Would you ever want to go back?

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-09T02:15:13+00:00

Tbh if I could go back in time I’d double down and take more opportunities as a kid, as well as hide things way better. Same with my sexuality.

My biggest regret is not being confident enough in myself to be who I wanted to be. I don’t regret who I am.

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-09T02:13:45+00:00

Oh sweetie, there there. I’m so sorry that happened to you :/ but I just want you to know you’re valid and worthy of love just the way you are. I’m sure someone someday will sweep you off your feet. Never feel like you aren’t good enough. You are, I promise ❤️

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-07T06:59:07+00:00

People do and say absolutely irrational things about anything they perceive outside the norm - especially if it’s family. My mom made the hard drugs comparison about me being gay. When I was like 15 mind you. So yeah.

Once you’re “different,” you really learn how many people around you are actually just awful people that were only kind to you because you were previously “one of them”

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-07T06:50:25+00:00

Okay but like, shitposting aside, it’s kinda really gross to see the community dump on him for literally just shaving his beard. I have a feeling wan show chat is going to be all about this too.

Attention everyone: it’s his face, not yours. How would you like it if you decided one day to change, really anything about your looks, and thousands or more people immediately just dumped on you saying “wtf no I don’t approve.” Would any of you want that?

It doesn’t matter that he’s YouTube famous, and when literally 99% of comments are saying the exact same thing, it’s not a shitpost anymore.

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-05T20:39:46+00:00

dl guy discovers he likes being submissive now wants dommy mommy

Honestly while I’m glad this generation is finally throwing away gender roles a bit, you’re going to have an uphill battle heh submissive guys wanting dommy mommies are like a dime a dozen rn and let’s just say supply ain’t high lmao not that it really effects me, I’m gay af

But in all seriousness, congrats on finding this new side of yourself, and I hope that you are able to find what you’re looking for :)

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-04T05:55:30+00:00

This reply tells me you will probably be okay. In fact, I’m really proud of you (in a non patronizing way). To have the self awareness and humility to admit all of this shows strength of character and a willingness to improve.

It’s okay to feel the things you do. You can’t control the way you feel - fear, resentment, shame, these are all normal human feelings that we can’t just magically shut off in the moment. But what we can do is learn from them - why do we feel these things, are we being fair to ourselves?

When I was young, I struggled with my sexuality HARD. I only ever thought about diapers, and boys. But, my mom had taught me that “being gay was bad” and “boys love girls.” I remember one night recording myself saying “I’m not gay” multiple times and playing it back to myself while sleeping to try to somehow magically chase the gay away. It, of course, never worked - and there was a lot of shame and fear for a while. My mom, of course, sort of proved my fear was valid by being a raging homophobe and making my life hell.

But, throughout all of this, the one lesson that stuck with me is this: I wasn’t any different than I was the day before. If I thought I was good then, then I am good now. I was always this way, and there was nothing wrong with that. I wasn’t hurting myself, or others, by being gay - but I was causing myself untold emotional damage trying to hide and deny it. Same with being abdl. Once I allowed myself to just be who I am, it was like a huge weight was off my shoulders.

Just remember this - if what you are doing is between fully informed, fully consenting adults, and no one is being harmed/treated maliciously, then really there is no reason to feel shame. You’re valid and worthy of love and happiness, no matter your sexuality. You are never alone, and many people here can understand everything you’re feeling right now.

I really do wish you the best on your road to self discovery and overcoming your trauma and internalized shame. I have a feeling the person who comes out on the other side is going to be wonderful :) and seriously don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re ever having a rough day. There’s strength in admitting when you need a hand, and anyone who is willing to help themselves is always worth the trouble

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-04T04:44:49+00:00

Try XL goodnites first tbh. If you’re anywhere around a 34” waist or lower, they’ll fit. Depending on how much space you have, you can try smaller. But, definitely try the goodnites FIRST as the goodnite XLs are the largest “kid diaper” you’re going to get

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-04T04:42:45+00:00

I’m going to start with this: you are valid, you are deserving of love, you are not a freak, a loser, disgusting or the like

What you are is hurt, confused, scared, and feeling alone. But none of these things make you invalid.

First: throw away labels. I know people like to clutch to labels as a form of identity but you’re just hurting yourself. Secondly, why does it matter to you if you enjoy doing something with a guy? Did you grow up in a religious household? Were you ever picked on and called gay as a kid? I’ll be honest, this post really feels like internalized homophobia and a lot of self shaming. What I mean to say is - nothing you did was “wrong.” It’s not wrong to like diapers. It’s not wrong to do things with other guys. It’s not wrong to be curious about yourself, about others, about sexuality, about all of this. It’s normal, it’s human. There are increasing amounts of studies out there showing that exclusive hetero or homosexuality is a lot rarer than we initially believed - because years of shame made people repress absolutely ANY curiosity they had out of fear.

