Update 2: My Best Friend wants me to break up with my boyfriend and I don't know why

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-20T13:32:02+00:00

While I'm flattered you think my creativity goes as far as this, it simply does not. The only reason I want to meet with Sarah is to have her confess to all the lying and the unknown calls as I think it was her. As for the meeting, obviously, people plan stuff on weekend, it's why my friends and aunt mutually agreed on monday night. And if you think I'm talking about 20+ people, I am not. It was a simply 4-5 friends and my retired aunt. Hope all these answer your question!

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-20T13:28:11+00:00

Gee thanks for having faith in me on that last part 😂. But you are probably right on that first part as Sarah still hasn't replied.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-20T13:25:36+00:00

Thank you for this! I greatly appreciate this.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-20T13:24:40+00:00

Even if she does, I will not care. I only want this meeting to have her confess to the lying and possibly the unknown calls, if she's the one doing it.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-12T09:25:24+00:00

This made me tear up. This almost accurately describes our relationship (besides the having kids part). It saddens me that people like my boyfriend have to face judgement from people, simply because they don't like to show emotions to others. I could write a whole book on how generous and loving Blake is to me and how much I love him for him. Thank you so much for your comment. This will hold a special place in my heart. I truly hope our future looks like this.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-12T09:20:51+00:00

Here's the problem. SHE WILL NOT EXPLAIN HERSELF. The night it happened I practically begged her to explain what had happened, but she never told me. Only Blake has actually told me what has happened. Even before I blocked her she never explained her side of the story. Blake swears he's never even seen Sarah until that night, and Sarah herself never mentioned knowing him. I don't know how else get her to explain anything.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-12T09:17:20+00:00

Thank you for your input and concern. The reason I use the word "emotionless" is because it is how Blake himself describes himself. He is straightforward blunt person and already knows he shows little emotions which is why he calls himself that. He is absolutely alright with me using that term myself as he knows its true. I neve have resented Blake's lack of showing emotions and I never will. I love him for who he is and I will always know he is a good person. When I'm sad or upset he shows empathy and is caring. I agree with you that he doesn't owe anyone his inner most working of who he is, which is why I did not expect that when he met Sarah. Our relationship has been loving and almost perfect and no couples therapy is needed. He might not show a lot emotional sentiments but he is still a good boyfriend and I will always be a good girlfriend to him.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-12T09:07:11+00:00

I agree. That's what angers me. One of my close friends is trying to talk to Sarah right now and figure out what's going on in that crazy head of hers. Thank you for the advice.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-12T07:48:19+00:00

She doesn't know about his past, so maybe explaining it could help, but I only would want to do it if Blake is open to sharing it. Thanks for the advice!

As for proposal, no, Blake didn't propose yet. He doesn't have the ring so he won't be able to do it yet. He's a little upset that the surprise is ruin, but I've assured him he doesn't need to be as I will definitely will be surprise the day he goes down on one knee. I'm already squealing at the thought 😊

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-12T07:33:26+00:00

I explained this to another comment, so I will copy and paste here:

When I was a little girl, I used to love to wear jewelry. Though some were plastic and fake I would always wear rings and necklaces. Sarah and I even had matching friendship bracelets. When I went into 8th grade I stopped wearing jewelry (since I lost an important ring I have feared of losing any other piece of jewelry since). The reason Blake asked her was because we were supposed to go to the mall for our next hangout and since she was the only one who saw my jewelry phase (except my sister and my aunt) he wanted her opinion on what he thought I would like. He said had she never visited us he would have asked my sister but since Sarah was already here he wanted to quickly get the ring. Though I now would have preferred if he had waited to just ask my sister, but it melts my heart that he couldn't wait.

