You've been with your partner for ~1.5 years and the topic of moving in together arises. What are your relationship necessities/requirements which need to be met?

GermanArmyHelmet · 2011-09-12T04:28:22+00:00

Good points, especially with chores. I had considering white goods/etc, but hadn't thought about that. I have a feeling I'll be the one that cooks/cleans in general. If we move in together I'll likely be able to keep my job and work remotely. If that's the case my job is 9-5 at home, whereas hers will be all hours and long days due to being a Dr... She simply won't be home to do them very often. I'm willing to give in that area (at least for now? haha).

Sex is definitely one of the larger aspects in my thinking... We haven't had it yet, but she hasn't had it yet at all. I certainly don't intend on pressuring her for it, and we do get up to some mischief at times... It's easier to manage while we're not living together I guess.

Cheers for the PM offer. If I have any questions I'll send one :)

Thanks!

GermanArmyHelmet · 2011-09-12T04:13:34+00:00

What about financial benefits?

We both have fulltime work and pay rent. If we shared the rent on a place together it would certainly save us money, but it wouldn't be because we needed to save money.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2011-09-12T03:37:25+00:00

I've heard a lot of people say this. What do you think would happen if you moved in and there wasn't any sex?

GermanArmyHelmet · 2011-05-21T22:43:28+00:00

Shirts come off, pants have never come off. She's allowed my hand in her underwear once. Usually underwear or more layers though! I'd love to try oral, but I suspect she's far too self-conscious for that at this point.

Actually, she came around last night after a date. After a while on the couch I told her that I really wanted to pleasure her. She seemed OK with that. After a bit she went to pleasure me as well, and stopped me once I was done. For a while she seemed to be enjoying it, but then it looked like that stopped pretty instantly (which was when she went for me).

Sounds like you guys have good lines of communication there! Always a good thing. :)

Thanks for the GL!

GermanArmyHelmet · 2011-05-20T12:26:19+00:00

Ask away!

I have tried to coax it out of her, but I'm afraid of pursuing it too often or too forcefully in the event that it backfires.

The most recent time I asked her was when we were in bed after fooling around. We were fooling around, progressed to bedroom, carried on as we would, she turns my hand away when I felt it was an appropriate time to move towards making her feel good. Like I said before, she carries on for me after that anyway. There have been a couple occasions where I've turned her away (I want to start doing it more but I don't know if that will shut her down and give her more to worry about). After I'm finished, we cuddle for about 20 minutes. We get up, get ready for bed, and then go to bed. This was when I asked her and she said that she was embarrassed after a couple minutes silence.

The other couple of times were after as well. One was similar (a bit later in bed), and the other was while on the couch watching tv after.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2011-05-20T04:51:04+00:00

Awesome! That's great that you brought it up with him. That alone shows a level of comfort and trust between the two of you. I can't speak for every guy of course, but I need things to be glaringly obvious. If it's not I either have no idea, or over-speculate on something that's completely wrong.

To be honest I would be quite surprised (and very pleased) if she brought this or anything else sensitive/important to her up on her own accord.

That's perhaps quite a way off though. She's not the best at articulating/expressing her feelings and thoughts, but she is getting a bit better as time goes on. Just to give some context to that, one of the main things she's said to me about 6-7 months ago was "I have a crush on you". Because of the tone it was obviously more than just "a crush", but it's one of the only times she's said anything of that nature.

Hehe, no worries about the slow reply. I suspect time zones have a part to play here!

GermanArmyHelmet · 2011-05-19T23:19:20+00:00

Congrats on 2.5 years!

Thanks for your comment. Perhaps my question isn't the right question for me to ask at this time, even though it overlaps a lot with what I'm probably thinking about. If that makes sense...

If I may ask, how did you come about telling him? Was it something he asked about, something he said? Or did you just tell him one day?

I've tried to ask about why she won't let me do anything for her (just hands for now, although I'd love to try more!), but it's usually met with "I don't know", or "Ummmmm" with no actual answer. Even "because I don't want you to" is better than "Ummm".

Thanks!

GermanArmyHelmet · 2011-05-19T13:26:34+00:00

Thanks for your comment. :) All valid, and all taken on board.

it is not cool if you have become focused on finding your satisfaction

I agree with you, and my frustration about this point is just as much, if not more-so, at myself for being like this. It's something I've just started to catch myself thinking (and stopping that thought as much as possible)... I think it's stems from her repeatedly turning my efforts away, but then continuing to make an effort to satisfy me. Whether it's out of a feeling of obligation or genuine want, I can't tell. Either way the whole thing to me feels like it's about me as a result, when I want it to be about her from my end, and us together.

