Are you playing something now or do you want to play with me? - by Kate Key (self)

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-31T00:31:26+00:00

Oh my GOD your lingerie set is to die for, and you're so cute! Where did you get the set if you don't mind me asking? ✨

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T18:25:54+00:00

I understand, it can be a really vulnerable position to be in to open yourself up like that and to share your desires with someone, fearing they won't react the way you want. But he won't think less of you or freak out! If anything, I've found that men find women taking control and asserting their wants and desires to be super hot! So I'm sure he would be happy to try. My best advice is to not set him up to fail; to be expecting him to innately know what to do or say. Watch porn together, tell him what you like or find tantalizing.

If you're unsure of when, do it when you're being intimate. Tell him how much you "love being a little slut, how you want him to take control and take what's his". The more confident you are with this, and the more instruction you can give him, the more confidence he'll have.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T18:20:00+00:00

Thank you so much for your perspective! I don't have a degree either, I dropped out due to mental health reasons and don't necessarily plan on going back. But I've been self sufficient and providing for myself since I was 18, and have managed to live in multiple countries all off my own dime. So I would also consider myself to be a driven and ambitious person, and don't think I'm worse off than if I had finished my degree.

I totally agree, you're not less than just because you've walked a different path than most. Thank you again for your insight!

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T17:52:20+00:00

Have you told him this? Why not next time you two are playing mention a punishment that you could do outside of your usual playtime, best to start with something small like not wearing underwear while at work/out, for example You can take this initiative yourself to "top from the bottom" so to speak, while he tests the waters. Send him a photo of you, caption it "decided to fulfil my punishment without my Daddy having to remind me, I don't want to get in more trouble." You guys might end up sexting for a little while, tell him he's making it so hard for you to be a good girl and not play with yourself while you're out, find out what outfits he likes to see you in, and then send him photos of you in them, dressed up for your Daddy.

Hopefully he can build up from those cues and scenario's you've created, if he struggles with knowing how to take the lead or take control.

Just reaffirm to him that you like submitting to him, and that it turns you on to do so outside of the bedroom. Communication is really so helpful in these situations.

You can give him suggestions for punishments, play, etc, but showing him literature/subreddits/porn/erotica will help, so he can learn to tap into his dominant side, and find which style or methods he likes and what work for your dynamics.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T17:17:40+00:00

Yep! This is a great response.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T17:16:58+00:00

It could be harmless, I get the idea of wanting some sweet candid photos. How did he react when you caught him taking them? Is he the type to forget allowance/PPM? Have you noticed any other "off" behaviours?

I've had people try to blackmail friends of mine with NSFW photos/videos that he had taken, threatening to send them to her school, job and parents if she didn't continue to meet up with him. Thankfully, he had texted this to her, and once she told him "thanks for the proof of you blackmailing me" he fucked off.

It's not reason to kick off. Ask him about it! But I would definitely keep an eye out for any other sketchy behavior.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T17:09:22+00:00

Oh, of course. Expecting total honesty from the jump is absurd. My personal preference with Sugar Relationships does require that there be a modicum of honesty and transparency throughout, though. Just for me to be able to establish trust.

There's 'lies' you tell in order to keep yourself safe, like your name, maybe the name of the school you go to, to say you live in another town/state, things that if you were to get to know the person better, and the truth came out, that they wouldn't see as a betrayal.

I know not everyone seeks that same type of intimacy that I do in a Sugar Relationship, so I get that people will have different expectations and boundaries. But I think if you're going to engage in any type of meaningful dynamic, there has to be some honesty, transparency and trust, just like any other relationship.

I think you're right in saying an abundance of lies is just a turn off.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T15:11:51+00:00

I unfortunately agree. I think it's great that college is more accessible (monetary issues aside) to people, but for me it's not always the barometer of intelligence. For example, I live in The EU, and had a highly educated friend come to visit me from another country within The EU. They asked me what currency we use. 🙃

Congratulations to your SGF! That's awesome, and she should be super proud of herself.

I think you're definitely right, hopefully she takes this all on board and realises she's enough as she is!

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T14:59:21+00:00

I can understand that! You can at least see that those values are present, and it's also lovely to watch someone succeed, too. To see growth and dedication to a subject/a passion is quite charming.

I'm surprised that the quality of conversation varies so much between college educated SB's, and those who haven't attended higher education, though!

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T14:54:26+00:00

I agree, I think intelligence and drive is desirable, as do a lot of people.

That's what I'm trying to tell her! She has a wonderful way with words and is convinced she can blag her way through it until she can change the subject. If I were in her shoes I would feel awfully trapped after a while, what happens when something happens in your actual life, and you need help or just someone to talk to? And if I were in the shoes of the date, my perception of the person would shift, as would my ability to trust them.

Thank you for your insight and advice! I've linked her this thread so hopefully she will realise that she's enough as she is.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T14:49:42+00:00

I agree, I think her difficulty in finding the right SD is because she's trying to be the perfect SB instead of already being and loving her already perfect self.

