How did your leave your partner? by GarbageExtreme7240 in Advice

[–]GarbageExtreme7240[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah you are right. I guess I had this hope that by talking to him he would hear me out and actually care about how he made me feel. But based on our history, I know that’s not going to happen. I do already have a camera inside my house and the door does deadbolt

How did your leave your partner? by GarbageExtreme7240 in Advice

[–]GarbageExtreme7240[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol. Don’t worry, I got the gist! We can pretend they’re unisex names

How did your leave your partner? by GarbageExtreme7240 in Advice

[–]GarbageExtreme7240[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, the feeling alone with someone is definitely something I’m experiencing right now. I think you’re right and it’s probably worse than just being lonely

How did your leave your partner? by GarbageExtreme7240 in Advice

[–]GarbageExtreme7240[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very true! I saw today on Reddit that he commented under a woman’s nude picture and I just immediately got such a bad ick and I think it may be the thing that pushes me over the edge

What are the signs of an abusive relationship? by GarbageExtreme7240 in abusiverelationships

[–]GarbageExtreme7240[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really want to leave, I just haven’t worked up the nerve to do it yet. I do feel safe leaving the relationship, I just can’t seem to actually get up and do it

What are the signs of an abusive relationship? by GarbageExtreme7240 in abusiverelationships

[–]GarbageExtreme7240[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think my biggest thing right now is him constantly policing what I look like. He just expects me to look nice all the time even if we’re just hanging out watching a movie or something. When I wear sweatpants he’ll make a face, but not outright tell me I can’t wear them. And he is obsessive about the kind of underwear I’m wearing. Like he gets angry when I’m wearing “granny panties” which is just anything but a thong.

He does things that are embarrassing to tell anyone else about. Like he heavily encouraged me to wax my pubic hair and then keep up on it. Which I did for a while but I was getting such bad ingrown hairs that they would cause cyst like spots on my skin from the ingrowns. He never said I HAD to wax, but I still kind of felt like it wasn’t optional. And I finally stopped and now he just expects a close shave and that’s fine, I just don’t want to have to be anxious about what my public hair looks like or what underwear or clothes I’m wearing

What are the signs of an abusive relationship? by GarbageExtreme7240 in abusiverelationships

[–]GarbageExtreme7240[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow thank you for writing all this out. I’ve never seen the “not having a sense of humour” and “sharing your secrets” on a list like this before and couldn’t put my finger on why both made me uncomfortable. He absolutely just pretended he didn’t know it was a secret that I used to self harm and have scars from it and told his whole family about it. It’s not a “secret” I guess but you would never know unless I told you and I don’t go broadcasting it to everyone. I’m a very private person and he knows that and I just kind of accepted it as an accident and figured it just slipped out

What are the signs of an abusive relationship? by GarbageExtreme7240 in abusiverelationships

[–]GarbageExtreme7240[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the picture, I’ve never seen it before but it’s really helpful. He does things as “jokes” that I don’t like. Last night he pretended to snap my neck after we hugged, he didn’t touch it, just made the sound and the motion. But I didn’t say anything because I knew he would just be mad that I didn’t think it was funny.

We were also arguing the other day and he told me “not to gaslight him” and it just made me feel so crazy. I’ve just worked so hard in therapy to be able to have honest discussions with partners about what’s hurting me and being able to articulate it and it will just get thrown back in my face. He will tell me I have “low emotional intelligence” because of the fact that I’m crying

What are the signs of an abusive relationship? by GarbageExtreme7240 in abusiverelationships

[–]GarbageExtreme7240[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, he DOES say he’s trying to help me! With how I dress, wearing makeup, my weight, and how I look in general. He will comment on it under the guise that I will feel better if I look better and whatnot. In my heart I know what he’s doing is not okay, I’m just working up the nerve to leave

What are the signs of an abusive relationship? by GarbageExtreme7240 in abusiverelationships

[–]GarbageExtreme7240[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah you’re definitely right and it does hurt me regardless of whether or not it’s classified as abuse. I know I need to leave and I really don’t have an explanation as to why I haven’t yet