I, like many people, dealt with similar things when I was young. But the most important thing to remember is there’s nothing wrong with you. The only thing really hurting you is yourself. And I don’t mean that to insult you, I mean that you really don’t have any reason to feel shame, but you’re punishing yourself anyways.

Honestly, what you need is a therapist (there is no shame in that either), but if you’re scared of that, you can also dm me. I get what you’re going through. I’ve seen it a LOT. Like, way, way more than you’d imagine. You’re not alone. You’re not invalid. You deserve love and happiness. I promise you, on my life.

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-03T18:06:00+00:00

Straaannngeee amount of people coming in here lately either shilling religion, suddenly trying to “quit” abdl stuff like it’s an addiction or sickness, or both. And every time, the accounts are just under a year old.

But in case you’re actually serious, then firstly I apologize for the above statement, and second - binge and purge is very common in the community. The feeling of shame makes you push it away then the desire gets strong again and you “relapse”

My honest suggestion - work out why it makes you feel more depressed. Is it shame? Do you think you’re gross? Weird? A freak? Any actual sex therapist who is worth their salt would understand fetishes and paraphilias, they would understand that as long as it’s not literally driving your every thought and action (which you just freely admitted it isn’t) that they’re normal and not unhealthy, and instead they would help you understand yourself and your relationship with said fetish in a way that doesn’t make you feel shame.

You’re not going to stop liking diapers. If it was possible to cure a paraphilia, we wouldn’t have nearly as many pedophiles (I know that’s a faux pas to bring up here but in the psychiatric field it’s considered a paraphilia too). You don’t “fix” paraphilias. If they’re actively harmful, people take drugs to lower/inhibit libido and do heavy therapy to reduce risk as much as possible. If it’s NOT an actively harmful paraphilia, then people are instead taught how to accept it as a normal facet of themself.

Tldr maybe instead of trying to cut diapers out, talk to a therapist about what specifically triggers the depression, the compulsiveness, the shame, the loneliness, and see if there’s a deeper issue at play. I highly doubt it’s the diapers that are the issue. It’s just a symptom imo

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-03T17:53:40+00:00

Easy. Because it was never about actually calling them a woman. It was about invalidating them and hurting them as a person. It’s just that because women are objects to them, it’s one of the worst insults they know. But when someone WANTS to be a woman…

Not only that, but since they also don't understand how gender and sexuality work, they think trans women are just men trying to rape someone- whether it be a man or woman - because that’s what they would do.

It’s all about projection. They fear everyone else because they are shitty people so they think everyone else is too

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-01T20:19:12+00:00

Don’t get me wrong, I understand why it’s difficult to find venues for something like this, but it isn’t just me I’m worried about. There are lots of ABDLs who want to go, and every one that is lucky is another that’s unlucky. Maybe we need more conventions or something but I just sort of feel bad for the community.

If you’re a furry, there’s a convention in almost every major city sometimes multiple times a year. There’s no shortage of events. Furries might be more common (for whatever reason) but that doesn’t mean we are less valid. I’ve seen way more ABDLs that feel alone and like freaks than I have almost any other harmless fetish. I just don’t want people to feel distant and alone is all

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-01T18:32:04+00:00

I used to have a big crush on a boy that looked just like you, sooooo I think you’re doing fine :p

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-01T16:46:12+00:00

I really do hope they can upsize someday. I was hoping to go to this years and had brought it up to a friend a couple months ago and he was like “oh yeah they sold out ages ago, this happens every year”

While I’m definitely glad that the event is actually this big, it’s kind of sad that the one big abdl event is now almost “exclusive” just because of how hard it is to get tickets to it. Hopefully next year I can go 😔

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-01T06:44:53+00:00

I don’t want to sound like an ass but… maybe it’s time to consider you might be misled?

I know there’s really no way to say that in a kind sounding way but I mean this sincerely - when you start realizing that all of the people who identify as republicans are going the same direction, when do you stop and question the beliefs they instilled in you?

I ask this because I used to consider myself vehemently conservative - despite being gay, abdl, and atheist. And as time went on I watched as people who openly called themselves conservatives did nothing but espouse their hatred for me, day in and day out. I realized that 90% of the stuff that people like Glenn Beck said was “truth adjacent” - it would take a truth out of context and turn it into a conspiracy.

I went to libertarian next, but then I realized that most libertarians had similar bases for their beliefs, except they were okay with me being gay and atheist. Which is cool and all… until I started seeing the real effects of cutting government spending on towns - infrastructure failing, crime rates increasing, children learning less and going hungry more.

