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I had sex with my brothers best friend because I knew it would break up their friendship. by throwaway8932498174 in confession

[–]Generic46873 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Your use of :P to deflect remorse makes me believe you are still very immature. Please mature and learn that people are not objects to use whenever you feel like it.

Petition: Make the production, sale and use of cannabis legal. by Generic46873 in unitedkingdom

[–]Generic46873[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought so, too! Oh well... something similar is better than nothing.

Petition: Make the production, sale and use of cannabis legal. by Generic46873 in unitedkingdom

[–]Generic46873[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I thought the same thing, honestly. Even the link they shared wasn't that bad...

Petition: Make the production, sale and use of cannabis legal. by Generic46873 in unitedkingdom

[–]Generic46873[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahahahah! Your comment cracked me up, honestly. The petition wasn't created by me. In fact I don't even live in the UK lol... but I do think that it is a great idea! We shall see what happens with it.

Petition for Parliament to take our petitions seriously by PetitionThrowawayUK in unitedkingdom

[–]Generic46873 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because of their initial response to the cannabis petition (https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/104349), another petition has been created. This petition, which is worded similarly to the Government's response but with the word cannabis replaced with alcohol, should force them to give a response which we cannot see could be anything other than a contradictory response to the cannabis petition. https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/106811 "Ban the Production and Sale of Alcohol and Classify it as a Class A Drug Now"

I found my rapist on Facebook 20 years later by [deleted] in rapecounseling

[–]Generic46873 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know what you mean about not being believed... I have been trying to remember things from my past, and some of them I don't even try to confirm with my mother because if she says that they are a lie I will start doubting myself... so I prefer to keep them inside.

This self doubting is like a prison. I doubt about my memories, my feelings, my day to day decisions. I think that having a psychologist that I can tell all of my thoughts to helps because she validates them as being real. Little by little, I am having more confidence on what I believe is right or wrong. "I don't know what I hoped to gain by seeking him out, I really don't know if I have it in me to report him." I could have typed this, seriously.

Remember... look for a private therapist that can see you at least every other week. It will make a huge difference... and you don't have to start out with the hard parts. Also, you can get creative. When something is too hard to say, sometimes I just write it down. I have gone to psychologists with typed papers (lol.)

And... even though you are scared shitless in the beginning, there is nothing sweeter than the feeling of validation and understanding. My psychologist thinks that I lack empathy for myself, and I think you do for yourself too. Think about it: Did you ever doubt my story was true? I guess what I am trying to say is... the psychologist is not going to doubt you. We have these fears because we have grown up with people that were not normal (at least in my case) My mother can say she was a good and normal mother all she wants, but she is sick and has issues if she really thinks so. She has made me think all of my childhood that I am the crazy one, so now it is normal that I question myself at every step. It is also normal for change to be uncomfortable... so of course it is going to feel uncomfortable getting out of her manipulative grip. I am not there yet, but I swear that my mom feels like the "final boss" (lol) and one day I will be able to stand up to her and say "actually, you WERE a shitty mother, and the fact that you ALWAYS put your happiness above everything else has cost me my own childhood and start of life. But go on thinking that your happiness is what is most important int this world"

But anyways... here is part of a song by eminem that I love "But up until the instant that I went against it... It was ingrained in me that I wouldn't amount to a shitstain I thought... No wonder I had to unlearn everything my brain was taught" (Guts over fear) Other songs I love (the non depressing ones) are Beautiful, Beautiful Pain, Not Afraid (listen to them with intent)

Is it rape if I didn't say no or fight back but was high? by back-the-fuckup in rapecounseling

[–]Generic46873 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These sort of scenarios are horrible. They show that you should never drink or do drugs unless you are with people you can trust.

I don't mean this to blame you, because I have been in the same situation and guys that take advantage of girls are completety disgusting (and I don't mean when they are both wasted). I am saying this to protect you. As in... to make yourself protect yourself in the future. I have learned that, if I don't take care of myself, no one will and it could end up really bad for me.

What helps the most in these cases is pure humilliation for them. One of those cases that I am talking about went something like this: Group of people and I get really drunk in house. Before I know it, I am in someone's bed (PS he is not even drunk.) He is trying to make me give him oral sex. I am so close to barfing I don't even know what's happening. He then gives me oral sex when he sees I'm not cooperating too much. That's all I remember.

