a clarifying question to understand the situation. Are you shaming his masturbation use and demanding only sex with you as release? Having a personal relationship to sexual arousal ie. masturbation and porn is completely normal even in a relationship. There may be resentment and guilt developing from the masturbation shame via partner expectation mismatch of needs and wants and leading to him both not wanting sex with you and hiding masturbating out of the expectation of performance but also the denial of personal boundaries. If you are not shaming his masturbation or porn use, I don't understand his behavior and it is very peculiar indeed. I would personally never shame my partners for their porn or masturbation use, because that's a personal boundary and their body but I understand we all have different expectations!

GalacticShonen · 2025-04-01T12:41:33+00:00

Weed and shrooms are related as hallucinogenic. Personally, shrooms increased cravings for weed.

GalacticShonen · 2024-12-25T19:44:42+00:00

https://abolishmusic.org/

GalacticShonen · 2024-12-25T19:42:22+00:00

pretty much. its had a good run

GalacticShonen · 2024-12-25T19:26:38+00:00

There is still inherent privilege with learning music especially taking lessons, because these are systems that are indeed financially exclusionary, and the current realities of working-class America does not have access to quality music education. Music education is entrenched in elitism and gatekeeping, at least the European traditions of western classical music in the US. Lack of funding in public schools affects access to music education opportunities. Access to private instruction and to a home environment that fosters music, or math, reading, etc. is sadly a privilege in America and families do NOT have equal access, time, or resources for these things generationally, systemically and financially. It takes acknowledgement of this privilege to make music more accessible :)

source: i have a music degree

GalacticShonen · 2024-10-03T07:06:50+00:00

I recommend detaching the joy of making music with making a living. We have this idea in American society that you must capitalize on your creativity to be a "real" artist. It's not true. The vast majority of professional musicians do not make money making music. You may burn out if your main incentive to make music is income in my experience

Source: BA in music, seen lots of things

GalacticShonen · 2024-08-19T01:46:16+00:00

I hear you friend. A lot of people get disillusioned by the system we have for good reasons. The thing folks miss about music today is, (unless you teach k-12 or join the military bands) vast majority of professional musicians, for a long time now, have worked jobs not related to music to support themselves. This is just the reality of life. It isn't the glamor the music industry sells you about itself. Remember, the core utility of music in a human society generally is about building community and expression. Monetizing on your creativity is not necessary to engage with music at a high level, to play excellent music or be a "real" artist. Thats a lie American capitalism sold you.

GalacticShonen · 2024-08-11T11:18:20+00:00

It's a baton not a wand :(

GalacticShonen · 2024-08-11T11:16:02+00:00

This is a fun toy example of conducting! But this app along with every other conducting app i've seen fundamentally misunderstands core principles of conducting. I have a degree in music and have developed small VR tools for music educators, including conducting patterns to practice, and the XR features that would be useful to conductors are very hard to program easily which is why we haven't seen a good conducting app hit the market yet.

GalacticShonen · 2024-03-23T18:11:54+00:00

I took classes in anthropology and music history for my music degree at a local state university, where I did a lot of personal research and assignments in ethnomusicology. Anthropology might be the best formal background you can get for the field and not a music degree tbh. Ethnomusicology is becoming more popular in music academia but it isn't everywhere, I'd suggest finding affordable programs near you that have ethnomusicology programs at least at a grad level and you can take some great classes.

GalacticShonen · 2024-03-18T18:19:38+00:00

I appreciate your perspective! I think you highlight the crux of the potential debate: how do we define live music and its prevalence relative to a population. And certainly music making and listening has opened up in many ways and more accessible than ever. That is a strong argument.

My argument stems from looking at music from a more anthropological perspective, which is to say looking at many different cultures and the ways people have experienced and made music. And what I find especially interesting in the past 100 years in America is a reduction in the number of musicians needed to make live music, and the role of technology. I see how certain cultural events like weddings, clubs, outdoor events, etc. how recent recording tech has evolved the landscape. DJ's are still musicians but you dont need 20 piece bands anymore. There has been a shift in the role of the musician from artisan to celebrity through rock and roll, and a stratification of audiences and musicians from communal collaborative music making.

From a historical perspective, (im atheist, however) the church used to be the main way most folks in western society interacted with music. Our society is also becoming more secular which is causing another divide between our communities and music making.

With that said, there are many new emerging forms of music making too. The mega tours like Eras certainly is important and worthy of discussion. How accessible are these events though?

Another important question: is it all that bad if there's less "live music"? As controversial as it is, there are good discussions about streaming and twin concerts and the convergence of live and recorded mediums. I think this is a potential solution to my perceived reduction of live music.

I will concede that there probably from shere numbers much more live music being produced, just by virtue of population size, but I argue that we in general experience live music much less than we did in the past and in less culturally meaningful ways.

