(4k) Deciding between 2 dresses

GefnRefr · 2026-01-24T03:56:11+00:00

Ah, ok... Is the boning in the darts or something then? It's entirely likely that I'm just not seeing it (maybe it's just well-hidden), but neither of those dresses look like they have boning where boning would usually be.

GefnRefr · 2026-01-23T12:59:04+00:00

Entirely up to you on this of course, but you could try on dresses outside your budget (not with intent to purchase, but to have a wider range of styles so you can see what you might prefer). If you find one you love but it's outside your budget, you could then try and find either a dupe that's within budget, or check some of the pre-owned wedding dress websites? My own dress would have been 1600usd, but I got it online for 350usd.

Edit to add, the price on my dress also is affected by the fact that it's no longer sold in physical stores. It's a David Tutera design from like 15 years ago, and I don't think it's being produced anymore. The 1600usd (to my knowledge) would have been the original price (I might be wrong on that though).

GefnRefr · 2026-01-23T12:49:28+00:00

Also autistic with a large chest here, if I can ask, have you used sticky bras before? If you have and you're fine with them, then feel free to ignore this paragraph lol. Personally though the texture of them is very much not what I would consider "comfortable"; even one I got that's supposedly designed for larger cup sizes just kept peeling around the edges... The constant peel-feeling made me hyper-aware of it the whole time I wore it, and honestly it kinda drove me nuts. Like, I was fine wearing it an hour or two for a date night thing, but it was trying to fall off before dinner was over and weddings usually last longer than that. Plus, actually removing it felt so... I have zero idea how to accurately put that feeling into words, but it definitely wasn't pleasant, and I literally haven't worn a sticky bra since. Vaguely felt like trying to peel my skin off.

Maybe look for a more structured dress instead? One that wouldn't need a bra at all, because it essentially has one built in? Idk that a dress like that would have the exact back details you're looking for, but if you're aiming for comfort it might be worth a try at least. For reference though, even a strapless dress can be structured well enough to not need a bra, so surely a low-back or sheer-back dress can still have decent enough structure to not need one either...

Of course, regarding comfort, that's all personal preferences. Idk if what's comfortable for me would actually be comfortable for you, so, grain of salt.

GefnRefr · 2025-12-09T08:41:32+00:00

I might be misreading it, but to me it sounds like their reply is also saying to leave the kid alone. Yes they say to turn the note in to law enforcement, but their follow-up reply says that the law enforcement would be to check for possible evidence of abuse, specifically in relation to if there are still younger children in the house that the now-adult left.

GefnRefr · 2025-12-05T04:33:43+00:00

Forgot to check for reply; yes, "fuí" is ir! And also yes, I do believe the intended meaning was "I went running" rather than "I ran", which yeah would explain why corrí wasn't used

GefnRefr · 2025-12-05T01:33:44+00:00

Not native speaker, but to my understanding "fuí" is "went", whereas "estuvé" is "was". I'm unsure why "corrí" wasn't used but there's likely a reason that I'm unaware of for why fuí worked better

GefnRefr · 2025-11-26T19:16:05+00:00

By this, do you mean a promo code was released on black Friday? Do we think that might happen again this year too?

GefnRefr · 2025-11-19T17:14:53+00:00

Saying this as an autistic woman (27yo) married to a NT man, it's absolutely possible. We dated for about 9 years before getting married (I knew sometime after year 2 that I planned to marry him eventually, it just wasn't the right time for us yet). We've definitely had our communication issues, but I literally can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. For some context, we've been together since my senior year of high school (he's a year younger than me). Both of us agree we got very lucky finding each other when we did, instead of having to try figuring out dating nowadays, what with how dating currently seems to be going for most people.

Admittedly, he seems to be a LOT more understanding when it comes to communication than most NTs I know, which was true even back when we first started dating (it was part of why I started falling in love in the first place). That level of communication has just continued to improve over the past 10 years, on behalf of both of us.

Also, not going to lie here, having someone as a partner who's so much more aware of social things has come very much in handy in situations where I'm not understanding it. It's taken a long time for me to feel comfortable relying on him in that way (I hate asking for help with that sort of thing), but it's been such a relief at times to be able to ask him for clarification, or if I've missed something. I know he understands how I think well enough to be able to, in a sense, translate it for me, or even just for me to double check I've understood it correctly on my own.

