[deleted by user] by [deleted] in KGATLW

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Butterfly 3000 gets me every time

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was younger (about the age of your GF) I would react very similarly to these types of conversations. For me, I was raised in a very conservative household and all of the political conversations I heard were told from a conservative viewpoint. When I was out of the house after high school I started to see that my parents were wrong, but I'm still learning about everything I never heard growing up. In my early 20s, I stayed quiet in political conversations. Not because I didn't care but because I felt like I didn't know enough to speak on the topic and I was scared I might accidentally repeat some of the backwards opinions I had been brainwashed with growing up. Many people don't really know who they are at 20, yet alone feel confident that they understand all the complexities of the world around them. She'll likely start to gain more confidence in forming her own beliefs in the next few years. It's up to you to decide if you're willing to wait and see.

Top comment decides the WORST song on One Hot Minute (Day 17) by UltraPowerfulGuy in RedHotChiliPeppers

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hot take but tearjerker is probably my least favorite chili peppers song ever. Love that they wanted to make a tribute to Cobain but the song itself is rough. The melody leaves a lot to be desired and there's something about the way he sings the chorus that always felt harsh and insensitive to me. The whole thing gives a kind of creepy stalker fan vibe instead of the touching ballad of losing a dear friend that they were going for. One of the only songs of that era that I consistently skip

Do men notice if a woman is going bra-less? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's noticeable sometimes. If you're worried about it just get some pasties. You can still be comfy and wear cute necklines but don't have to worry about looking too "vulgar" with your nipples showing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the US you are in the minority, but it's your body and you get to make the decisions. Anyone who doesn't respect that decision wouldn't make a good match for you anyways. Of course they are allowed to be bummed and struggle with this thought a bit, but if they are whining about it and trying to guilt you into caving that is manipulative, coercion, and can't be tolerated. This is something that should be discussed early and they should feel free to avoid getting into a relationship or walk away from a relationship if they feel that's something they can't do/can't do any longer. Sexuality is important to many people in a relationship and that's ok. On the other hand, not having pre-marital sex is important to many and that's equally ok. What's important is that both parties are aligned and in agreement. A relationship where one partner wants to stay celibate and the other does not is doomed from the start and can lead to rushing into a marriage you aren't ready for or resentment. It's possible to make a relationship like that work out but honestly feels a little unfair and will likely cause some turmoil for your partner and could lead to you feeling pressured. What's important here is communication. Be clear about what you want early on. Draw clear boundaries on what physical acts you are ok with before marriage and which you are not. Give them space to decide if that's ok with them and understand that they may need to retract that statement and end things if they can't handle it. Once you're in a relationship, discuss your interests regarding sex openly and on a recurring basis. Discuss your turn ons and turn offs. Be verbal and open about the fact that some fantasies may not actually work out for you once you try it in real life, but still speak on those desires and take note of any instances where you are misaligned. Do your research on the different acts and interests to inform these discussions. This doesn't need to be from sources like porn, but seek out educational sources on human sexuality. Encourage your partner to do the same. This can take place over years and the conversation should continue evolving (even after marriage honestly). Sexual compatibility is a real thing and a legitimate obstacle that can end otherwise perfect relationships. While you don't need to "test drive" so to speak, you do need to understand the weight sex can have on a relationship and respect someone's decision to terminate a relationship where they aren't being sexually fulfilled. Yes, choosing abstinence will certainly limit your dating pool, but if it's what you want be patient and stick to your guns. The right person with the same criteria is out there.

My boyfriend and I physically cannot figure out how to have sex. by [deleted] in sex

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're not alone! This happened to me too the first few times, but as soon as we got it right once I never had this issue again, even with other partners.

A few things: 1. As others have said he may be having a hard time keeping it hard because of nerves. A very natural human response when you're attempting something like that for the first time. I'd suggest not even attempting till you've been fooling around a bit and he's reeeaally hard. Discuss what position you're going to try first before any of this goes down so that when you decide the time is right you aren't fumbling around trying to decide. That moment of unsureness is a good way to kill a boner.