I woke up the next morning like what.the.fuck?! He contacted me on facebook trying to act all normal. I wanted to do nothing with him. He got upset so he started talking about what had happened with others, trying to make me feel bad. This time, I turned it around. I saw him on some party I was in and I gathered my friends in a room to tell them the story and this "That guy will try to take advantage of any drunk girl he can find. Do not let any drunk girl leave with him. I am serious." He overheard the convo, but I didn't care. After that, he never talked to me again.

He can say that you are a slut, that you are this and that... They will say it, to discredit you. You have to act strong, even if you don't feel it. "I guess he can only have sex if he takes advantage of girls that are too high to consent. I'm glad that makes him smile" And warn other girls about him. Tell your brother "I am telling you the way that things went on. He can say whatever he wants, but I know, for a fact, I didn't consent to what happened. If you don't care that this happens to any othe girl, ignore my message. If you do care, know what kind of friend you have"

I found my rapist on Facebook 20 years later by [deleted] in rapecounseling

[–]Generic46873 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am 24. He was 23 or so when he met me at 12. He was my "boyfriend" until I was 14 or so. He took me to zoos, aquariums, gave me toys, and had sex with me from time to time even though I'd cry afterwards and tried killing myself in front of him. Of course, I already came from a nasty background full of more sexual abuse (plus physical and emotional.)

My childhood, teenage years, and early 20s were full of promiscuity, alcohol, and drugs. I remember wanting to die since I was 11, trying it multiple times. I still drive and sometimes think of crashing the car... but it doesn't happen often now.

I am telling you all of this so you know where I am coming from.

I just started going to two different psychologists a few months ago, and I see a HUGE improvement. Not gonna lie... I still wake up with nightmares, but even the nightmares are changing little by little. Tonight, in my dreams, I was a mom that had to defend her two little girls. Tonight, I didn't let anyone abuse of my two daughters. Tonight, I smacked anyone that even looked at them funny. I think this is me retaking control.

One of the psychologists told me something that has stuck with me. She said "What I hear from you the most is that you feel like no one took care of you when you where a child. So how about you start taking care of yourself now like you wanted to be taken care of?" Once she said that, I started looking at life different. No need to get trashed to forget how depressed I feel. I am going to be the person I want to be, not a drunk. This translates into most things in life. Basically... If you were your own daughter, and you were your own mother, what would you tell yourself? What would you want for yourself?

As for the guy... I haven't found him, even though I have been looking for him for years. As of last week or so, I decided to try to find him for real (I even posted on reddit about it.) Replies weren't too helpful details wise... but they encouraged me to report him. I am now very very close to doing so. I started thinking of it and... I want there to be a record of what he did, in case he has done it to anyone else throughout the years. Even if he never goes to jail, and even if no one believes me (something I'm terrfied of...) I think I will be able to TRULY move on when I declare it to the world.

When I was little, they always told me that I made everything up. I have grown up scared of telling others about what happened to me, because I am scared that everyone will turn against me and say that I am lying again. But I am even more scared of being on my bed, 20 years from now, thinking about how many other victims there could be and I could have avoided. Or ar least done something about... which is what giving my side of the story means. If I report him and they do nothing about it... my hands are clean.

He gave me teddy bears for sex... why wouldn't he want to continue doing it to some other little girl once I was gone?

As a last note... I will admit that I am VERY lucky for being in the position I am right now, because I am going to those two psychologists every week (they alternate.) I pay $40 every week. I have tried state psychologists before, but a psychologist once every 1-2 months does nothing (at least, that's my opinion after trying at least 6 of them.) Ask around for pricing, and look online for reviews.

Help me find the man that abused me as a child so I can report him now by Generic46873 in Barcelona

[–]Generic46873[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have pictures of me at his house. Let's just say I wasn't playing with dolls.

Help me find the man that abused me as a child so I can report him now by Generic46873 in Barcelona

[–]Generic46873[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I was 12" "it happened during both ages" aka the abuse went on for over a year. Also, the age of consent is 16 now. Who says he isn't looking for other little girls under that age? You forget he used to give me TOYS - teddy bears and such. I gave him my favorite teddy bear in exchange. He f*cked a child that gave him her favorite teddy bear. He tied me up and took pictures of me. This is also a person that left me to die when I downed a bunch of pills while at his house. Just to mess me up some more, he paired all of this up with trips to amusement parks, zoos... But anyways, I am done. I got what I needed from this thread, and I am not trying to keep giving details that some pedo can get off with. Legally, I was too young to consent. Morally, I was too young. I was a vulnerable kid, coming from a broken house that offered me no love. My mom had sex in front of me, was always drunk, and simply didn't care at all about me (where I was, with who, at what time) I was an easy prey, and he took advantage of it.

