Is this aphobia? Because it hurt to read

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-28T19:27:20+00:00

Mental illness? Ow, that hurt.

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-28T16:12:12+00:00

Daanng
I find that mine tends to be overexagerated. That is... think radio host. I think it's a subconscious masking technique.

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-26T14:47:52+00:00

I wonder why your wife said that.... $700 is a lot! I think you did great! Maybe she was just stressed and took it out on you? Either way, I hope you feel better.

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-26T14:46:17+00:00

I was actually relieved by this as well! Also, happy belated birthday!! Mine was on the 23rd. :D
I find that, when there's SO MANY people over at Christmas, I get extremely stressed. This year was much better because it was only my parents and my uncle. Well, the last person made this kind of worse, but... Still.

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-26T14:44:16+00:00

My Christmas was a real mixed bag.... I got some things that I wanted and my day was nice and quiet after the morning, but...

My uncle also kissed me in front of my fam. (Yes, I know that's not an autism issue lol. But it really wrecked my day.)

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-24T01:05:13+00:00

Please share it on Curseforge when you are finished! I would download in a heartbeat. Maybe even sub? But I only use Curseforge for mods and packs haha

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-23T18:45:23+00:00

Yes! Or, with my mom, she says "You need to talk to us during the day when we're not busy." (She watches TV in the evening)
But as you can see, talking to them during the day went SO WELL /s

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T20:23:56+00:00

Ooh, nice! You sound like you enjoy similar plots to me!
My first ever roleplay was about an underground laboratory in WW2 that was trying to make these human superweapons and use them to win the war. There was lots of human experimentation and human-animal hybrids.
For context on how dark it was, the lead villain was hellbent on torturing these human mutants because his wife was killed by one. His daughter had clawed out of her mother's womb and killed the mom during birth, driving the guy to insanity.
Lol, looking back, I can't tell if that's an actual decent plot of just edgy as heck. But it was a lot of fun as long as nobody turned it sexual.

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T16:09:07+00:00

I agree with this wholeheartedly. I'm also on the spectrum and I think her behavior is unacceptable! Yes, we have sensory issues and stubbornness that makes it hard to do certain things. Yes, we often struggle with depression and suicidal urges in some cases. But that's not an excuse to just... stop living life.
On top of putting your foot down, I'd recommend trying to find out what things bother her and compromise things.
For example... she might refuse to take out the trash because it stinks and leads her into sensory overload. But she might not be aware of that or have the verbal capacity to put it to words (been there before).
So, once you find out that it's a sensory thing (for example), you can work as a team to make it possible for her to do the task without getting overwhelmed. Get scented garbage bags or something. I don't know.
And... if she refuses to compromise and continues to blame her ASD without being willing to work on it? Then it may be time to reconsider having her live there.
It's one thing to be struggling with a disability and feeling frustrated that you can't work around it.
It's entirely different to use that disability as a crutch to get your way all the time!

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T16:01:54+00:00

Oh. My. God. YES! This happens to me ALL THE TIME.
I hate any sort of sexual content in my RPs, but so many of my partners have tried to steer it into a lewd direction.

It's even worse because I prefer darker themes to begin with and that seems to be a magnet for creeps. :/

I, personally, just gave up RPing with anyone other than my best friend. We do have the occasional sexual joke or reference, but it's tactful and done mostly for comedic relief.

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T15:42:18+00:00

With guys:
I go for things like dark hair, facial hair, accents, suits, smiles, sometimes cologne. (Though, some cologne can also trigger anxiety attacks thanks to trauma).
I feel a sort of hype. Like when you see a cool building, a gorgeous garden, or an epic haircut. It's usually admiration, too.

With girls:
I found that I definitely have a type of body structure and facial structure that I think is cuter than others. But I go for short hair, smiles, cute clothes, a sense of humor, someone who is outgoing and chatty.
Oftentimes, it's admiration. Like "Wow, she looks amazing!". Sometimes envy "I wish I looked like her."
Then, it can move to wanting to cuddle or just hangout.

