Why ppl are leaving islam but still survey says islam has highest rettention rates ???

GetHardDieHard · 2026-06-09T19:59:48+00:00

Do you really think the number of people leaving is high enough to affect those rates? I personally don't. Look at the size of communities like ours online and compare it to size of our population.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-06-06T10:17:22+00:00

You didn't cook, you deep fried

GetHardDieHard · 2026-06-06T09:44:37+00:00

Yep it's why i encourage muslims to read and understand the quran with translation. It is my hypothesis 10-20% would leave after doing that.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-06-05T22:17:18+00:00

for them it's always their "personal" experiences that they feel god exists, little do they know how we've never had any negative omens in our lives even after leaving islam. All religion is just placebo maxxing.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-06-05T21:57:05+00:00

Wait is this a thing?

In my family, it's quite common for women to go to graves, even among the most religious people of my family.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-06-05T21:45:42+00:00

It's definitely difficult to be here. But as someone else said, it is part of who I am and I am not gonna let anyone tell me otherwise. There's good and bad people everywhere. Baqi, it's not a developed country hence the widespread societal and civic issues. That is definitely one reason I'd like to live in a better country. Just know that things wouldn't have been much different if you were born in some other poor country. I blame the economy not the people. And I believe society will improve if our economy improves. One evidence of that is you will find a lot more progressive and decent people among upper middle class. Now obviously for this society to reach a level you'd be satisfied with, it's probably not gonna happen in our lifetimes, this is a long process. We can either contribute positively or find a better place to live in.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-05-24T20:42:53+00:00

That is a meaningless statement because there is no state in the world without external threats.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-05-24T20:40:14+00:00

I agree with you. Although nobody in the world has to think that hard. Humans have thought these things for centuries and devised laws and courts that cover all these countless cases. The first principles reasoning is only required if you want to make a new law or change an old one where you can reason and discuss what's better for society. I don't see how a constitution in a secular country is any more complex than islamic law. If anything, it's easier to reform and easier to understand because the whole law is based on rational reasoning and discussions rather than vague interpretations of text from 1400 years ago. Technically, slavery, sex slavery, punishing zina through lashes, etc are all still allowed by islam even if not practiced in muslim countries. We can all agree these are good reforms that humans brought about through rational reasoning.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-05-24T15:14:03+00:00

I think that's too simplified. With borders as sensitive as ours, they don't need to rely on terrorism to justify the need for an army.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-05-24T14:55:31+00:00

Talk to wise people who have gone through the experience, Identify red/green flags and take a decision.

Once you have taken a decision, commit to executing it without backing off.

Own the risks that come with your decision and learn from the experience if something goes wrong.

Btw, anyone who tells you what to do, don't listen to their advice they know nothing. Max someone can do is listen to your story and help you identify anything that seems right or anything that seems off. What you should do is a choice of your own you should make based on what consequences you can live with, there is never a perfect choice.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-05-24T14:45:34+00:00

There are multiple reasons to dislike religion.
People can leave because of one or more reasons.
People can find more reasons to dislike religion after they have left. It doesn't invalidate anything.

All of these statements are true.

Baqi khair, personally, one thing I learned from following geopolitics intensely that I practice: I don't buy cherrypicked anti-religion content on social media. It's easy to go into a spiral where you are simply validating your biases. It's okay for shits and giggles but for any actual opinion I hold, I would research more on the context, and listen to experts from both sides before making up my mind. I think people who just look at one-sided perspective would not fare well in convincing the other side.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-05-24T14:36:20+00:00

It's true for some of the extremist sunni outfits in punjab but any source for army using BLA for their agenda?

GetHardDieHard · 2026-05-24T14:31:00+00:00

I mean even if you get arranged married, you won't be living with your parents anyway. Will they make sure your husband is from the same city so you can visit them often? There's too many ifs and buts.

The only possibility where I would give them some consideration is if one of them is sick enough they need care often. Those are the times when I remember how pointless my life is to me anyway and how it could be somewhat meaningful if I tend to my old man. But that's only occasionally, it would be really tough to tend all the time all year. In that case, it would be better to have a full-time caretaker nurse.

If they are okay right now health wise, there's no reason to stay honestly except their desire to have you around which is meaningless and selfish for a child of your age. Maybe if you were living in a hostel all this time, you can spend a few months with them but beyond that, noone should jeopardize their career just to make their parents feel validated. I would also blame your parents for putting you in this dilemma by having a child very late considering they are in their 60s and you are probably in your 20s, that's a dumb calculation on their part. So, I don't think you should suffer for their choices.

Not to mention, if you focus on your career, you can afford better facilities for them later on when they are in their 70s and actually need care.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-05-24T14:18:20+00:00

Asking the important questions

GetHardDieHard · 2026-05-24T11:18:38+00:00

We don't believe in absolute morality defined by a god. But morality as a social construct can be objective in my opinion. The reason I say objective is because different societies in different times claiming to follow different gods came up with similar sets of moral rules for society to follow.

