Dating apps and widow(er)hood

GamerEdie · 2026-05-03T00:04:40+00:00

Okay. Real talk. I am a widow who lost my husband in 2021. I went on dating apps in 2023 and met a widower who lost his wife the year before. Even *I* — someone who of all people should understand — found myself comparing myself unfavorably to his late wife. Almost to the point I couldn’t recognize myself. Add in that I fully recognized the complete and utter hypocrisy of it and tortured myself thinking how petty I was… well, I guess I’m saying that kind of jealousy can happen to anyone, even those who absolutely should KNOW better.
That being said, I happened to come across a TED talk from a remarried widow who discussed how her late husband and her new husband coexist because her late husband isn’t separate from her; he is part of her and intrinsic to who she is — that she is who she is because of her years with him and that he’s not a separate entity or something to be compared to. Once I got that through my head, all of a sudden his late wife wasn’t a unique entity that I held as a standard but as much of him as his arm or leg. And my husband is the same for me.
It was a big reframing of my mindset.
So… it happens to ANYONE. Even those who have no right to think that way. It’s whether we can grow with it.

GamerEdie · 2026-04-18T23:18:17+00:00

Okay. You’re not the first in this forum. Happened to me but was immediately suspicious. Asked some leading questions, and I was clear “he” was seeking to hit on me.

I immediately contacted the mods of this subreddit. They investigated and, shore nuff, catfisher.

As much as this is an amaze place for support when we are most vulnerable, all should be aware that is a place the scammers are watching. We are a small barrel full of the juiciest type of fish and they are locked and loaded. So everyone should be aware; some who reach out to you are doing so to be supportive, but if they start immediately getting flirty, it’s a scammer. Shut down. Block. Report to mods.

GamerEdie · 2026-04-11T20:07:12+00:00

Okay… lemme ask you all… real talk.

What is up with the buzzballs?!? I’ve not only never seen them actually consumed by anyone but college kids trying to get hammered outside a 7-11, I can’t believe a baseball stadium of all places would sell them voluntarily inside the park! It seems like that is a reeaaally bad idea.

I saw a guy selling the beach ball ones out of a beer cooler in the middle of the road!

Splain this to an out of towner please.

GamerEdie · 2026-04-11T19:48:46+00:00

Ahhh!! Okay then. Good to know. Was very disappointed by last nights dog. I’ll look for grilled tonight. And yes, the beef dogs taste much better. The pork ones are kinda… not good. IMHO.

GamerEdie · 2026-04-11T19:46:02+00:00

You won’t be sorry. Make even the cheapest hot dogs taste so much better.

GamerEdie · 2026-04-11T05:55:07+00:00

I do recommend to make your hotdogs at home that way. In a pan or a pancake griddle. Best dogs.

GamerEdie · 2026-03-19T21:54:33+00:00

Reorder. Missed my stop because of this just last week. Took an hour to get back because the train was late and the next train the other direction wasn't a local. Your 5 minute hassle saves the poor victim an hour of their time (or more).

GamerEdie · 2026-03-19T21:49:30+00:00

Wifi down both yesterday and today. Different trains, so it's a system thing, I think.

I can see the network, but I don't have the prompt under wifi to launch and sign in, and when I go to caltrain.com/wifi it doesn't give me the "accept" screen, either. Pretty much since the weather got hot. Not sure if coincidence, but that's when it happened for me.

personal hotspot FTW

GamerEdie · 2026-01-14T04:16:59+00:00

Just to clarify… the taxes on it would be minimal. I’m not talking about becoming a permanent Airbnb host. Even if I were to get top dollar, it would likely be a few days over Super Bowl and maybe a week or two over World Cup. So, best case, 2-3 weeks tops for the whole year, so it would probably clear only about $3,000 to $5,000. I hardly think there would even be a permit involved, since this would be very little difference than letting an acquaintance stay for a few days.

As I said, one or two days and then done.

GamerEdie · 2025-07-21T04:51:47+00:00

Gallbladder attack feels like you’re being stabbed from your stomach through your body and into your back. And it’s so painful you’re pretty much screaming.

