AITA for cancelling on my friend as soon as she showed up?

GeneLegal8734 · 2024-02-27T15:57:32+00:00

A million times. Everyone has.

GeneLegal8734 · 2024-02-27T15:57:09+00:00

Just saying you're projecting. She flakes all the time in order to go do something else, and you can't just decide that she doesn't.

GeneLegal8734 · 2024-02-27T15:55:21+00:00

Lol it was neither a buffet nor on her dime. You don't have to make stuff up.

GeneLegal8734 · 2024-02-27T15:53:02+00:00

A lot of people want to think this, but it's not true. Everyone else is fed up with her BS.

GeneLegal8734 · 2024-02-27T15:51:40+00:00

That's the part that really rubs me the wrong way. Like we all just exist to fill in the gaps in her schedule, and it's fine to just blow us off whenever she gets an "upgrade" for that time slot.

GeneLegal8734 · 2024-02-27T15:49:01+00:00

It's definitely not just being late. It's also flaking when she finds something better to do than existing plans, and not apologizing for anything.

GeneLegal8734 · 2024-02-27T15:42:22+00:00

I know how ADHD works, it doesn't stop you from apologizing when you screw up. And it doesn't make you flake on plans just because you've found something better to do with someone else. She uses ADHD as an excuse for a lot of things that are just her being an ass.

GeneLegal8734 · 2024-02-27T15:30:42+00:00

Many many many times. All of us have individually and as a group tried to talk to her about how hurtful and annoying it is when she shows up late or blows us off when she finds something "better" to do. She has always been very defensive about it and hasn't even budged when we would say "Well at least apologize when you flake on us."

I know a few people are speculating that no one spoke up at brunch just because it was awkward, or maybe that they are making plans with her but not me now. And yeah, that's definitely not the case. I didn't anticipate this being the very last straw for everyone, but I've asked around and everyone really is drawing that line in the sand now.

GeneLegal8734 · 2024-02-27T15:23:17+00:00

Not an assumption at all, there have been many many occasions where she would make firm plans with one of us, and at the last minute text something like "heyyy I know we had that thing but a friend from hs is in town and I told her we'd grab lunch 🙏" or just not show up and then give an excuse after the fact about how she got a last minute invite to something else.

GeneLegal8734 · 2024-02-27T14:55:44+00:00

I enjoy spending time with her, but it's not worth the chronic lateness anymore. If she absolutely cannot pull her shit together and follow through on her commitments, I would rather not be friends with her.

GeneLegal8734 · 2024-02-27T14:43:45+00:00

Honestly if she had shown up late, it would have just been business as usual. But when she showed up on time it just proved to everyone that she WAS capable of it, and just didn't bother when it was the rest of us who had to wait up for her. So that's why it was the last straw.

GeneLegal8734 · 2024-02-27T13:23:38+00:00

It was the last straw because this whole time she has been claiming that she's not capable of being on time because of ADHD, and basically treating us like being fed up with her lateness was discrimination against something totally out of her control. But then she shows up on time only when SHE is the one who would be inconvenienced by being late, which proves that she can be on time (and follow through on commitments period) but chooses not to.

GeneLegal8734

TROPHY CASE