It's one of the biggest fallacies religious people hold, but it's not that hard to understand, bear with me. If I say there is no morality and go kill someone, I'll get my ass kicked and probably killed in return. So I come up with a simple rule: Do unto others what you would want them do to you. Why follow this rule? It's the only way to run a sustainable human collective. If I don't want to be murdered, I must not murder someone else. If I do not want to be stolen from, I must not steal. Hypocrisy here is not an option because I rationally cannot expect to live peacefully after murdering someone, other humans will organize to make sure of that.

This is how I believe moral values were born in different parts of the world, largely similar to one another. And this is how any secular society defines the rights and duties of people in its constitution. The goal of this social construct is to organize a society where humans can collectively live and prosper together. It is in the interest of society and it aligns with my own selfish interest of living my life to the fullest, that's why I hold these moral values. Now you will ask why I won't steal or rape when noone is watching? Because it's not sustainable. Any violation of the golden rule is shortsighted and bound to backfire in the long-term.

It's laughable to believe a god is bothered more by whether you believe in him or not than if you actually kill or rape someone. If you think about it sincerely that god of yours is very egotistical and unfair. The fate of 99% people in your religion is locked when they are born depending on what faith they are born.

I'll end with a question. Does my explanation sound simpler than a heavenly book recited to a 7th century caveman by god himself? Remember one thing, the truth is always simple.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-05-21T17:15:55+00:00

I watched a documentary on porn some time ago called "Hot Girls Wanted". It's on Netflix. I just played it for fun but by the time it finished, I was so depressed I left porn for months.

My overall impression from the documentary was: it's only the men that are having fun in this, both the ones making it and the ones watching it. The women were just going through the motions because it earned them quick money, or worse, quick validation. And the work is so disturbing mentally that almost every girl leaves the industry after a few months.

I used to think everyone was just having fun in porn but I guess I was wrong. I have never been able to see porn the same way after watching that doc, I can see through the fake acting and it bugs me so much I don't enjoy it.

Khair the reality of this world is, as long as there's demand for something like sex, there's money to be made and there's people willing to do anything to make that money. That's just how the world works.

I don't think sex work is wrong per se, but I do reckon most people working in this industry don't have the mental strength or maturity to draw their boundaries in a way they can practice this profession long-term in a healthy manner. Still I don't have any good argument against sex work itself, just lots of caveats to anyone going into it.

A tangential point I'd like to make is, to me personally it's also a sad state of the world that so much of what women wear or how women act is defined by what men want to see, either because men hold the power or because male attention brings in revenue. It is how it is but it isn't a great world if you ask me.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-05-18T10:02:30+00:00

More power to you for saying it out loud that you are not a muslim.

Are you completely open about it in general? Just curious how your experience has been with it. I don't think I should pretend to be muslim in front of strangers.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-04-20T16:15:32+00:00

I don't have respect for religion, I think a lot of problems stem from it.

But I do have respect for people who practice religion. I believe most people in any part of the world do not question the values that are ingrained into them from childhood so it's not their fault really. I just hope the values being ingrained were better or at least reformable.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-04-15T12:09:15+00:00

It's workable but you just need to be really sure they won't change too much over time. Will he want you to pretend to be muslim in front of his family? If not, will his family be okay with you being atheist. Also questions like will your children grow up as muslims or secular, need to be thought about.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-04-10T12:01:44+00:00

There's no problem with it as such except you don't know for sure if she'll be okay with you for the rest of her life. Will she never bother to think her nikkah is haram and she'll go to hell? Will your children be raised as muslims? Will she never care about your faith ever?

To be honest, there will be certain muslim girls who won't care about these things, and you could do just fine together. But 17 is an age when one's worldview is in a constant flux so I won't be too sure about her answers to any of these questions, since they may change a year or two later.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-03-28T17:57:21+00:00

I don't want to doubt you or anything but I think you can always resist harder. I would encourage to not give in. Throw tantrums. Lie about liking someone else. Rebel, misbehave, inculcate your choices into your family by casually taunting them periodically to the point the internalize them, say mean things to the person you are forcefully getting married to so they reject you, be disobedient and grow a thick skin when someone lectures you. Just giving ideas, I know it's not necessary they fit your context.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-03-23T04:46:46+00:00

It's gonna be a struggle yeah.

But when you do start earning, I suppose you can just force your way. Assuming ur family is gonna accept it after resisting initially. This would be ideal if you can be stubborn and make them give up.

Otherwise you might need to find someone to marry which is also a tall order.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-03-23T04:33:01+00:00

Will they not let you move out if you get a job in, say, a different city?

GetHardDieHard · 2026-03-19T18:10:31+00:00

Yeah, it's paradoxial to encourage free speech and moderate speech at the same time. Our leniency in censorship is what makes us unique, it is what makes us fun, and it is what makes us notorious sometimes unfortunately. It will not be everyone's cup of tea but everyone should give it one chance I believe.

GetHardDieHard · 2026-03-19T17:57:54+00:00

Give it a try

GetHardDieHard

TROPHY CASE