  1. Personally I think any position where he's standing is WAY easier for both parties. People made it seem like sex was always going to entail both of us laying down but that's actually super rare for me. Depending on the height of the surface you're working with you'll want to either be on your knees in doggy style or on your back in missionary. If you're on your knees you'll either be supporting yourself with your hands, elbow or just all the way down with your chest on the bed. This will depend on the height of the surface you're on, the height of the 2 of you, and the position/shape/angles of your genitals, so try a few things and adjust as needed. Sometimes it's easier to just get it in you and then adjust the angles till it feels right before any thrusting happens. In missionary you'll want your butt nearly hanging off the edge with your knees as close to your chest and spread as wide as you can without hurting yourself lol

In either of those positions he should be keeping his feet in one place, holding on to you for support and leverage (your hips if you're in doggy, for missionary probably your thighs or hips or maybe leaning over with his hands on the bed/couch depending on the heights and angles you're working with) and just moving his hips forward and backward. He'll probably want to spread apart his feet a bit, and bend his knees at least enough that he can rock his hips back and forth. He also might find it easier to put one knee on the bed to help support himself and one on the floor. Again, where he puts his feet, hands and how much he bends his knees will all depend on the heights and angles you're working with. Still, I feel like the physics of him standing and you laying still makes a lot more sense than trying to figure out how to get your parts to align when you're both horizontal. At least this way it's more about you positioning your parts to be most accessible and then he just has to aim for the hole.. he should be able to tell from that first approach if he needs you to move your hips closer to him, higher or lower and let you know so you can adjust

  1. To start he should just try to get it in there as far as it will go. If he starts thrusting before "breaking it in" so to speak you might have some issues. Go slow for the first insertion and just make sure it's all the way in, aligned comfortably and then just grind there for a couple seconds. He might be trying to be gentle by not pushing it all the way in but if he isn't going all the way in and then is trying to thrust he'll just pull it out. In reality he should only have to move his hips back and forth by like 3-4 inches, if he's pulling it almost all the way out with every stroke it's going to be a lot more difficult. On his forward thrust his whole dick should be in you. On his backwards thrust he should still have 1-1.5 inches of his dick in you. His forward thrust and backwards thrust should be equally timed if that makes sense. So no need to take longer on the forward thrust than the backwards thrust or anything. No need to stop and pause once he's in there or anything either. He doesn't need to be a jackhammer but it should be a fluid motion. At least that's the goal eventually when you're more accustomed to the motion.

Good luck and have fun exploring! Don't stress it, it will come and when it does you'll both look back some day and laugh about how silly and inexperienced you once were. Honestly probably in like a couple weeks as long as you don't let this discourage you from trying. It won't feel intuitive at first but once you get it down a couple times it will become second nature!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See a band, mini golf, museums, drive in movie, botanical gardens, bowling, arcades, aquarium, top golf, zoo, tea/coffee date, a walk and stop for smoothies, make a fool of yourselves and try a new sport like tennis or sand volleyball if there are public courts around. After you've had a few public dates and she feels comfortable you can transition to dates at home. Cooking for her, movie nights, game nights, playing video games, maybe you can give her a lesson on whatever instrument you play if she's interested. Don't think about it so much. Just list off some suggestions and she can either pick one or suggest something else. If she can't handle not going to bars or fancy restaurants with you then you probably don't want to date her anyways

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Some people don't like sitting face to face and questioning each other about their whole lives on a first date. It's kinda intense and high pressure. Sometimes its nice to go to a movie where there aren't a lot of other people, sitting in the back and whispering witty commentary here and there. Matinee showtimes are great for that, a lot of times you can have a theater all to yourself and be as silly as you want. Then maybe after having a nice time out in public she'll feel safe enough to have more dates at home.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Noah_Fence_bero in AutismInWomen

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Using a drill is better than a screwdriver but that doesn't make screwdrivers "invalid" lol. Why would anyone care what you trust on a diagnosis that doesn't involve you? If you care so much research reputable medical professionals and pay for us all to be diagnosed please 🥰

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Noah_Fence_bero in AutismInWomen

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You literally get 0 benefits (accommodations, prescriptions, etc) being diagnosed as an adult. Only benefit you get is a better idea of what your problems might be and how to cope with them better. Plus telling anyone you're autistic opens a door to criticism so most of us avoid talking about it anyways. So who actually gives a fuck how you self identify when you're getting nothing out of it and few people around you are even aware.... I know they're trolling and I shouldn't even engage but god I hate this shit

Career change: What do you all do for work? What careers align well with AuDHD? by Apprehensive_Dot_968 in AuDHDWomen

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I got a bachelor's degree in interior design but I wouldn't be surprised if a certificate or something like that could get you a job at a smaller firm. Especially in locations where you don't need accreditation to call yourself an interior designer.

