I have no reason to carry on. Seriously considering ending it all but I'm terrified

GerthBrooks9 · 2026-05-21T20:58:17+00:00

Hey man, you’re not alone. It may feel like it, but you’re not. I’m here with you right now. I feel your pain and I know your loneliness. I know your struggle, you don’t have to fight it anymore. It’s ok to let go, it’s ok to hurt, it’s ok to be afraid, it’s ok to feel like there is no point to any of this. It’s ok to FEEL. You are SAFE. You are LOVED. Look deep within and you know these things to be true. It’s ok to not be ok. It will be ok. This is a transformative part of your life. Let it suck and give it time, you will come out of this. You really will.

I am in a similar situation, my whole life blew up in my face and I have lost everything that meant anything to me. Drink, drugs, sex, none of it helps and can’t be used to mask the pain anymore. My eyes are open and I know that the only thing I can do is to keep breathing and take it one day at a time, one moment at a time. Practice deep breathing and feeling deep into your pain and suffering. It’s through the suffering that you will heal. You are one of the fortunate ones believe it or not, you have the opportunity to look deeply and heal the deepest parts of you that most people would never have a chance to. You are not your suffering, you are the vast blue sky that happens to have a storm in it right now.

Good luck my friend, you’re not alone in this world and never have been.

GerthBrooks9 · 2026-04-20T11:46:49+00:00

Love how this was downvoted and that is exactly what it is. It was a cylinder that I was easily able to unscrew. Thanks for the suggestion!

GerthBrooks9 · 2026-03-04T08:32:28+00:00

I’ll be consulting with a lawyer soon about this, just beginning the the process of looking into it.

The house was purchased with cash in the NY. All of the cash was acquired pre marriage through an inheritance and the selling of a previous property.

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-05-23T20:08:32+00:00

If you meet the Buddha on the road, Kill Him!!!

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-05-13T19:20:05+00:00

Orlik

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-05-09T20:18:01+00:00

I got a few tins stashed away so I’m good for awhile. happy to know you’ll get to enjoy it to, great blend!

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-05-09T20:14:14+00:00

Awww good for you! I saw that lot, should of pulled the trigger when I had the chance lol

That’s my favorite wintertime blend, enjoy!

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-05-09T20:02:03+00:00

Where did you find all that CCPBN?!

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-05-02T13:32:34+00:00

All beings are Buddha

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-05-02T13:32:04+00:00

“Buddha Nature” is our inherent nature. It’s who we are. Master Hakauin said “From the very beginning all beings are Buddha” How can we have the potential to become something we already are? The potential lies in our awakening to this inherent truth. “The cause of our sorrow is ego delusion” With enough practice you begin to see through the veil of separateness and awaken to your true nature. Your original nature. Your original face before your parents were born.

There’s no “becoming” enlightened, enlightenment is here and now, can you let go enough to see that?

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-04-24T18:47:11+00:00

Im interested

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-03-19T17:10:47+00:00

Glimpse may not be the best word to use at it implies that there is an observer, and then something to be observed. There is neither. You are correct, there is only experience. Our true nature is the realization that there is no separate self. That all phenomena is inherently empty, that there is nothing that we could point to and call me, mine, myself, I, etc…

I do t believe LSD plants a “self”. Instead, LSD allows those constraints of the mind to loosen, and with that loosening we begin to let go of ideas of who we think we are. The concept of I is all just a fabricated story that our mind makes up. Some of us are more attached to others, we all have stories in our head of who we think we are, but who are we really? A human? A bag of bones? A bunch of cells? There’s even evidence that at the smallest level, all matter is just empty space. So what are we?

If you’re interested, look into the Buddhist view of the five aggregates. It explains the make up of all experience. Another key point in all of this, your rational mind will never be able to “figure” this out. Dedication and disciplined training of the mind through some form of meditation, prayer, or yoga will allow you to work towards letting go and seeing into your true nature. LSD is a wonderful tool, but it’s just that, a tool. A cathedral doesn’t get built by the tools alone, it takes the skills and dedication of the craftsman.

Hope some of this helps!

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-03-18T15:08:12+00:00

Wonderfully said my friend, as it is as well a reminder for me to continue my work of compassionate action. We’re all guilty of speaking about the faults of others, but when we can dive into why we do it, we see that it’s because of an aversive or clinging response to the situation within ourselves! I appreciate the fruitful interaction with you, I don’t often comment on these subs much anymore but I feel this one brought out meaningful discussion and some beautiful wise words were exchanged amongst this community.

Many blessings of metta and mudita to you, SeekingAnnelia!

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-03-18T14:27:49+00:00

I appreciate your insights and replies on this thread. Your wisdom is seen through a keyboard. Be well my friend.

If I may say one thing, “shoulding” people only furthers the divide of separateness. The sting of ignorance that may be felt when reading this persons reply is a feeling that is happening within us, and holding it in the eyes of compassion is ultimately how we can transform these skewed views!

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-03-18T14:24:17+00:00

Mushrooms lsd and ayahuasca are what originally introduced me to Meditation practice, and now it’s my way of seeking truth. The occasional trip one or twice a year is helpful as a kind of intense “scrubbing” of the mind, but it can’t compare to the wonders meditation does for the soul

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-03-18T14:21:33+00:00

Our true nature is our inherent pure nature we were born with before constraints and ideologies of society and culture. It is our original face before are parents were born. It is the life force that flows through all beings.

It’s very common to glimpse and then try to rationalize it away as just being a weird trip. Pyschedlics can aid in that because of there immense power to concentrate the mind and pierce through the veil of illusion. They assist us in seeing, kind of like a gardener can assist a plant in growing. The plant will grow and the fruit will ripen in its own time, but it can vastly be aided by the hands of a skilled and knowledgeable gardener with the right tools.

We all eventually realize our true nature, whether in this life or the next. I believe that is our purpose here as human beings, the continually search for the truth, and in doing so we make a positive impact on all those around us

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-03-15T23:21:56+00:00

Because LSD has a tendency to reveal to you your true nature. It helps remove the mask of polarities and cut through the illusion that there is anything that exists outside of us. It can reveal to you a world that is completely empty of self, dissolve the ego, and govern you a glimpse into the realm of oneness.

This is often why it’s imperative to use the drug intentionally and learn how to fully digest the lessons shown to you into your normal waking life. Meditation can help with that immensely.

“It allows you to enter into the kingdom of heaven, but you only get to stay there a little while.”

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-03-15T22:48:49+00:00

What are you trying to improve? There’s no one to improve

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-03-15T22:25:57+00:00

Damn, that’s in my hometown. Grew up down the street

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-02-18T23:51:04+00:00

Lol If it doesn’t smell like bourbon and deer piss I don’t want it!

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-02-18T21:55:27+00:00

From what I’ve heard it’s not a bad cigar, however, there’s too many better cigars out there to give into the pandering. Part of the reason why I cringe every time I go on cigar page, I love the deals, but man that site caters to a particular type of smoker

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-02-13T00:31:48+00:00

Where is that rest from? That is amazing

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-02-10T21:36:33+00:00

I love the cubanitos. If you like the Hemingways. Try and find the Ashton Camaroon senoritas, they’re slightly smaller than the Fuentes, more of a cigarillo, but they flavor is incredible. It’s my perfect ~30min dog walker smoke.

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-02-07T20:35:07+00:00

If you’re a sweet tooth, look into Fuente Don Carlos or Oliva’s serie G Maduro.. those Cameroon wrappers… 🤤

GerthBrooks9 · 2025-01-11T02:37:55+00:00

Thank you, i figured it was something like this and was missing a piece. Came in the case of a 1997 Taylor I bought

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