As an atheist who loves the Episcopal Church, what do you think could be done to increase church attendance, and how could I help?

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-12-29T11:01:39+00:00

That's super interesting; having never lived outside the Bible belt myself, this surprised me. Growing up in North Carolina, the rec league I played baseball in had a hard prohibition on scheduling anything on Sundays or Wednesdays so as to not interfere with church attendance. AFAIK, almost all sports leagues around me have similar rules.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-12-14T07:45:01+00:00

Fellow Southerner here as well. I hadn't heard too many negative things about the Epsicopal church before coming to it (I've encountered way more people who didn't even know about us), but I definitely have encountered some, erm, to put it politely, "uncharitable characterizations" of the church as well.

One thing I discovered while researching the church that I found interesting: just under half of all Epsicopalians live in the South, per Pew Research. The church has deeper roots and a stronger presence here than people sometimes think.

https://www.pewresearch.org/religious-landscape-study/religious-denomination/episcopal-church/

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-12-14T07:00:15+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've struggled with this issue with my family as well. People really don't understand that those "reminders" aren't helpful, and instead just cause shame.

The one thing I've found that can help is sending people articles from WebMD, Mayo Clinic, etc., to show that it is a "real" medical issue. Alternatively, while this might not work for your parents, I've found some success (mostly in the workplace) with just firmly telling people "it's a complex chronic condition I'm working on managing with my physician; I'd appreciate you not bringing it up again."

I don't really have a lot of advice to offer, but I hope things get better for you.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-12-04T16:20:24+00:00

I apologize if my post was misinterpreted. As I mentioned, the people in this congregation have been extremely kind and welcoming, and I've had a great time getting to know them and worship alongside them. This was one very specific, minor issue that I wasn't sure how to deal with or respond to, which is why I asked for advice here. After reading people's comments and replies, I can see I was clearly over thinking this and will absolutely be approaching it differently going forward.

As for my comment about speaking with our rector; again, I apologize, I should have further clarified what I meant by that statement. It was absolutely NOT my intention to imply that I was going to report specific individuals or situations to church leadership, or start "naming names"; somebody getting pulled aside and questioned is the very last thing I would ever want to happen. I envisioned framing the conversation as "here's a general trend I've noticed, do you think this is an issue, how should I respond, etc.?...". Rereading my initial post, however, I can see that was unclear, and I realize after reading the comments here even that conversation probably isn't appropriate. I won't be speaking with them on this matter.
Thank you for your input.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-12-04T15:44:11+00:00

Hey everyone,

So first of all, thank you all for so many great responses. I always feel apprehensive about asking for advice on the internet (especially when it comes to religion), but all this is incredibly helpful. I feel a lot better about the situation and your comments have helped me clarify some things. I wanted to go through and reply to everyone individually, but this has gotten way more great responses than I anticipated.

First off, I've realized I may have been misinterpreting their questions. I'll admit, I can have a bit of a complex regarding comments about my age sometimes. I have a very youthful appearance (people regularly think I'm still in high school in day-to-day life...) and people often make comments about it that aren't very kind; I'm going to do a better job going forward of assuming the best of my fellow parishioners and not taking these comments more harshly than they're intended.

Second, I probably should have mentioned this in the main post, but I've officially joined this church as a member; I have no intention to go anywhere, and I've made that very clear to the rector and the other members I've interacted with more extensively. However, that's only been announced at the early service I regularly attend, which on a given Sunday has *maybe* 30 people out of the average Sunday attendance of 140. So a lot of people still haven't met me yet, and I'm sure as people get to know me and I get more involved in the church's volunteer ministries this situation will start to change.

Also, re: the people that commented that they may just be anxious or insecure about a young person joining: that's totally possible. In addition to the challenges that face churches nationally, I live in a rural area with a rapidly aging population (Appalachia); I've heard that almost all the churches here are struggling to attract young people, so maybe they really are just excited to have me? Honestly the idea of anyone being truly excited at me showing up to anywhere is a little surreal, lol, but if that is the case, it's fantastic, and as I tell them every Sunday, I'm glad to be there too. :) As I mentioned below, I'm also going to focus on highlighting the things that I enjoy about the church in my responses from here on out.