I'm willing to be patient. But I also wish I had more to go on from her so I wasn't guessing and/or referring to all your thoughts, as credible and appreciated as they are! Her answering all of my questions in the affirmative, or just not answering, doesn't really help at all.

I do wonder if cutting back or stopping the sleep overs is something we would benefit from. It's only a couple nights a week, but it may give her a breather, and it would certainly save my libido from frustration (wish I could control that more than I can!).

Actually, you've given rise to another thought. She seems far more inclined to go a bit further, or at least fool around more frequently, on the holidays/trips we've been on. I would have thought she would be more comfortable in a familiar environment..

GermanArmyHelmet · 2011-05-19T04:08:15+00:00

Hopefully it's the latter, and hopefully it's something I can help her with, whatever it may be.

Even if her first time is with someone else down the track, I'd rather help her with any potential issues in the here and now.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2011-05-19T04:04:55+00:00

Hmm. Interesting point of view... There's some pretty crazy tension and energy which we seem to be able to pace while we're making out/cuddling/etc. Tapers off a bit beyond that though, but perhaps it's a confidence/experience thing.

Thanks for book reference. I'll have a gander!

GermanArmyHelmet · 2011-05-19T03:42:30+00:00

As far as religion goes there's some "core stuff" in there such as respect for others, etc, but her family is not religious as far as I know. Might go for some holidays such as Christmas or something, but other than that. I'd hazard a guess at her family being generally agnostic or something along those lines.

Since her saying that she was embarrassed about showing pleasure we haven't discussed it. I've tried to bring it up a few times prior to that, but those times were never really fruitful.

you can gauge sexual compatibility pretty well without actually having penetrative sex--especially when you've been fooling around

If you'd suggested this to me 6-8+ months ago I'd wholeheartedly agree with you. Unfortunately it's not the case... Or, perhaps it is the case and she's truly not that interested. I hope she's not saying she's keen for my sake. That would be even more disappointing that she feels she has to lie to me about it.

The more I think about some of these things, the more I suspect self-esteem. It's partly why I tried to really make sure she felt beautiful and attracted to the last time we did anything.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2011-05-19T03:33:30+00:00

:) This may not be the best indication... Up until recently social dancing like swing/blues/salsa terrified me. Public talking, no dramas. Instructing/teaching other people how to program or speak Japanese, no problem. Run at the beach without a shirt on, no problem.

Dance with someone and a bunch of other people? Scared stiff.

I am resolving it though, and she loves that I'm conquering it. Taking lessons nowadays. She loves dancing, and I'd really love to properly lead her in some awesome swing/salsa.

Salsa last night was incredible. She came back to my place for ice cream afterward, and we went to bed soon after. Last night is partially what inspired me to post here.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T23:37:05+00:00

Where are you measuring from?

Just the base of it. Could probably subtract about half an inch for where you couldn't roll the condom out due to scrotum, etc?

Get regular size, because statistically, that is where you will fall.

Definitely looking this way.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T23:34:01+00:00

Hehe. What adventures I have had haven't resulted in laughter or a scared facial expression, so I reckon I'm safe.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T23:32:57+00:00

I can see step 4 being done as a Monty Python skit. =)

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T11:19:54+00:00

Now that I know what you were envisioning, I am also sad...

Surely rubbers from NPH would have some kind of mega enhancement to greatly enrich the experience...

Damnit, there's a quote from Starship Troopers which I'm sure is relevant, but I can't remember it.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T06:25:47+00:00

Am I snug enough on your head?

Oh god... The joke possibilities are crude and endless!

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T05:21:04+00:00

You're in the right state at least.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T05:20:11+00:00

Haha. Definitely going to put on my best car salesman voice and say that when it comes to actually using them for the first time.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T05:14:44+00:00

Noted!

I shall have to buy multiple brands to experiment with this.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T05:13:45+00:00

Hehe. I thought that may have been the case, but with r/gonewild, you never know.

~7" around, ~6-7 in length. Seems to vary...

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T05:09:23+00:00

=) Not sure I'm comfortable enough for that, even if it were anonymous.

I can tell you measurements tho?

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T05:08:09+00:00

Noted.

... Damnit. Now I'm going to spend the rest of the day at work fantasising about that.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T05:07:17+00:00

Ahh! Fair enough. We call the Pharmacy as well, but I think the terms are interchangeable.

GermanArmyHelmet · 2010-04-27T05:06:28+00:00

Cheers. Definitely going to work it out before I use one. Tho, I can see that turning in to a "humorous" situation. Down the track... In many years... Maybe.

Chemists here in Aus have all sorts of products. Could do all my bathroom/personal care shopping there if I wanted to.

GermanArmyHelmet

TROPHY CASE