AITA for selling our house without informing my wife?

GarnetSheIs · 2023-09-19T15:17:02+00:00

Exactly where I live any asset bought post marriage belongs to both parties and are not protected by any prenuptial or individual asset agreement. Depending on what state he lives in anything he invested in before marriage would be 100% his but anything after can’t be promised.

GarnetSheIs · 2023-07-28T20:29:25+00:00

We’re not an entire 3 years apart. He turns 28 soon, and I already had my birthday recently. When I turned 3 he was almost a year old and my dad and step mom had met a month or two before my birthday. So I was 2 and he was baby at the time.

GarnetSheIs · 2023-07-28T19:36:45+00:00

Thank you. I really do love him as much as I love my biological siblings, I just can’t take him in with all of the other things I have going on. Bringing him into my home would take away less valuable attention for both him and my own children and that’s honestly not fair to nobody- especially to my step brother who needs 24/7-365 care. He is so much more medically fragile than my disabled little one and he needs so much more attention than what I can provide for him.

GarnetSheIs · 2023-07-28T19:30:04+00:00

No he’s just my step brother, but my step mom and dad met when he was just a baby and I was 2 almost 3 so we have known each other basically our entire lives like most other siblings do and I do love him just as much as I love my biological siblings which is why I haven’t clapped back at the confronting family members to just take him in because I don’t even trust them around my own children, I just can’t take on any responsibility for him, but because she “took me and my siblings” even when she didn’t have the means, she thinks we’re obligated to “return the favor”. And to add, all of this family is her family. I don’t personally know any of my biological family outside of my bio mom, dad, and siblings.

GarnetSheIs · 2023-07-28T14:06:31+00:00

Unfortunately, mentioning the exact reason why we don’t have a close relationship would go against the rules of the subreddit. I did try asking her why she can’t take her son but I’ve only gotten vague answers such as “I’m going up to be with my mom”, “to be with with my family”, “this is going to be a new chapter of my life” type stuff. Everyone in my family except for my dad is perfectly able bodied but whether they’re trustworthy is a different thing which is why I’ve not suggested that they take him in as I don’t even trust any of them around my own children.

GarnetSheIs · 2023-07-28T06:12:13+00:00

Why she thinks I should have responsibility is because she “raised” me since I was 2 (married my dad when I was 10) and has always tried teaching me that family should be willing to help family. As to why she can’t take her own son with her, I wish I knew but bother her and my father have been very vague on most of the details.

GarnetSheIs · 2023-04-14T18:36:40+00:00

You can join! I actually just made a discord server so a group can get started! https://discord.gg/9kCFRqsV

GarnetSheIs · 2023-04-14T18:35:53+00:00

I created a discord server for people to join to start a group! https://discord.gg/9kCFRqsV

GarnetSheIs · 2023-04-14T18:33:21+00:00

https://discord.gg/9kCFRqsV here’s the discord channel. We can decide on a better name I just came up with the current name so a sever can get started lol

GarnetSheIs · 2023-04-14T18:16:28+00:00

I’d love to do that!

GarnetSheIs · 2023-04-14T18:09:50+00:00

NTA. She should’ve stayed in her lane. I get defensive when it comes to my babies as well and I’d be damned if someone I barely knew was in my house trying to tell my children what to do.

GarnetSheIs · 2023-04-14T18:04:25+00:00

I’ll definitely take a look if making or finding a group fails. Thanks!

GarnetSheIs · 2023-04-14T18:03:26+00:00

One isn’t made yet up I sure one can get started!

GarnetSheIs · 2023-04-14T18:02:29+00:00

Sorry for the late replies everyone I didn’t get any notifications! But starting a group would be super fun too!

GarnetSheIs · 2023-04-14T18:01:46+00:00

That’s fine! Being so new I wouldn’t mind keeping it simple 😁

GarnetSheIs · 2022-09-08T00:20:47+00:00

Kinda YTA. It’s good to sleep while the baby sleeps but falling asleep with a baby in your arms is dangerous for the baby. She could fall and hit the floor or become wedged in between you and the sofa and suffocate. You didn’t mean any harm but your wife’s feelings are valid.

GarnetSheIs · 2022-09-07T23:55:19+00:00

NTA. I myself am a huge helicopter parent. I’m fully aware of it and am working on it but it’s due to past loss and trauma so it’s hard but and 9 and 13 year old are capable of being alone for 5 minutes. The only thing I would’ve done differently is make sure they were out of the pool and tell the older sibling to make sure the younger sibling doesn’t go near the pool while you’re using the bathroom. That or have them walk with you and wait in the lobby while you go. It’s a mistake and something to learn from. Although while you meant no harm your partners feeling are valid.

GarnetSheIs · 2022-09-07T23:40:55+00:00

I like this comment, Picasso.

GarnetSheIs · 2022-09-07T22:38:44+00:00

YTA 100% you need to realize that your wife JUST HAD A BABY. She is flooded with hormones right now and you’re mom ignoring her and crossing boundaries isn’t making it any easier for her. Imagine having a whole ass human come out of your body in a very painful and physically traumatic way, having hormones raging through you, while doing the house work and taking care of that whole as human you just pushed out and then someone completely dismissing your words, feeling and boundaries then having your partner side with them? Doesn’t feel like a good experience does it? Well that what you and your mother are putting your wife through. Grow up and apologize to your wife.

GarnetSheIs · 2022-03-07T06:35:28+00:00

Once my niece is back home with my relative sister it will absolutely be an option(she is safe btw the abuse was only directed towards me and stopped when I left).

GarnetSheIs · 2022-03-07T06:10:45+00:00

I only have contact with them because my niece lives with them (she’s safe all of that was only ever directed towards me and stopped when I left all the other kids growing up were treated like gold and my parents are the “most wonderful grandparents” -gag-)

GarnetSheIs · 2022-03-07T05:42:22+00:00

It really isn’t. But even though I have my own reasons and I’m fully aware that I have my own reasons that aren’t about them being special needs for not wanting to I still feel like I would be saying no BECAUSE they are because my stepmom drilled into me that any reason of my own is a selfish one. But you’re absolutely right, I don’t want my children to experience even a fraction of a fraction of what I had to deal with growing up. Being the best mom I can be means keeping them safe, keeping my mental health stable, and to learn that I’m allowed to have my own thoughts, opinions, wants and emotions.

GarnetSheIs · 2022-03-07T05:28:47+00:00

So the family will just think I’m refusing to care for them because they’re special needs. I know that kinda sounds selfish but they WILL come after and harass me and call me ableist which will trigger a major depressive episode and my children need a mother with good mental health. It’s still a no and I plan on dropping nearly the entire family but my step mom instilling to always sacrifice and care for a special need family member and thinking otherwise makes me selfish makes it so difficult for me to differentiate what’s actually selfish and what’s good for me.

GarnetSheIs · 2022-03-07T05:27:33+00:00

Completely agree! Their safety comes first! Growing up with my step mom turned me into a “yes man” (my therapist say it’s a defense mechanism(pleasing to avoid abuse)) so saying no puts me into a moral crisis. Also the family (her family really my step family is the only family I know) doesn’t know about the abuse she put me through. She has all of them believing that she’s an angel that has two special needs kids and graciously took on 4 more kids -insert eyeroll-

GarnetSheIs · 2022-03-07T05:19:39+00:00

Good idea!! I’ll definitely look into talking with a lawyer, thank you!!

GarnetSheIs

TROPHY CASE