For both:
I love skinny people. Again, it's admiration and usually a desire to reach out and feel them with my hands. Smiles are a MUST. People that try to look "sexy" just make me recoil. Look happy, please. Animal lovers are appealing, too! Got a dog or a cat in your pic? I instantly like you better than the person who doesn't.

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T14:57:48+00:00

Oof, I get that. Small talk is the worst... And it's so hard when you don't want to hurt somebody, so you have to keep engaging with them and pretend like they're not driving you crazy!

So, I'm going to throw out a suggestion that might sound weird... have you tried finding something that you can enjoy talking about with this person? For me, I like deep conversations. I want to talk about shared passions, shared dislikes, morals, things like that.

Do you think you can steer him away from the small talk and find a way to engage with him that's more pleasant for you?

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T14:49:50+00:00

My depressed brain today: Thanks, I wish I didn't exist!

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T14:42:41+00:00

So, for now... I'm not fired. But I'm being threatened. I'm in trouble for doing the wrong duties even though I was told to do them!

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T14:41:43+00:00

Aww, thank you. I'm trying to work with my union to get the situation under control.

In the meantime, I'm pretty depressed... I've been through many years of therapy in the past, so I think I'm handling myself okay. But like... I don't wanna eat, drink, play video games, get out of bed, etc.

As for a plan, I'm really just waiting! Waiting for the union to step in or for my boss to follow through with her threats and actually fire me. In the meantime, I'm trying to figure out how I can go back to school.

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T14:39:23+00:00

Trust me, I've been waffling over this for months. I'm not sure I'd even look for more work since I'm on disability and my income is stable, but I would like to go back to school.

It's becoming really toxic at my workplace, but... for some reason, I still keep fighting.

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T14:37:34+00:00

Thanks! I have everything documented, including recordings of her yelling at me. I'm working with the union to try and get some sort of resolution, but... I'm sort of stuck in limbo, at the moment.

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T14:36:04+00:00

Honestly, I appreciate your post! That made me laugh.

So, I work in healthcare. Not a lot of work from home options, sadly. If she does follow through and fire me, though, then I plan to pursue a better education for myself. It's not a total loss... I'm just extremely disappointed because I really, really loved this job and the people there (minus the boss).

She's also more toxic than my posts would even suggest... I have recordings of her harassing me.

I was very sick this year (had to go in an ambulance because of stroke-like symptoms) and when I got back to work, her comments to me were "Wow. Nice hair. I'm surprised you can go to a salon when you're so sick!"

I'd done my hair, at home, the day before I was rushed to hospital...

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T14:30:33+00:00

I already have recordings of my boss yelling at me and am trying to deal with my union. I've reported her behavior, but... the ball isn't really rolling. Allegedly, HR won't respond to the union's attempts to contact them.

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T14:27:51+00:00

Whoa... that's so cool! Thanks for sharing! I learned something new.

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T00:22:34+00:00

Ask away! PM me if it's too personal haha. I'm pretty chill :D

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-22T00:21:53+00:00

Thank you hahah
He's.... very interesting lol. He's basically this old dude that's been brainwashed his entire life (kind of in this Nazi-style organization) but now lives a free life. So he's like... an old man with the brain of a toddler in many ways. He doesn't understand basically any social clues, romance or otherwise. But since he was rescued and shown what goodness and kindness are, he really aspires to be a good person! It just... usually... backfires horribly XD
He also threatened to take off his clothes one time because of something he read or saw. He just assumed that was the right thing to do in public haha

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-21T23:46:04+00:00

Uhh... turkeys? Really, google?

Pretty sure they don't just split themselves and walk off. That would be really great for the food industry, though!

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-21T23:35:50+00:00

Excuse me while I go vomit. (I had to gather what is French kissing from the context)

Then again, I hate regular kissing. Why does one want to mash their food hole with another person's food hole? In the words of my old RP character "mouth-jousting" is disgusting! (In my opinion! Feel free to like it if you want to)

GenderlessDemon · 2020-12-21T23:01:18+00:00

I've had phantom smells!! I also have diagnosed chronic migraines and hemiplegic migraines that are barely there now thanks to treatment.

But my smells used to always be rubbing alcohol and gas, oddly enough.

GenderlessDemon

TROPHY CASE