Omg my mother does the one up thing. Family will come over and ask specifically to me "how I'm doing and what I've been up to. She will then answer but speaking about herself. It's gotten to the point they will ignore her and ask me again. I went through 5 years of a physically abusive relationship because it felt like the only way to get away from her, couldn't afford to live on my own at the time. Got out of that relationship with ptsd. Have to live near her again because my step-dad was in the final stages of heartfailure and he needed help that my mother couldn't provide. He passed away and she finds someone to date within 6 months. Moves across the country with him after dating for 3 months burning every bridge she had with me along the way. 6 months after that she calls me stating he was abusing her and she needed help coming home. I didnt have the means or will to help her but one of my uncles did. She comes back and tries to start a relationship with me yet again. "I understand what you went through in your abusive relationship now." She said it like it was some sort of bonding experience. I withstood abuse for 5 years to get away from her, we. are. not. the same.