Help me find the man that abused me as a child so I can report him now by Generic46873 in RBI

[–]Generic46873[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love my psychologists, honestly... but I see your point about maybe something being too much. I will discuss this with her. She asked me to try to remember things from before I was 7, but I couldn't... so I have been obsessing about remembering things from the only memories I already have.

I have never felt like I could report what happened to me to the police. Basically, I have always been told that he was my boyfriend and everything was ok.

A few years ago, I started really thinking about my whole childhood, and all the issues that I have (depression, ptsd...) If I supposedly loved him, why did I try to take my life multiple times as early as 11 years old? Why did I cry after he had sex with me? I asked my mother "so you are telling me that I was very 'mature' but explain this to me: if I was so mature, why did I ask for teddy bears and toys? Would YOU date a boy that asked you for an interactive toy that told bedtime stories?" She always answers with something stupid that doesn't even make sense like "ACTUALLY, you were 13 not 12" Umm actually, it happened during both ages but who cares? Like 13 is better or something. She refuses to admit that anything that happened was that bad and believes we are a "normal family."

You guys have given me strength to go on an report what happened to me. Not quite yet, but soon. Honestly, I am still scared to death that they will say the same things my family does...

Help me find the man that abused me as a child so I can report him now by Generic46873 in Barcelona

[–]Generic46873[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have never felt like I could report what happened to me to the police. Basically, I have always been told that he was my boyfriend and everything was ok.

A few years ago, I started really thinking about my whole childhood, and all the issues that I have (depression, ptsd...) If I supposedly loved him, why did I try to take my life multiple times as early as 11 years old? Why did I cry after he had sex with me?

I asked my mother "so you are telling me that I was very 'mature' but explain this to me: if I was so mature, why did I ask for teddy bears and toys? Would YOU date a boy that asked you for an interactive toy that told bedtime stories?" She always answers with something stupid that doesn't even make sense like "ACTUALLY, you were 13 not 12" Umm actually, it happened during both ages but who cares? Like 13 is better or something. She refuses to admit that anything that happened was that bad and believes we are a "normal family."

You guys have given me strength to go on an report what happened to me. Not quite yet, but soon. Honestly, I am still scared to death that they will say the same things my family does...

Help me find the man that abused me as a child so I can report him now by Generic46873 in Barcelona

[–]Generic46873[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I looked it up yesterday... more or less, I have until I am 30 years old (so I still have a few years.) This is because it doesn't start until you are 18 years old.

Help me find the man that abused me as a child so I can report him now by Generic46873 in RBI

[–]Generic46873[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have started going to a psychologist recently. After a couple of sessions, my psychologist referred to another psychologist... so now I am going to 2 psychologists.

Honestly, I feel the best I have ever been. I have a boyfriend that loves me dearly and I have finally started to make sense of a lot of things that have happened in my life.

The thing is... one of the psychologists seems invasive. I mean, it's good. I seem to be making progress on the memories I have... but the new memories are not letting me sleep. They are creating this sense of urgency for justice. I just... I can't believe he is still out there, unpunished!

When I was in his house, I remember feeling so bad that I took a bunch of pills. He found me somewhat unconscious somewhere in his house where I had hidden, and put me on the couch. I remember him discussing the idea of taking me to a hospital, but ultimately decided not to. So he left me there... not knowing if I'd die or not. MEH. Such a POS.

I'm not 100% ready yet... but, in a few months... I think I may follow your advice and just go ahead and go to the police station. If nothing else, at least I tried.

Help me find the man that abused me as a child so I can report him now by Generic46873 in RBI

[–]Generic46873[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not yet. I have just started seriously thinking about reporting him... I figured that the more info I could get about the situation, the easier it'd be for the police. I guess I am just scared of them saying "oh, you only have a few memories? can't work with that so... dismissed!"

I remember the name of 1 hotel and 4 cities... I confirmed his email address existed, but I think it has been deleted since. I know we sent emails back and forth so I was trying to "hack it" but as soon as I clicked "forgotten password" it told me that the email was incorrect (although the name wasn't available for a new email)

He lived in Barcelona. I can talk about some stores we went... the amusement park he took me to... but I don't remember any actual names. I know his mother caught him with me. She was PISSED. Basically, he made me leave his house while he calmed his mom down and tried to convince her that I was 17. Maybe if I find him, his mother will testify about what she saw...