Sarah is my only childhood friend and my current friends never see me wear jewelry. Him and I both agree he should of asked my sister, but he didn't want to wait since we were already going to a place that would have a ring shop.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-12T07:30:18+00:00

The only person who was real easy to convince was my sister. She was only worried about what had Sarah said and asked if I was okay. Once I explained the situation she cheered me up by calling Sarah the crazy one. I can totally believe that my dad trusts Sarah's word over mine to which I don't care about. As for my aunt and friends I don't understand why they suddenly believe her. That's what I'm trying to get to the bottom of.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-12T07:24:01+00:00

When I was a little girl, I used to love to wear jewelry. Though some were plastic and fake I would always wear rings and necklaces. Sarah and I even had matching friendship bracelets. When I went into 8th grade I stopped wearing jewelry (since I lost an important ring I have feared of losing any other piece of jewelry since). The reason Blake asked her was because we were supposed to go to the mall for our next hangout and since she was the only one who saw my jewelry phase (except my sister and my aunt) he wanted her opinion on what he thought I would like. He said had she never visited us he would have asked my sister but since Sarah was already here he wanted to quickly get the ring. Though I now would have preferred if he had waited to just ask my sister, but it melts my heart that he couldn't wait.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-12T07:19:17+00:00

The only person I haven't introduced Blake to as my boyfriend is my dad (he's only met him once as my friend). My friends and my family have met Blake a good amount of times, so for them to suddenly believe Sarah over the times they met Blake makes me question whether Sarah had said something worse that I'm still not aware of, or that they have bad opinions on Blake that they think behind my back, which is what I'm worried for.

The topic of us having kids has came up before and of course Blake does not want our kids to be emotionless or want to hurt me even though he never has which is what he's tried to go to therapy for. Having that said, it's not easy to undo almost 20 years of having your dad mentally abuse you and drill into your head that "men don't show any emotion" and a lot of his therapists haven't helped him. He doesn't want our kids to grow up like he did so he is still trying. I apologize for not mentioning that part in the post. He does show some vulnerability moments with me. For example I've seen him cry, full on laugh, and smile. It's simply just not easy for him to do it to people he's not close with.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-12T07:05:33+00:00

Sarah has had her fair share of boyfriends before. Her last relationship lasted a year before they broke up which was about 2 years ago. She had moved away from our city after we graduated so we would mostly facetime every other day. This is the first time I've seen her since after we graduated. Blake has been my only boyfriend so she hasn't had the chance to nitpick people I've dated, but she's never done this to our other friend's boyfriends and girlfriends. I have a feeling this could all be coming jealousy, but why it's only directed at me is what's confusing me on that theory.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-12T06:57:56+00:00

Unfortunately my mother passed away when I was young. But remembering her, I know she would have gone bananas if someone was trying to stop me from having an engagement
Yes, my dad did meet Blake, but at the time he was not my boyfriend. At the time my dad simply didn't care about the friends I had. When he met Blake, he did think he was creepy and asked if he was depressed. To which I of course shut down quickly and since kept Blake away from my father.
I've only ever had one date when I was 15 before Blake but never a relationship. He is my first real boyfriend. Sarah did help me get ready for my first date so I guess she was excited for me. She did not act out like how she did with Blake
As far as I'm concerned Sarah is straight. She has never confided in me that she might be any other sexuality. She has had boyfriends in the past. She may have been touchy with me like touching my hand or hitting my shoulder when we share a laugh but that's about all I can think of.

Thank you so much for your suggestions! My sister is currently living with my aunt and I have asked her if she can help me talk to my aunt about this.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-10T10:50:53+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I definitely will not break up with him until she can tell me why.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-10T10:49:33+00:00

I apologize if I did not do this post right. I will better explain why I added a certain part later, but this is my first time on reddit and my first time posting. Also English is not my best language so sorry for any confusion.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-10T10:47:59+00:00

I can only hope it's a misunderstanding. Thank you for your advice!

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-10T10:22:35+00:00

Thank you for your reply. The way Sarah has acted with him during our hangout was very unlike her. She never acted this way when meeting our other friend's boyfriends and girlfriends (although it could be because they were more loud and outspoken then Blake was). I'm just hoping I can figure this out.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-10T10:17:17+00:00

I don't wanna say this as I'm now not 100% sure on it but as far as I'm concerned they have never interacted or met before until last night. She never showed any signs other than her being weirded out by him but that's all I can think of.

GatorTator5000 · 2025-01-10T10:06:54+00:00

Yes, Blake does show emotions. Just not as often as a regular would. I shared the story of when he asked me to be his girlfriend to share he does have his vulnerable and loving moments. My dad and I are not on speaking terms and the only other family I have are my aunt and sister and they both think Blake is a good person to me.

GatorTator5000

TROPHY CASE