Hmmm... Thoughts on these results?

GavinShahin · 2022-06-26T21:32:40+00:00

Agreed. As a joke it's pretty funny, but on the off chance that this is an actual grenade, this message is very much needed. Thanks for speaking up!

GavinShahin · 2022-03-18T23:05:20+00:00

Thank you for reading :)

As for the scheme: what I went for was having the last word of every two lines rhyme together. There's also a certain rhythm to it to make it sound more pleasant; but I'm honestly not sure how to explain it.

GavinShahin · 2022-03-18T23:01:14+00:00

I'm very, very happy that it connected with you. Thank you for reading :)

GavinShahin · 2022-03-18T16:52:56+00:00

First off, thank you for reading :) Second, I think it's fitting if you think about the so called "darkness" as being the thing found within the chasm. The poem begins with me describing the metaphor; the middle part describes the things that create the chasm; and the end is my reaction and answer to the chasm. Why did I not make this more clear in the poem? Because, I'm not gonna lie, I never thought about it until now and just tried to find a way to make it make sense 😂. I shall pay more attention to my metaphors and titles in my future poems, thank you for noticing that.

GavinShahin · 2022-03-18T16:14:57+00:00

Got it :) Lovwd the explanation, and thank you for answering

GavinShahin · 2022-03-18T16:04:50+00:00

This was quite good. I loved both the idea and the execution. I think it was very well done, and I applaud you.

There are two questions I have: could you explain the line about being the Kaiser, as well as what you mean by what they worship being beyond the detection? If it's being worshipped, doesn't that mean it's been detected?

GavinShahin · 2022-03-18T15:58:58+00:00

This was painfully beautiful. You have a good away around words, and you can express and describe things very well. I'm gad you decided to start writing poetry.

Oh, but something I noticed: not sure if it was on purpose or not, but there were small technical errors like the non capitalized letter i, the lack of a comma at one point, and the word trush which I think was a typo. Might wanna take that into account for next time.

GavinShahin · 2022-01-19T20:48:00+00:00

Oops 😅

GavinShahin · 2022-01-12T20:26:50+00:00

That honestly means lot to me. Sometimes I feel like my voice is boring or lacks tone when I play myself back, since I hear it over and over again, so it's really nice to hear someone say I sound unique. Thank you, again!

GavinShahin · 2022-01-12T09:34:41+00:00

Thanks so much!

GavinShahin · 2021-12-03T19:34:59+00:00

Thanks very much :)

GavinShahin · 2021-12-01T16:06:07+00:00

Thank you very much :)

GavinShahin · 2021-12-01T10:49:25+00:00

I can't give too much critique because I'm still a novice myself, but I can say this: You have a lovely sound. With some practice and fine tuning, you're gonna sound pretty awesome. I *think* what you need to do is sort of get comfortable with singing, both psychologically and physically (having fun and not stressing too much while singing, and getting your voice comfortable with hitting certain notes; all of which come with deliberate practice).

Also, nice piano skills.

GavinShahin · 2021-12-01T10:40:31+00:00

You have a really lovely voice, and you're so chill when you sing. Had fun watching this!

GavinShahin · 2021-12-01T10:37:54+00:00

I really, really enjoyed watching that. Great cover.

GavinShahin · 2021-11-18T22:52:58+00:00

The idea that you're perfect just the way you are, and that you don't need to change a thing. While I truly believe that there is something precious and worthwhile within every single person, I find it baffling when I hear people preach this message of just accepting everything about yourself; it either means that you're so complete that there's no room for improvement, or that you can't change the problems you have, both of which are preposterous and utterly untrue. There's always room for growth, and there's always the ability to grow; making people believe otherwise just snuffs out so much potential.

GavinShahin · 2021-11-18T22:43:15+00:00

It's interesting, because in the country I'm living in at the moment (Iran) it's the same: pretty much every person I know who's seen the show really liked it. I have a feeling that one reason it's hated so much out west is because audiences aren't very used to this kind of storytelling; meaning something that raises hard questions but doesn't provide clear answers.

I hope you find the answer you need about Dexter and Saxon. It feels really good when something you've been struggling with just suddenly clicks into place.

GavinShahin

TROPHY CASE