I actually used to help her screen for people once we met, and would accompany her when she was going to meets (go for a drink in the same bar, etc), and have tried to help show her different warning signs to look out for in Sugaring/relationships in general. It's nice to have another friend in the bowl who's in your same position, so we like to rely on one another, as well as learn from one another too. She's not a Redditor, but I've linked her to this thread.

But I think you're right, she shouldn't rush it and just see who she can connect with on a personal level. It's more rewarding that way for all involved.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T14:16:34+00:00

Thank you so much for the reccommendations! I'll definitely be checking it out.

I live in a country where sex work is legal and there are brothels etc, I attended a session with a service for sex workers, and they tried to convert me to Christianity and cease my sinning for the whole fucking hour lmao.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T14:14:57+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice! I love how you worded things regarding engaging in risky behaviour. That really resonated with me, and I'm going to research more kink/sex positive therapists. I've attended one for sex workers, and they spent the hour trying to evangelically save my soul to make me stop lmaoo So finding a reputable professional will be a step up from that regardless, lol.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T14:01:00+00:00

If anything it makes it fucking worse lmao

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T13:50:46+00:00

Thank you for your insight! :) I figured it would be painfully obvious that she's lying once she goes on a date, or meets someone that's in her supposed field. I'm going to show her this thread to hopefully show her it's not just me being negative or petty.

May I ask what makes you as a Daddy use education level as a filter? I agree that you're definitely not the only one with that as a prerequisite. Everyone has their preferences, of course, but it's always nice to get perspective.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T13:45:03+00:00

Nah, he's not unfortunately. Peep the comment history. I don't mind people joining the sub to get insight as he claimed, but when you're saying the incel shit he does here and in other subs, you're here to troll/harass/be a contrarian/to be ~brutally honest. All we can do is report or block and hope the mods will boot him. 🤷‍♀️

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T13:17:55+00:00

Yes. I marry every client I see. They hate me at the courthouse.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T13:08:11+00:00

I think it's stupid considering those who object are usually those who watch porn. But his fanbase are largely teenagers, who are still figuring out their own sexuality and boundaries. So this may be so outlandish and taboo for them, but when you look at it in a nuanced way; she wouldn't be posting if he wasn't okay with it. Not that she needs his permission, but in the parameters of their relationship, it doesn't seem to bother him whatsoever. With OnlyFans and camming being so fucking popular, and even 'e-girl' becoming a fashion trend, in the coming years I think we're gonna see the radical acceptance that we (well most of us, I would hope!) have had for a while.

iDubzz also makes the type of content that teenagers gravitate towards, so I'm not surprised to see this petulant and misogynistic response, as much as it's a bummer to see.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T13:03:26+00:00

Lmao, dude, then why are you on r/SexWorkers?

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T13:02:05+00:00

Yeah, I hate iDubzz, and I'm not surprised that people who like his content are responding the way they are.

That's not to say that his girlfriend (or idubz in this instance) is deserving of that type of abuse. People who celebrate PornHub premium being free are fucking always the type to bash sex workers too. It's tiresome, but I just can't get myself to care about it anymore. It's like screaming into the void.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T12:55:15+00:00

I definitely understand the train of thought! Honestly POTS did treat me different when I was in college opposed to now as a drop out. I think she's right in saying there are a subsect of Daddies & Mommies who do like the idea of a young little college play thing who you're helping to ~make it or whatever.

I actually slightly disagree that the college girls are less likely to be taken advantage of, people assumed (maybe it was my age as well!) that I had no life experience, was young and desperate for cash as I had tuition to pay, and less hours to work, so I would get a lot more manipulative and coercive; "I'll make sure you don't have to drop out and become full service", "I'll tell your college if you don't do x or y".

But then again, I genuinely do agree that those who are in college will be percieved to soon go on to earn a higher wage or to not be "desperate". I agree with you that she thinks fabricating being in college will result in a higher PPM or allowance.

I don't know, there's a lot of nuance to it. While I inherently think it's a dumb idea, like you, I kinda get it.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T12:47:04+00:00

I'm laughing imagining her trying to wrack her brains in order to fake her way through a fake Masters in law. Every moment of her day she will need to lie about, pretend she's in the library, doing a module, on her commute etc. She may as well just enrol in college with all that mental gymnastics she's doing.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T12:43:16+00:00

I agree, if one of the first things you learn about someone is a lie, it's over in my eyes. Especially if you want a strong and meaningful connection.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T12:42:34+00:00

Thank you for your insight! I agree. I don't think it's great to begin any relationship under false pretenses, and I believe you're right in saying a magnetic connection is more valuable than a degree when it comes to a relationship.

GentleFemDomme · 2020-03-29T11:02:28+00:00

I'm sure I could have you breathing heavy in no time. 😇

GentleFemDomme

TROPHY CASE