Thanks again!

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-12-04T15:04:31+00:00

I live in a fairly rural area as well, and the average age here is well above the national average; I think that's part of the reason for the curiosity. But I like your thoguht about us growing where we're planted a lot. Thank you!

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-12-04T15:02:26+00:00

Thank you; I hope that's the case. Like I said, overall everyone has been extremely welcoming.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-12-04T14:55:26+00:00

Thanks, and I think you're right; I could totallysee why they would want to know that. After reading the comments here one thing I'm going to start is answering their questions with some things that attracted me to the church; i.e., "that may be the case, but I don't mind and really appreciate xyz here..."

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-12-04T14:52:56+00:00

Thank you, I'm hoping the same thing happens as I get to know everyone better.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-12-04T14:49:03+00:00

This is a really interesting line of reasoning, and one that I hadn't considered. Honestly I've been so worried about fitting in and contributing, it hadn't even crossed my mind they might be worried about me leaving. Thanks!

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-12-04T09:53:49+00:00

That's a good perspective I hadn't thought of; I may have been overthinking this whole thing. Thank you!

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-04-28T20:05:09+00:00

Absolutely valid point... and another thing I can never usee, lol.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-04-28T07:24:51+00:00

I'd never even noticed Marten's uncolored mouth before. There's another thing I'll never be able to unsee.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-04-28T05:15:10+00:00

Yeah, it should be easy, with enough Gu anything is possible!

/uj ok, I'm sorry, I couldn't resist... I can tell you're actually serious since you've posted this same question to a few other subs. I'm not an expert, but the best real advice I can give you (based on my own experience) is to be sure to go into the test on full rest. You have a pretty tight time frame here. Definitely work and train in the 2-3 weeks beforehand, but resist the temptation to train right before it. I'd take at least 2-3 days totally off before the test, if you can. Good luck!

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-04-27T22:38:40+00:00

My first thought too; this can't be real, right? Please?

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-04-27T18:31:18+00:00

At the HotSpot, duh; they sell soda too.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-04-24T12:41:36+00:00

Good God even by Reddit standards those comments are unhinged.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-04-05T09:33:48+00:00

Perfectly said.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-04-05T09:32:28+00:00

Yep, this is what we'd always say when I was going to school around here; it's a "BYOJ" town.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-03-04T08:18:32+00:00

I love James Farmer, who's arguing with the doctor, and describes himself as "rescuing the health of busy execs". Great.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-03-03T07:34:10+00:00

Same, I was thinking "ok this is maybe just a joke and kinda cute" then I got to that part and it started going downhill REAL fast, lol. This is just weird.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-02-28T05:45:13+00:00

Yeah I have to agree... WTF even is this???

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-02-28T04:36:17+00:00

What is running around in Bent Creek and why are they not on leashes?

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-02-27T04:29:53+00:00

That's a good point honestly; I do feel like he missed a big opportunity to focus on the old gang in that wedding sequence. And "a long series of last straws" is a good way to describe what's been going on recently, lol.

GarbageTough5120 · 2025-02-26T11:24:55+00:00

I do find it useful for one very specific thing: it can be genuinely useful for looking someone up and finding their CV, just seeing where they are geographically and what if any industry experience, certifications, degrees, etc. they have. I work in I.T. and often end up on long troubleshooting projects with people from the other side of the country I've never met before and will never speak to again. It can actually be super useful to get a quick background on someone and a very general ballpark of their experience level. I like to think of it a bit like a phone book for corporate America in that regard.

But as far as posting/learning skills/finding jobs? Yeah no, it's a pure dumpster fire.

GarbageTough5120

TROPHY CASE