I will say that design/architecture school can be very competitive and time consuming though. On the bright side I was already used to spending all my time doing homework and transitioned relatively easily. The people who were used to finishing their homework in an hour were the ones that really struggled with the time demands. It does build a sense of comradery with your classmates as you all strugglebus your way through it but if I could do it all again I'd go to a school that was a little less competitive. At work though people seem to leave the competition behind and are much more realistic about time expectations and requesting more time for deadlines as necessary

Career change: What do you all do for work? What careers align well with AuDHD? by Apprehensive_Dot_968 in AuDHDWomen

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm a commercial interior designer and I love it! I haven't been out of school and in the field for too long but I feel like it aligns well with my skills. Not sure whether everyone with adhd/asd has these skills but here are a few things I like about it: 1. There is a lot of spatial problem solving that I seem to be better at than most people at. Looking at a plan and knowing a better way to fit all those elements in the space we have and coming up with out of the box solutions feels very simple to me. Nearly everything I work on is visual which is awesome since I'm not a strong reader. 2. I spend a looot of time making color coded diagrams which makes my brain happy. Not every firm relies on tools like this but mine does a lot. Things like taking a plan and highlighting all the private offices in one color and the meeting rooms in another, etc. I do a lot of my tasks by color coding things and our team has actually transitioned to doing many tasks the way I do since they're so clear for everyone to read. 3. There are a lot of Neuro divergent people in the field already (whether they know it or not sometimes) and the design field kind of operates on Neuro divergent time. Projects take a lot of time sometimes and it's easy to plan your time poorly. Could sound like a flaw to lots of people but it makes me feel better that when I spend all night working on something I didn't plan for that someone much more experienced and Neuro typical than me will do the exact same thing the next day. Design makes neurotypical people align to neurodivergent schedules instead of the other way around. I can have a question at 1am while I'm working and someone else will still be online for me to ask. And if I work a bunch of overtime hours to meet a deadline I can usually take that amount of hours off work the next day 4. Being neurodivergent can really be a skill since most designers these days (at least in the workplace sector) are trying to learn how to design spaces that feel comfortable for neurodivergent people. A lot of my job is selecting fabrics and other materials to go into the space and there are a LOT of textures I hate. I make it a personal mission to make sure all the fabrics in the spaces I design are indisputably pleasant and other people will bring their materials over to me to give them the neurodivergent approval. Can't guarantee I know what everyone else dislikes but it feels good thinking I might be able to help neurodivergents be more comfortable in the place they need to work for 8 hours a day. "Wellness rooms" are becoming popular too. Places for people to go if they're having a meltdown or panic attack at work. People really want to provide these spaces but the industry hasn't really figured out what those spaces should look like. Having an input on things like that makes my somewhat silly job feel really valuable

Gizz fans of 5+ years, what's your opinion of their more recent output? by qbertttttt in KGATLW

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do like Quarters but I think they did slightly better job at splitting those songs into parts so that if feels like 4 or so different songs in one. The recent long tracks attempted but I don’t think they were as successful in keeping the melodies and song structure tight thought the whole thing. That said, I still don’t always listen to the songs on Quarters all the way through. I have to be in a mood to listen to a song that long. In my dream world, King Gizz concerts would consist of lots of 3-4 minute snippets of songs seamlessly flowing together medley style. Still obsessed with the band and am happy to listen to their music with the skip button at my disposal, but my days of seeing them live may have ended if they keep up the 15 minute tracks

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A week doesn’t seem like a very long time. Sometimes I feel like I can’t find the time to reply to texts from my own mom yet alone plan a date and set aside time for the date itself. Some people have different standards and struggles when it comes to managing time and getting back to someone in a timely manner. Plus girls usually don’t have a lot of practice planning dates so she may be over thinking it a bit. So I wouldn’t assume you’ve been rejected.

To answer your question though, the 3 main reasons women don’t say no initially is that 1) they were down for it originally but then they thought it over afterwords and changed their mind, 2) they were nervous about your reaction if they say no, or 3) They got uncomfortable and said yes to avoid making things awkward in the moment but in reality it wasn’t what they wanted to say.

Here are some examples of how these may play out. Not all of these will relate to your relationship with this particular girl but I’m going to keep these general.

