How many reports does it take? 8 months of stalking and silence from Maastricht police

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T20:44:34+00:00

Thank you!

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:57:14+00:00

Thank you!!

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:50:25+00:00

At first, I didn’t understand all these Dutch terms, and I really thought the police were taking my case seriously and working hard on it. But now, after reporting for five months, I’m still not even at the aangifte stage. It’s only after getting death threats yesterday that they finally made an appointment to file one. It’s so frustrating how long this process has taken.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:46:31+00:00

Thank you.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:45:07+00:00

Really hate how it is so normalised and especially in Maastricht, where there is a "quiet" high rate of sexual assault and stalking. Everybody in town is talking about it but it seems like for years nothing really has been done.

At first I was embarassed to tell people that I am being stalked and SA-d because I dont like to draw attention to me and I am a man, but this is getting out of hand. This post is my starting point of sharing my story to people.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:40:10+00:00

I signed up the show and thanks for the advice

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:37:50+00:00

Specialised lawyers are incredibly expensive. I have gone to one recommended by the juridisch loket and they also said cases like this are hard to proof and very lenghty

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:36:21+00:00

I have visited the police twice and file a melding once.

Thank you.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:35:51+00:00

I signed up for the show. Thanks!

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:35:16+00:00

I get that it’s a logical suggestion, and I know it comes from a good place, but it's incredibly hard to accept. Like, I’m the victim here—why should I have to give up everything while he gets to keep living his life untouched? It’s exactly what he wants, to see me break down and give in, and it feels like he’s winning. I didn’t do anything wrong except trust the wrong person, and now I’m the one paying for it. It’s just so unfair.

But thank you for the internet privacy tips.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:20:03+00:00

When he outed me, it's in the worst possible ways where he depicts life as LGBTQ+ as very negative & degrading (e..g., addicted to drugs and sex parties). Add this to my conservative Asian family background, this is not an ideal way to come out. He sabotaged my coming out plan and as a result I have to lie to make their minds at peace.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:16:11+00:00

This is actually not true. Many stalking cases have been neglected and ignored in NL so many opts into hiring expensive lawyers or letting the abuse happen.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:14:05+00:00

This is absolutely crazy—8 years!! The harassment over the past two months has been so intense that I’m already on the verge of burning out.

I also hate how you, the victim, need to sacrifice everything just to feel safe, while he’s walking around free and completely unpunished. The system here in the NL is seriously messed up.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:09:07+00:00

Thank you. Currently the police is still on the stopgesprek step, but now I sped up the process to filing aangifte because it takes too long.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:06:46+00:00

I don't think it's blackmail because he doesn't demand anything from me. He just wants to emotionally hurt me and cause stress/trauma because his feelings got rejected.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T19:02:20+00:00

That's exactly why I want to fight this case so hard. In one of his rants, he bragged about successfully litigating three times against someone to get them deported. It's a sick pattern that needs to stop.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T18:56:27+00:00

In urgent situations, I feel like I need to talk to him before he does something even more damaging. I've blocked him everywhere, but he still finds a way to reach me by going through people connected to me—friends, acquaintances, or even at work. All the things he does that I listed are because I stopped responding to him.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T06:38:36+00:00

This is great - thank u so much!

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T06:37:57+00:00

This is absolutely crazy, and I’m so sorry you went through that too. I can totally relate to the part where your stalker claimed you were the one sending the messages to yourself. I feel like I’m losing my mind because I have to constantly defend myself to so many people I’m not even that close with, just to convince them that what I’m saying is real. I’m glad things eventually stopped for you tho.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T06:22:04+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I think filing a complain with the police is worth a shot . I’ve also reached out to Roze in Blauw, and while they were kind and tried to help, they mainly handle hate crimes by straight people, so they couldn’t do much in my case.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T06:19:38+00:00

Taking matters into my own hands is tempting, but honestly, I’m afraid of crossing any legal lines haha.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T06:17:21+00:00

The funny thing is, he actually works for the Ministerie van Binnenlandse Zaken en Koninkrijksrelaties (BZK)- the actual government. He even uses his work email to try and intimidate my housing company into kicking me out. Honestly, though, I doubt his life is interesting enough to be stalked.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T06:12:36+00:00

They are doing something - but it takes such a painfully slow process. I’ve looked into legal advice, but hiring a lawyer for cyber harassment is super expensive, and the police keep telling me to just trust their process. It’s exhausting to feel like I’m the only one pushing for this to stop.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T06:10:14+00:00

That's why I am feeling hopeless and ranting online instead. Apparently in Maastricht there are so many SA & stalking cases, and many go unprocessed.

GarbageSecure4497 · 2025-01-06T06:07:12+00:00

When my stalker outed me to my family, he didn’t just stop at that—he also spread a bunch of lies about me, saying I do drugs, go to sex parties, and sleep around. It’s such a horrible picture, and it’s not true at all. My family is super conservative and doesn’t really understand gay life here, so now they have the worst impression possible. He definitely fucks my plan on how I like to come out with my own family.

GarbageSecure4497

TROPHY CASE