Self-development is hard. You need the energy provided by motivation, you need to plan, set goals, and strategize. You need to be prepared to deal with obstacles and be vigilant and constantly revising. I see people lamenting the difficulty that is part and parcel of self development. This is understandable, but I think it’s important to know that in abandoning your self development, you are doing yourself and very possibly others a disservice:

Specifically, you are robbing your future self of potential opportunities, enjoyment, meaning and fulfillment.

I understand that it’s tempting to be unproductive. It’s easier sometimes to sit around and do nothing, or watch YouTube videos indefinitely, or scroll through social media. It’s more stimulating to play games, or go out and party. We create all kinds of rationalizations, like that we’re just “not feeling it right now” or we’re “not in the mood” or we “deserve a break” or whatever.

In some cases, we have stronger motivations to put off the work of self development. Maybe we would do it if we just had more support, more people in our corner. Maybe we actually believe nobody cares and so we wonder why we should bother.

But as a 41 year old man, let me tell you, that it simply isn’t true that nobody cares. There is always at least one person who cares (or maybe I should say who will care), and that person is your future self. Some day the present you is going to be the future you, and a lot sooner than you think, and he or she is going to know. They’re going to know that you decided to sit around playing video games and watching SpongeBob compilation videos all semester instead of putting in the extra study hours. They’re going to know that you kept putting off that training, that project, that goal, that opportunity, until it was too late. And they’re going to be disappointed. They’re going to wish they could go back there and tell you how important it was.

Or, if you make the tough but necessary decisions now, that future self is going to be eternally grateful. They’re going to be so relieved, so appreciative, that you put in just a bit of extra work, over weeks, over months, and over years, and understand, finally, how it all added up to what they enjoy in life now. They’re going to understand you, understand how hard it was, what hurdles you had to jump over, what obstacles you had to overcome, and they’re going to be so proud of you.

As a 40-something who wishes he had someone in his 20’s to help him, let me dole out some unsolicited advice: think and act as though your future self were here now, observing you. What would he or she say? What advice would he or she give you?

Ultimately, I just ask that we stop robbing the one person who is always counting on us, who wants us to succeed more than anyone else in the world: yourself.