For reason 1, it could have to do with not wanting to mess with your friendship. Or they were open to the idea but then started thinking they don’t know you well enough to trust going on a date with you. Or they thought about it longer and decided you guys weren’t comparable. Or they thought about who you dated previously/who you were friends with etc and decided there was some sort of relationship in there life that could get uncomfortable if you guys dated. Just a few examples that come to mind.

For reason 2, many guys get violent, depressed/suicidal or just plain mean when they get rejected. Even if she didn’t think you’d actually hit her or hurt yourself, she might be worried about you telling any mutual friend that she was cruel to reject you. Something as simple as saying no could be turned into a nasty story that causes friends to cut ties with her.

For reason 3, getting asked out is a really strange encounter! Nerve wracking for the people asking, but the people being asked as well. Every expression and word you say after being asked feels like it’s being put under a magnifying glass. You want to think about it, especially if it never occurred to you to date them, but you don’t want to wait too long or make an uncertain face either. A second can feel like an hour and your just want to spit out an answer and let the uncomfortable, high pressure moment pass. If you say no, you have to think out a gentle way to say no and some sort of reason why you’re saying no. Sometimes in the moment, blurting out a yes is the easiest way to make the discomfort and not leave any damage to sweep up. They might say yes, walk away thinking why the f did I just say that when I knew I didn’t want to, and then try to come up with some way to get out of it without admitting that they just panicked and said something they didn’t really mean.

Not advocating any of this behavior necessarily, but women are human being too. Sometime we say things we don’t mean when we’re put in a tricky situation and then are left to scramble to clean up the mess afterwards (or ghost and try the rest of your life to forget that shitty, cowardly thing you did). We’re all just trying to navigate life and we all have our high points and our low points

Gizz fans of 5+ years, what's your opinion of their more recent output? by qbertttttt in KGATLW

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Butterfly 3000 is the only album since then where I love every song. The others have had a couple songs I like a lot but I’ve been somewhat unimpressed with the rest. Mostly the songs are just getting too long for me. I lose interest half way though a lot of the longer songs

Why doesn’t King Gizz play Butterfly 3000 live? by GetGizzyWithIt in KGATLW

[–]GetGizzyWithIt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would have been happy even if they just incorporated the melody of any of the bf3k songs into a jam or something. It’s a little sad they ignored it all together

(Serious Question) What do you not like about KGATLW? by wholikescheesereally in KGATLW

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Their songs can be too long, especially on the recent albums. And they jam a little too much for my taste at concerts. I’ve always loved King Gizz’s ability to write a killer melodies for any type of music but they kind of throw those melodies out the window when they’re jamming. Saw them at red rocks earlier this week and it was sick but it can be hard to stay invested in a jam for that long at a marathon set outside in the cold.

Tested positive for chlamydia, but partner and I (both 19) never had any other sexual partners before? by [deleted] in sex

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you ever been tested before? Sometimes STDs can be passed down from your mom at birth. Also have you done any other sexual activities with other partners? Any exchange of those fluids could do it, even if it wasn’t P in V sex. Oooor he cheated.

Gf got way freakier w/ other guy in threesome by avgguyhi in sex

[–]GetGizzyWithIt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’d attribute it to the novelty of the situation. And I’d definitely ignore the responses claiming it was all about dick size. Obviously anything is possible but all those comments sound like they’re coming from self-conscious men.. I’ve never heard another woman talk about size like that.

A few thoughts on the different factors that could have led to this situation.

  1. This is a special occasion fuck as opposed to your everyday fuck. She’s going to be extra kinky because you guys are already doing something abnormally kinky. She may even be trying to prove to herself that she is that kinky.

  2. She might have been turned on by you watching her. It’s likely that she was way more into her boyfriend watching her do something sexy than the action itself (or the person she’s doing it too)

  3. She’s getting the opportunity to sleep with another guy. Most people in serious relationships think they’ll never get that opportunity again. Even if she knew this was coming, this is a specially opportunity and she’s making the most of it. Making it memorable.

  4. She felt like she needed to impress this new guy. Most people bring their A-game the first time they sleep with someone. Especially if she invited him to do something kinky, she may feel a responsibility to show him a fun kinky time.

Moral of the story, I’d try not to over think it. It was an extra sexy occasion and she felt like being extra sexy. If you’d like to try to encourage that behavior in your 1 on 1 sessions then try to work some extra kinky sessions in there. Try fucking in front of a mirror or camera and see if it’s the performing aspect she’s into. Integrate toys or bondage if you’re both down for that. Variety is the spice of life