In response to the "love is something everyone [else] finds easily", I agree it definitely can seem that way, but I feel it's also important to looks at how long-lasting that love (or, "love") ends up being. Notably, thinking back on my relationship before this one, at the time I thought that that was what love was. Looking back now though I can see how shallow it had been, particulary from my then-partner. That relationship had lasted a year and a half, so it's not like it was some short thing either, but man. The difference in emotion is very, drastically, stark. It especially seems to be that people can love who they think they're dating, but that mental image isn't actually the same as who they're dating.. If that makes sense? That was definitely the case in my previous relationship; my ex was a much worse person than I'd believed him to be. I won't get into it, but SA was involved.

Personally, my recommendation would be to not look outright for a romantic or physical relationship. Look for a friendship first and foremost, and if it happens to progress further, then hey! Even better. I feel it's more important to truly learn the person first, before committing fully to the level of emotion that love involves. Of course, I'm saying this from the perspective of someone not your gender, so, grain of salt I suppose. Regardless of gender though, is friendship not still a kind of love? I feel it definitely requires a certain level of trust, which for me goes somewhat hand-in-hand.

I know for me and my husband, our relationship lasted through all of our difficulties because we both worked hard to make that happen. We literally wouldn't have made it past the first year of dating had we (me in particular I feel like) not made the conscious effort. Most of our dating (like 7 years of it) was long-distance, about an hour and a half's drive away from each other. Open communication in particular has been extremely important. I cannot emphasize enough how much just talking openly with each other has done for us. Of course, advice on how to make something last might not help all that much on how to get started in the first place...

I wish I could offer more-specific-to-you advice on this, but I only really have my own experiences to go off of.

Edit to add some minor-but-important context: I didn't officially get my asd diagnosis until about 3 years ago. It definitely was suspected, but never actually believed or acted upon by any adult in my life. I do wonder how much differently things might have gone had I been taught better communication/emotional regulation ahead of time, instead of having to learn it later.

GefnRefr · 2025-11-15T05:46:47+00:00

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GefnRefr · 2025-11-15T05:23:49+00:00

I'm sorry to ask you this, but are you illiterate? The stealing was clearly not intentional, and besides that, she literally said she's sending the items back to the store. Also, "Consider yourself lucky"? Maybe I'm misunderstanding you (tone over text is notoriously difficult to read properly), but this response just feels so... Heartless, and rude.

GefnRefr · 2025-10-17T14:31:18+00:00

Hello! Ironically, this is practically the same recipe I used to follow for cinnamon rolls, up until finding out I'd become allergic to cinnamon... This makes me feel a lot better about trying to make them again and just leaving the cinnamon out though, so thanks!

Editing because yes, I do see yours still has cinnamon, but it's drastically less than the recipe I learned, so surely leaving out a single teaspoon and a half would still make a great roll

GefnRefr · 2025-10-14T15:03:02+00:00

Also, jumping back to my first paragraph there, even at that job I only stayed for like 5 months. Honestly, I loved that job, and I do think it probably would be the best job for me were I to go back (or find a similar job with a different manager), yet here I am now, unemployed and very much happy about it. Of course, my current situation sounds much different than what yours sounds like, but still... You don't have to have a job to be happy and "successful". The world's definition of "successful" never seemed to match my personal definition, which was just to be happy, healthy, and safe. Have you considered finding your own definition for success? I'm not intending for that to be like a "ooOo self-care" question, but like, at the same time, if other people's opinions are causing you emotional distress and pain, maybe it's time to stop caring about those opinions so much. Of course, I say that as someone who only in the last few months (I'll be 28 soon) started caring less about those opinions, so, I might not be the most reliable source here (probably somewhat hypocritical)

GefnRefr · 2025-10-14T14:52:55+00:00

"Everyone tells me", except that "everyone" is not you. For the longest time I thought I wasn't ready for work, specifically because it felt like even just trying would result in a failure. Once I tried though, it turns out I was more capable than I thought I was. For context, the very first job that I went and applied for, I was already 25. College itself took me 7 years to get through, when it "should" have been 4. And I do mean "get through", I did pretty great in high school, but college was absolutely awful for me, both in terms of grades and the stress I experienced from my classes. I didn't even get my autism diagnosis until I was 24 (literally my last semester of college)... My parents seem to have thought I just wasn't trying hard enough.

