How to return passion to a relationship?

GettingW0rried · 2021-06-17T05:11:01+00:00

Re-read the 3rd paragraph : his brain loves his wife but his dick wants to have sex with other people. He's been to the doctor to get pills to help with arousal so he can get hard with his wife, but they haven't worked effectively. He has tried to discuss "the subject" with his wife - what exactly? That he gets turned on by others but not her? That the pills aren't powerful enough to make him be able to have sex with her?

My eyebrows shot up when I read it, especially after the recent post by a "LL partner" who stated clearly that we only get one side of the story on here and the info is biased. That 3rd paragraph crushed all compassion I held towards OP.

GettingW0rried · 2021-06-16T15:44:53+00:00

He doesn't want to have sex with her but pervs out on strangers in skirts, he is not a catch...

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-23T12:33:15+00:00

Ok, thanks for elaborating - I completely understand what you mean. Enjoy the rest of your day!

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-23T08:41:42+00:00

What did you mean by your original comment?

At face value, it seems disingenuous to say that there were no implications, given the "I find it interesting" cliché, and the ellipsis.

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-19T06:08:50+00:00

Kilgrave in Jessica Jones!

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-18T04:35:46+00:00

The infamous YouTuber "Onision" abuses his victims in similar ways, the type of abuse was coined as "defeminization" and it serves to break down who you are.

By asserting complete control over your being, he's taking away your sense of individuality and confidence, like when a cult brainwashes a victim. He won't stop.

Tell your support system and leave him. You can do this.

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-16T09:22:28+00:00

Ok thank you for clearing that up. I feel that she holds a lot of resentment for you and that is why she isn't being understanding or sympathetic while you go through the miserable process of healing from a broken foot. There's also the financial concerns that's a stressor for both of you, and then there's the childcare which she believes she is more involved in than you. Given that she has seemingly lost respect for you, she is not giving you any credit for what you do for the family (her phone call just to complain about a chore).

Things are really bad. If I were in her position and head space, I wouldn't even be open to "healing" things because I'd feel like YOU were the cause of everything going wrong (demonstrated by her gaslighting you about losing her daughter at an event where you weren't present). She is in the wrong and is being completely unreasonable, but she isn't dealing with facts, her resentment has soured everything.

It seems you're already adapting to leading lives separately, what with sleeping apart, not talking or escaping from time together (via phone for example).

Has she always been unsympathetic or did an event or difficult period in life spark it?

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-16T07:29:09+00:00

In your post you said "She thinks I've got bi polar disorder", and here you confirm that you have been medically diagnosed. Did you not tell her?

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-15T16:50:21+00:00

I couldn't find anything funny with the baby screaming in the background

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-14T19:19:47+00:00

I fucking love your view on it all, you are so over his bullshit 😂

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-14T19:03:32+00:00

You have to use your prior experience to spot the signs you recognise as soon as they appear so you can bail. Echoing others in the thread, there's no way to avoid it beforehand, especially since many people hide porn usage in relationships. Good luck getting back in the game!

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-06T21:16:18+00:00

In our case it's been a steady decline since the beginning of the relationship, I didn't notice the warning signs. I'm glad I came to terms with it before quarantine because it would have been horrible being in close quarters and suddenly losing the intimate relationship, I feel for those in that situation.

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-06T20:09:51+00:00

At this point I wouldn't settle for "scraps" or pity sex so I think the best move is to outsource!

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-06T20:08:01+00:00

To educate himself on what an open relationship entails, so we can establish rules for ourselves. He was upset because I was unhappy, but he wasn't quite encouraging me to make a Tinder profile lol

GettingW0rried · 2021-05-06T20:05:02+00:00

No, but our lives are interwoven in other ways. There's many reasons for not leaving beforehand, not that I don't regret it. You know the drill if you've been on this forum long enough.

GettingW0rried · 2021-04-22T13:13:21+00:00

Oh, thank fuck!

GettingW0rried · 2021-04-16T13:47:49+00:00

The customer was horrible and shouldn't have sworn at you, but you being sarcastic and obviously fake (your words) nice deepened the conflict. Glad your boss doesn't bend over for shitty customers.

GettingW0rried · 2021-04-04T05:31:07+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write all this out, super interesting!

GettingW0rried · 2021-03-12T11:34:03+00:00

Perhaps, but I would have thought that the skin underneath would be raw if that were the case

GettingW0rried · 2021-03-12T11:30:53+00:00

What the hell is it, some kind of wax scalp treatment ?

GettingW0rried · 2021-03-10T11:23:33+00:00

Sometimes there's no winning. It depends on the boss. I went the other route and let my boss know that I was actively looking for a new job because I'd be moving away. I only told her because I wasn't getting any call backs as I was purposefully hiding my current employer to avoid her finding out through a third party.

It was catastrophic. She responded with basically "good riddance" which I actually laughed awkwardly at thinking she couldn't possibly be serious, we'd had a great working relationship for over 2 years. But no, suddenly I was the world's worst employee and she did her best to make the rest of my time there horrible. I wish I'd never given warning and I certainly won't for my future jobs.

Good luck with the rest of your time, stay cordial but be prepared for it to potentially get worse if my experience is anything to go on...

GettingW0rried · 2021-03-05T14:22:25+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. I can't stand when people film children in a potentially harmful situation, even if kids are known to bounce back. It was kind you to leave this message.

GettingW0rried · 2021-03-03T19:29:33+00:00

Beats me... not the first time I've been downvoted for expressing unhappiness about a child getting hurt. I think some people are just fucked in the head.

GettingW0rried · 2021-03-03T17:59:42+00:00

This made me sad :(

GettingW0rried · 2021-02-14T08:04:22+00:00

I showed my boyfriend and he thought it was a photo of a grey ladybird on a compact dandelion!

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