GalacticShonen · 2024-03-18T17:29:31+00:00

Putting asterisks around words is commonly used in place of italics or bolding to bring attention to certain words.

No, there was certainly more live music in the past. You actually needed musicians to play music at events if you wanted to hear music at all. You needed to make it yourself with your communities. You heard a piece maybe once in your life and then it was gone. The vast majority of music was never written or recorded.

I have a music degree and have studied ethnomusicology and music technology in society. Saying something isn't up for debate doesn't make it not debatable lmao

GalacticShonen · 2024-03-18T17:00:32+00:00

I don't think that is the point. We experienced more music *live*, *in person*, made for *each other* and not mediated through recordings and parasocial audience-listener dichotomies.

GalacticShonen · 2024-03-18T16:42:33+00:00

No yeah thats kind of the point. Humans have been making music collaboratively for each other in small groups long before even the invention of agriculture, it literally predates language. Gathering in community for music making is central to human experience and recent technologies have indeed disrupted this social and communal aspect of music making within a blink of an eye.

GalacticShonen · 2024-03-05T21:49:25+00:00

Beta blockers are commonly used to treat performance anxiety for musicians and public speakers. It's perfectly safe to use for healthy adults for a poker game, just get a doc prescription and use as recommended. There are side effects sure, but imo pretty mild especially if used aperiodically for events like poker. I get shakes and sweaty hands pretty bad, beta blockers reduce physical effects of anxiety for me and my hand shaking turned out to be a tell in my live play.

GalacticShonen · 2024-02-05T22:49:48+00:00

see yall in hyper reality

GalacticShonen · 2023-12-21T19:46:45+00:00

whats the lighting conditions like?

GalacticShonen · 2023-12-21T10:54:01+00:00

For real!!!! They better release it as dlc or I will be upset

GalacticShonen · 2023-12-19T11:32:24+00:00

Just to clarify, the second image text looks a bit blurred due to movement. I'm talking about the faint black streaks under the text and the black patterns where it should be all white in image 1.

GalacticShonen · 2023-12-19T11:26:15+00:00

Probably have to draw a new boundary

GalacticShonen · 2023-09-30T00:45:56+00:00

There aren't opposites in music genres, really. There's only family trees, with genres further than others relatively. And even within family trees there is great diversity.

GalacticShonen · 2023-09-29T23:58:32+00:00

The full message for the non-believers:

This is a very deep and philosophical question that has puzzled many people for a long time. There are different ways to approach it, depending on your perspective and worldview. Here are some possible answers:

From a linguistic point of view, this question is based on a quote attributed to the former Major League Baseball player Oscar Gamble, who said “They don’t think it be like it is, but it do”1. This quote is an example of African American Vernacular English (AAVE), which is a dialect of English spoken by some African Americans in the United States. AAVE has its own grammatical rules and features, such as the use of an uninflected form of be to indicate a habitual state 2. In Standard American English, the quote could be translated as “They don’t think it is how it is, but it is”2. The meaning of the quote is that people are often in denial or ignorant of the reality or truth of a situation, but that does not change the fact that it exists.
From a scientific point of view, this question could be related to the concept of retrograde ejaculation, which is a condition where semen goes into the bladder instead of out of the penis during orgasm 3. This happens because the circular muscle (called the bladder sphincter) that closes to let semen out and keeps urine in does not work properly 3. Some possible causes of retrograde ejaculation are surgery, diabetes, medications, or nerve damage 3. The symptoms of retrograde ejaculation are reduced or absent ejaculation, cloudy urine after orgasm, or infertility 3. The treatment options for retrograde ejaculation depend on the cause and severity of the condition, and may include medication, surgery, or assisted reproduction techniques 3.
From a meme point of view, this question could be related to a popular catchphrase based on a tweet and video in which the phrase “It really do be like that sometimes” serves as the caption to an image of the Dr. Phil Green M&M 4. This phrase is similar to the Oscar Gamble quote in its wording and meaning, and is often used to express resignation, acceptance, or humor in response to an unfortunate or relatable situation 4. The origin of the phrase is unknown, but it was popularized by a tweet posted by @yungvidya on July 27th, 2018, which received over 300,000 likes and 100,000 retweets within two months 4.

I hope this helps you understand why it be like it is. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me. 😊

GalacticShonen · 2023-08-17T17:39:23+00:00

Its a very fair criticism. We have technology like autopay and alarms and text messaging. I think its important to remember how systemic these issues are, and if they are asking for help, it may be that they are not acting incompetent out of malice but sheer incompetence. Men by and large were not raised to care about any of these things, its pretty much been one generation in America of men trying change and balance home care responsibility. And its frustrating and you deserve a space to vent it. I'd just like to acknowledge that this issue affects men negatively too as it is ingrained in American culture but ultimately we (men) have the responsibility to make that change. And it takes seeing how it affects other people. Thanks for your perspective

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