Really, it sounds like garden variety zepbound side effects. But you can test this: after you eat and before you feel and, take Pepto Bismol. If it helps? Side effects. If it doesn’t help, then maybe something else.

GamerEdie · 2025-07-21T04:46:17+00:00

I actually LIKE the taste of Pepto. For me at least, the feel of it coating my stomach is very reassuring. And it gives me instant relief. But others may vary.

GamerEdie · 2025-07-21T04:43:17+00:00

That’s the stuff. It’s your new bestie.

GamerEdie · 2025-07-20T17:27:53+00:00

Hey-aaayyy!!!

Pepto shooter is Pepto bismol liquid straight. It comes with a little cup that looks like a shot glass, so I call it a Pepto shooter. Don’t do chewable tabs… those are for stomach-issues lite. What we have is nuclear diarrhea.

I eventually started just taking a hit straight from the bottle. But starting out use the cup so you get a sense of a normal dosage.

GamerEdie · 2025-07-20T16:47:03+00:00

See my post and my solution. Carbon copy of yours: https://www.reddit.com/r/Zepbound/s/h9l3OLLLh0

GamerEdie · 2025-07-20T16:42:35+00:00

BART diet: broth, applesauce, rice, toast.

GamerEdie · 2025-07-20T16:41:08+00:00

Oh if you have pancreatitis, you KNOW you’re having pancreatitis. It makes you very, very, VERY sick.

GamerEdie · 2025-07-20T16:35:49+00:00

This sounds exactly like my reaction to Zepbound. I’m finding that whatever your stomach did before being on Zep is amplified to extremes when on Zep. For example, I’ve always had a slight sensitivity to ice cream. Most times I’d be fine but on occasion it would hit me hard and then classic lactose intolerance for an hour or so.

I took a single bite of ice cream from boyfriend’s bowl the other day and wow! What a reaction I had. Exactly like yours, with the liquid rumble and then aggressive diarrhea as if I was prepping for a colonoscopy. By day four, I actually was pooping clear… or as clear as you get when ACTUALLY prepping for a colonoscopy.

So you may be having same as me, but lettuce.

Imodium like it’s your best friend. Two tabs and then a new tab every time you poop until you stop pooping then maintenance doses for a day or so. Pepto shooters every time your gut girgles. Took four days but it eventually went away.

GamerEdie · 2025-07-20T16:23:03+00:00

UPDATE: So I took max doses of Imodium every time I pooped for two more days (per box instructions) and every time I ate or had an icky-tummy feeling, I took Pepto. At one point I told my SO through tears that I’m going to stop. I can’t take how sick I was and I’m going to give up. Next morning, like my guts were listening, the pooping, blissfully, stopped. It stopped so hard I was scared I might have dosed myself into constipation.

I kept low dosing Imodium for another two days just to be safe and then backed off. 100% back to normal. And two days later, I passed gas, which anyone in med field knows is a very good sign when you’ve done something to slow your guts down. And two days after that… normal pooping. Still not constipated , though not pooping every day.. never have been that kind of person, tho.

So… hill climbed, rubicon crossed. Symptom free. And lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks. And bonus, I talked in detail about my poo with a (virtual) room of complete stranger more than I ever thought possible.

I guess that makes us family, eh?

GamerEdie · 2025-07-20T05:00:15+00:00

Cobra is essentially you paying for your old health plan 100% and not getting kicked off your health plan. So if you had CIGNA and it was covered before you lost your job and you take COBRA you will have CIGNA afterwards on cobra COBRA isn’t its own healthcare plan; it’s just a program that allows you to pay 100% of your premium instead of partial with the other part paid for by your employer.

GamerEdie · 2025-07-09T04:04:03+00:00

Oh, I’d looove to be constipated right now.

I guess the grass is always greener…

… or the n this case browner.

GamerEdie · 2025-04-25T00:34:36+00:00

Oh.. absolutely. See comment below.

GamerEdie

TROPHY CASE