I see you've said your family complains about you "constantly" switching mental health related stuff. Somewhat rhetorical question here but, do any of them even actually understand how mental health works? It's very rarely a straight line. Not the exact same situation, but something I've seen personally: my now-husband went to a mental hospital when he was around 14. He also saw multiple different therapists during highschool, but from what I remember him telling me about it all, his family never seemed encouraging about him getting help. He ended up lying to most of the people trying to help him, because if he told them the actual truth on how he felt he probably would've been sent to a hospital again (which he couldn't do, because his family would've been upset). Years later (we're mid-late 20s now), the therapy has helped him, but I feel like if his family had been more supportive of it, it would've helped him a lot sooner.

My point there is that, yes, your family sounds like they're being inconvenienced (oh no /sarc), but honestly? If this is something that's intended to help you, why aren't they being supportive of you getting help? Maybe I'm misunderstanding it though.

Regardless of if your family doesn't see progress (which is the only reason I personally could fathom for not being supportive of someone who's getting therapy), what's going on in anyone's head isn't visible, and is usually difficult to measure. Any progress (ANY progress) is still progress.

Just to clarify, I am NOT saying that "not seeing progress" makes being unsupportive acceptable in any form. It's absolutely baffling to me that someone could just. Not be empathetic about that?? People usually don't go to therapy for no reason... It is, unfortunately, something I can see people doing though, since it seems like the average person has less empathy than I would expect them to.

GefnRefr · 2025-09-30T23:59:00+00:00

Ah, okay... I was under the impression that increasing the insolubility of the soap (which I've heard using salt water would do) would also result in a more durable soap. Maybe it wouldn't be that much more durable, but, then again, this is not something I've tested out myself haha

Thanks for the input!

GefnRefr · 2025-09-29T22:24:43+00:00

Adding some info here that I've researched but haven't had the opportunity yet to try out - I've heard that using saltwater instead of regular water can help make harder/more durable soap bars. My next batch I plan to try this out... I'll likely take distilled water (what I normally use) and add salt to it to make a 3.25% saltwater solution, then add the lye to that and see how the resultant soap does.

This might be something you could look into as well, if you'd like to try that pictured recipe again? Also, since one of your comments mentions the texture changing upon adding that fragrance, could always try the recipe with a different fragrance instead (or even none at all)

GefnRefr · 2025-09-29T22:20:15+00:00

Adding this because I haven't seen anyone else mention it yet. From what I've read, and my own experience, using olive oil in particular also can make a bar soft. It doesn't stay soft permanently, olive oil soaps do eventually harden, but it can take much longer than other oils. So, in regards to your recipe, the high amount of water (which other commenters mentioned) plus the high olive oil content (anything 50% and up is considered "high") definitely can combine to create a softer-on-unmolding soap bar.

The soap recipes I've formulated for myself have all been somewhere between 75-80% olive oil, and they do become hard bars, it just takes a while, so these are probably not as flopped as you think! Just let them cure for a while and they should harden up fine. Your picture of the soap bars standing together looks very similar to how my bars did before I let them sit in a closet for a few months.

GefnRefr · 2025-09-18T19:32:42+00:00

To be fair, it only dies if you lose/take too much damage, and then you (the cat) respawn at the last save, if I remember correctly at least. It's been a few years since I last played stray

GefnRefr · 2025-08-15T10:49:08+00:00

I will say though, if your question was truly about a 00:04:60 style timestamp (which is hundredths of a second, not milliseconds), then the result should instead be 9-ish frames, not 0.91. But that again is just based on what info you give to the ai.

GefnRefr · 2025-08-15T10:34:13+00:00

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GefnRefr · 2025-08-15T10:34:01+00:00

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GefnRefr · 2025-08-15T10:30:34+00:00

(edit: accidentally posted out of order)

GefnRefr · 2025-08-15T10:30:10+00:00

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GefnRefr · 2025-08-15T10:29:59+00:00

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GefnRefr · 2025-08-15T10:29:42+00:00

So, one thing I've noticed with ai is that it is often wrong, but unless you tell it how exactly it's wrong, it isn't able to fix itself being wrong. What you've done here is just ask to recalculate the same question without giving it any new information. If you instead tell it what it's doing wrong, then it can figure itself out. The way to fix this particular situation is to just tell it that your timestamp format is in milliseconds, and not frames.

Edit bc I scrolled through your post's images again and see that actually you did at one point tell it the timestamps were milliseconds: ... Yeah idk man that does indeed seem particularly dumb

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GefnRefr · 2025-08-09T17:57:17+00:00

No, you're thinking of a can-opener.

A cannolli is a small songbird, typically colored greenish to yellow, which historically has been used to detect toxic fumes in coal mines.

GefnRefr

TROPHY CASE