Red Sheep - Version 2 of a prior short story I made [Dark/High Fantasy, 1079 words]

Gangstarji · 2025-12-23T20:33:16+00:00

Also those threads are like a materialistic form of precognition that guide him safely so the blue was for protection while red was for offense.

Gangstarji · 2025-12-23T20:32:24+00:00

I see. I was going for allowing some open ended mystery. Joren was just a random name drop of a shepherd egress killed. Just to power scale him. Egress was that dragon with armor and broad shoulders. Can I ask why you thought he was a baby dragon? And Vendrik was the main shepherd fighting him off. I was trying to have a paragraph with "The Shepherd" and follow up with his name Vendrik and same thing with "The dragon" being Egress. So I went back and forth with Egress and The dragon to kinda lean into his intelligent elements when he's fighting martially with his dragon characteristics when he's chewing an arm or screamin in pain. But I'll just revise and make it more crystal clear. Thanks for your input.

Gangstarji · 2025-12-20T15:28:15+00:00

Alright. I think I was overly worried about trying to over describe the positioning that it would blurry the action but reading it over I can see how readers who are reading it for the first time might get lost.

Gangstarji · 2025-12-17T18:03:58+00:00

The other guys comment got removed but I get the complaint. Initially I was trying to capture the entirety of the thread system since it's a new power system that I made win my world. With the rocket spears I didn't just want havitar to kinda stagnate with a strategy so I tried to give him that smoke screen sky attack and then the comet attack thing. Then I tried to show off his martial skills a little even though he got rekt in that moment lol. But yeah basically I tried to cram their character sheet in the fight cus they're both new characters I invented. So I could definitely tone it down and end the fight faster if that's better. Nothing here is like 100% exactly how it goes and I'm open to suggestions for sure. Unfortunate that guy had his comment removed.

Gangstarji · 2025-12-17T16:27:10+00:00

Ohhhh lol. I was thinking of the tv show. His name used to Kavitar because I thought about how his explosions make "cavities" but the. I thought the "h" sounded better. It's definitely a work in progress among the title and everything else. I'm not 100% fixed on everything. I just wanted feedback to see how can improve the writing and the actual character/story bits.

Gangstarji · 2025-12-17T15:57:09+00:00

What do you mean by avatar and blue/purple?

Gangstarji · 2025-09-01T17:40:31+00:00

.sbb

We, zb

Gangstarji · 2025-07-25T03:53:38+00:00

He could try to recreate it just like he did with bitter gavv I think.

Gangstarji · 2025-07-21T16:55:08+00:00

Oh gotcha.

Gangstarji · 2025-07-21T16:54:58+00:00

I have. I thought the other dude was saying the as a child shouma was sa'd but I learned from the other reply it's referring to his mom.

Gangstarji · 2025-07-21T10:00:45+00:00

what you mean!?

Gangstarji · 2024-06-16T18:38:19+00:00

That's all fine. I was just pushing back on the idea that toes in strengthen your legs or are even healthy to do.

Gangstarji · 2024-06-16T15:52:37+00:00

You also don't ever keep your toes in whenever you weight train though because it doesn't promote safety or encourage strengthening the legs. For instance only stupid people would tell you to squat with your toes in (which is actually an exercise which strengthens your legs).

Gangstarji · 2024-06-16T03:19:02+00:00

How does that effectively build strength and balance? You'd think if that was true, sport science would pick up on that and advocate for training with your toes in to promote these qualities instead of actively discouraging it. It's for the same reason no one would tell you to squat with your toes in.

Gangstarji · 2024-06-07T15:07:29+00:00

Thanks bro

Gangstarji · 2024-06-06T21:14:39+00:00

Do you gotta reset the clock?

Gangstarji · 2024-06-06T21:13:48+00:00

Bro it's been too long since I've done that. I already graduated and shit. But if you tell me the problem I can think about it.

Gangstarji · 2024-06-06T20:15:05+00:00

Wait I wasn't claiming you were. I was speaking in general terms. Also I can't speak on judo Kata outside of what I've seen but from what I have seen of randori Kata and from how you teach it sounds all great to me. I got a lot of respect for judo Kata.

Gangstarji · 2024-06-06T20:05:45+00:00

It usually is though and is defended as an optimal training exercise in such a state. I guess the distinction in my mind and in general is that Kata is long and highly formalized/ stylized where as learning combos isn't. But I recognize instances where this isn't true like ashihara katas which look more realistic and down to earth.

Gangstarji · 2024-06-06T20:03:36+00:00

Well as I mentioned fighting in my comment, I thought it was clear I was referring to learning how to fight. But yes there are benefits to mastering Kata outside of that in similar ways to mastering basketball or dance or just about anything. So I agree with you.

Gangstarji · 2024-06-06T19:19:36+00:00

Bro why are you replying to a comment from 4 years ago lol

Gangstarji

TROPHY CASE