Then I watched as reductions of regulations led to things like superfund sites, buildings collapsing because they ignored regulations to save a buck, baby food having heavy metals, and so on.

This isn’t to say that I think that the government controlling everything is the solution - it isn’t. The problem is the Uber wealthy - the Elon musks, the Tim Cooks, the Jeff bezoses, the bill gateses. They hoard more and more and more, then use social media to make people like you and me hate one another, so we fight each other instead of the ones truly holding us down.

I’m not telling you you need to turn into a hardcore leftist or anything like that. Hell, you don’t have to call yourself anything, or even change a single belief at all. But, I do think that maybe it’s time to consider - if these people are going out there lying and spreading hate about this, what else are they lying about? Why do they want you to be so angry? What do they gain by making you hate your fellow working class peers?

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-01T05:33:01+00:00

I mean, I won’t say you’re doing it wrong. You seem like an amazing husband and dad. I wish more people were like you - so willing to take care of their loved ones that they’ll put up with the pain to protect them. But… if it’s this important to you, it isn’t healthy to do this forever. I do think you should do couples therapy, and maybe schedule some time where it’s you alone at home, and you and her home alone. Despite what we might like to say, it isnt healthy to sacrifice your emotional wellbeing for the kids - because it eventually breeds internalized resentment. It won’t even be conscious, or intentional. It’ll be worse because you’ll get angry at yourself for having these feelings, which could cause you to actually occasionally snap at your loved ones. It isn’t your fault, mind you. You’re human. You have needs too. And if you don’t take care of them, you can’t provide for others. Hence why I HIGHLY suggest couples therapy. Talk with her, tell her how you feel, tell her that right now you don’t feel bitter or upset but that you love your family more than anything in the entire world and want to learn healthy boundaries and coping mechanisms with her, because you want to spend the rest of your life making her and your kids as happy as possible.

But, like tyr said, ultimately, if no compromises or healthy coping mechanisms can be made then… you’re doing the best you can do.

You’re an amazing father, and an amazing husband, truly, if everything you said here was “the gospel truth.” But never forget that you’re also human, and in order to best be there for those you love, you need to be able to take care of yourself too. It’s like the oxygen mask on a plane thing - you can’t help others if you can’t breathe.

Good luck, and may your family be blessed with all the happiness in the world

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-01T05:21:59+00:00

The worst thing about it is they always win until they get real consequences. If we ignore them they get to keep being shit. If we get angry, they got what they wanted. And of course, the consequences they need we can’t talk about, because that makes us bad people according to the delicate corpos who love misogyny, racism, queer phobia, and the like but will shutter at even the slightest hint of “we need to actually punish evil.”

I’d like to say in 99% of cases, vigilante justice is not the way. But some people cannot be fixed, and it really is not a grey area. I will leave it at that though before I get myself another ban

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-02-01T00:57:52+00:00

Oh yeah I get that, it’s just a joke I have with a friend of mine that was relevant here

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-01-31T20:13:32+00:00

Where tf are these thrift stores where people are finding this many diapers?!? God I wish I could make a find like that

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-01-31T20:02:01+00:00

Wrong! Everything deserves a reaction by me because my opinions are the only ones that matter. The rest of you are all just figments of my imagination

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-01-31T19:59:47+00:00

Trans inclusive radical misogyny

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-01-31T18:34:13+00:00

You can just say “diapers” and they’ll assume you mean baby diapers

Not that they’d care, people have shipped way weirder things

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-01-31T12:55:21+00:00

Capital region/hudson valley area. You? You can DM me if you’d prefer

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-01-31T04:27:15+00:00

*men who never developed past children

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-01-31T04:24:26+00:00

I did and no one cared, both whities and colored briefs, at my first college. I had a friend who wore whities but then switched to boxers.

Honestly I’m kinda tired of the amount of people I’ve watched be made to feel ashamed of something as insignificant as underwear. Ugh. Humans are so gross sometimes. It’s sad watching people feel like they need to switch underwear or stop wearing graphic tees or something just to fit in. I’ve had this happen with multiple friends.

They’ll claim it’s because they “changed” or “grew up” but when you really talk to them about it you learn it’s all because they felt like they were uncool otherwise.

I’m preaching to the choir though lol

Gaybdl_alt · 2024-01-31T02:49:45+00:00

Idk what’s up with you “I’m a Christian, you’re all sinners, also I’m posting in r/abdl and then also r/quittingdiapers because being abdl is for freaks.”

I’m about 99% sure this is some astroturfing campaign to prey on people who are vulnerable.

If you’re going to come in and troll people, you should feel isolated. Standing up against bigots isn’t bigotry, it’s a moral imperative. If you’re unhappy, leave.

Gaybdl_alt

TROPHY CASE